I must be living on a different planet. I have only met a few married men who are satisfied with their sex life, and they were married to quite “aggressive” women.
See what you have there is considered an AFC (Average Frustrated Chump). These guys probably know nothing about sex, how the mind IS sex, or anything important about female anatomy. Their wives are suffering and WILL cheat on them without remose or guilt.
“Aggressive” women are more fun to be married to. Of course if you get your technique down the wife will become “aggressive”. When sex for the woman is an exercise of tolerance they tend not to seek it, when they’re going to have as much fun as their man they’ll seek it, and everybody gets to be satisfied.