A reading from the book of ZOT!
Brethren, unil the time of the final battle of Zotnarok, the annals of the good Book of ZOT! will on this day recall the tales of the day that the Viking Kitties did dance upon the fell bits and bytes of “jla”, most vile and bewildered of all trollkind.
For many risings of the sun hath the kittith battled the wiley troll whoith didith trulyth HaZithed a confused. And suddenly, in a flash of the high Holy Amperage, did the Great Cat smitith his buttox and bring clarity to hiZ confusion...or should we say that his confusion was brought to Clarity, the fallen freeper with whom he now shares a pillar in the vast fields of Trollhenge...but I digress...
We may never truly know whatith ailedith our former foe, for his past is one of contradictory pissings. Once an ardent Palinista, jla succumbed to the vile disease PDS, ranting and raving, corrupting the threads of Asgard’s tapestries with deceit, false witness and a seeming desire to stand boldly on the wrong side of every issue.
Here, on a site dedicated to God and Country, jla did take it uponith hisself to bash those who would boldly proclaim their faith in the former,while making mockery of the later through his actions.
Long did he vexith the faithful, who spoke in all but one voice at their dismay...and many did wonder if their pleas would forever fall on deafened ears. Did the Great Cat not care? Woe, brethren...woe, was on the minds of many. But the ways of ‘He Who Waits” are not for us to know. And so, when jla did finally leavith the reservation at warp 9 n a burst of verbal diarrhea, didith the Great Cat redirect his flight plan. Mightily! And with swiftboot!
And so did the fuzzy little angels of digital discorporation flutter down from Valhalla clad in the protective armor of “Hazmat the Inviolate” so as to ward off any lingering and as-yet unidentified pathogens from the binary nits and bytes of the bezotted bonehead. And lo didith they carry him off to fell Trollhenge and deposit him into the Porcelain receptacle with the rest of the poopith.
And there was MUCH rejoicing! (For we ALL haZ a happy!)
Today brethren, a team of Asgardean scientists gather daily to try and make sense of one whose sense clearly left some time ago. They ponder how it is that one of the faithful could lose their way so thoroughly. It is, and perhaps shall forever remain, a mystery. We do not know, nor may we ever. We only know that the lands of Asgard have become a better place.
Book of ZOT! Chapter 66, Verse 20-27, “A solution to trollean confuZion”
Normie, Chief Druid of Trollhenge
Cult of Palin (tagline re-added just to twist the knife ;)
And lo, what is this I hear? The one called 'Clairity' has also been transported to Trollhenge??? Please reply to my query with most urgent haste, my brother, for I must know if this is true.
Preach on, my brother, for the words recorded are good.