And, I'll don my flame retardant suit, here. I think that at some point children need to learn that not everyone has their best interests at heart. Does that mean that you let the older kids physically assault the younger ones? No. "Lord of the Flies" does not prevail.
However, helicoptering, zero tolerance, and insisting upon adult adjudication for every single "He called me a bad name" dispute got us, IMHO and in part, into the social mess that we're in now.
≤}B^)