Posted on 09/23/2011 9:10:13 AM PDT by rhema
Local foodstuff mega-company General Mills, which was formed in 1904 by the merger of Specific Mills and Vague Mills, announced that its profits have been hit by high ingredient costs.
There's the price of corn, which previously had one purpose: being eaten as corn. Now it's used for high-fructose corn syrup, which some say will give a brick diabetes if soaked long enough, and it's used in plastics, as people who subscribe to the Star Tribune's popular "dog-waste disposal system" know. (It's a great deal -- sign up for daily bag delivery and we'll include a newspaper inside at no charge.) And there's ethanol, of course. So the price goes up, and a box of cereal shrinks until you're paying four bucks for something the size of a paperback book.
Perhaps General Mills has deeper problems. The ingenious joy that once fueled the breakfast cereal industry seems to have sputtered and died, replaced by a grim insistence that you eat so much fiber it starts shooting out your cuffs like hay from an overstuffed scarecrow.
Anyone who spends a lot of time in the cereal aisle, trying to decide which indistinguishable fiber-fortified stuff is cheaper this week, gets a twinge of nostalgia for the days when cereals boasted that they were sweetened. Promised it. Fortified with Dextrose! Gives you energy! So does licking a nuclear fuel rod, you say, and that's not healthy. Granted.
But no one's introduced a sugary-cereal mascot for decades, not since Cookie Crisp's fat happy baker. (I think they realized they crossed the line with that one.)
In the old days you had basic cereals that were aimed at adults who were perfectly capable of adding sugar, thank you, and a few grim, joyless brands aimed at old men who believed that economic problems were
(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...
Anybody remember, “come home when the street lights come on.”?
They must be talking about "Colon-Blow" cereal, brought to us by the folks at SNL.
They must be talking about "Colon-Blow" cereal, brought to us by the folks at SNL.
I happened to be cukoo for cocoapuffs
I can remember when Kellogg’s “Corn Pops” cereal used to be called “Sugar Pops”; and when “Super Golden Crisp” used to be called “Super Sugar Crisp”
Wow, was I living too high on the hog for this..resident.
Yep! My parents also had a whistle that they'd use to call us home for supper.
"High Fructose Corn Syrup Pops" and "Super High Fructose Corn Syrup Crisp" failed in test marketing.
We had cows that needed milking.
That was our clarion call to be home.
“In 2045, breakfast will be a rutabaga dipped in warm marrow. Maybe they’ll call them Root Loops. But it just won’t be the same.”
Organic Free-Range marrow, I hope.
Hilarious article, thanks for posting.
My first thought was: “Wow, what a GREAT idea! Why didn't I think of that? This kid might be a genius!”
But then my “Dad genes” kicked in and I had to tell him that too much chocolate and sugar at one time wouldn't be good for him. He was disappointed but he understood.
Later, after he went to school, I discovered that the combination was every bit as delicious as it had sounded...
That is such a cute story. My son refuses to drink milk..chocolate or otherwise, but he loves Yoo-Hoos...go figure.
There weren’t too many cows in Detroit when I was growing up.;-)
See Ag Secy. Tom Vilsack’s remarks to the Restaurant Association the other day.
“America’s tastes WILL have to be changed, and you WILL be our partners in helping to achieve this”.
What say you, Hermain Cain, former President of the aforementioned organization?
“Later, after he went to school, I discovered that the combination was every bit as delicious as it had sounded...”
LOL
LOL! One of the great SNL spoof-commercials!
Or what was it Denis Leary said: “I eat so much f’ing fiber, my colon is the strongest muscle in my body! I could pass Elvis through my colon!” Or something to that effect....it was on “No Cure For Cancer”.
Is there a cereal without sugar, beside Grape Nuts? I did find Post Shredded Wheat without sugar. Instead it had butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT) - a suspected carcinogen - added for preservation’s sake.
Who’s going to preserve our lives? BHT is in many cereals and other supposedly for-human-consmption foods. I bet the executives at the food companies don’t feed that stuff to their kids or themaelves.
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