Don't be too sure: I have observed that home-schoolers are just as prone to forming cliques and excluding others, and even bullying, as anybody else. And, indeed, a few homeschoolers I know can be downright snooty and rude when it comes to being around those "whose parents don't love them enough to home-school them."
As with any kid, a lot depends on the parents. For example, I'm aquainted with a home-school family whose kids turned out to be ring-tailed bastards in the "mean girl" mode (even the boys). And that's because their dad, and to some extent their mom, is like that.
I'm glad your kids have turned out so nicely; but you shouldn't paint with such a broad brush.
You know, “bullying” is nothing new despite what the idiot media would have you believe.
The DIFFERENCE is we have raised a generation of kids less able to cope with “bullying” and “self-esteem” issues.
Not to say there aren’t legit worries, but for the most part, the media have gone WAY overboard with this thing....
I think you hit the key point: much depends on the parents.
And, I'll don my flame retardant suit, here. I think that at some point children need to learn that not everyone has their best interests at heart. Does that mean that you let the older kids physically assault the younger ones? No. "Lord of the Flies" does not prevail.
However, helicoptering, zero tolerance, and insisting upon adult adjudication for every single "He called me a bad name" dispute got us, IMHO and in part, into the social mess that we're in now.
My professional office had about 2,000 active patients. Naturally, there was turn over among the patients....So...Over three decades I have known several thousand families.
There is a distinct difference between the children of homeschooling parents and those children who are institutionalized. This is only true if the child has been homeschooled from an early age. It does not apply to those government school “push-outs” who begin homeschooling in middle school or high school.
The institutionalized child answered my questions with grunts, monosyllables, or merely nods of the head. Then there was the 20 degree off-centered stare. Yes, there were a few exceptions.
The homeschooled children, in contrast, were openly friendly and engaging. They answered in complete sentences. Told jokes and laughed at my jokes. And..( Most important) They looked me straight in the eye. There were NO exceptions to this in 28 years of practice.
Yes, the above is anecdotal, just as your example is. I seriously doubt though that any “professional” educator will do any controlled studies on the phenomena. The results would put teachers out of a job.
>>Don’t be too sure: I have observed that home-schoolers are just as prone to forming cliques and excluding others, and even bullying, as anybody else. And, indeed, a few homeschoolers I know can be downright snooty and rude when it comes to being around those “whose parents don’t love them enough to home-school them.” <<
I belong to four homeschooling groups, work with Public School kids and do many activities with both.
There are exceptions to every rule and as you are stating here, it’s not how kids interact with adults but how they interact with peers that I am viewing. Some kids, no matter where they are educated are snooty and rude. However, in a given situation you will find that the group that know each other will cling to each other.
The thing to look for is how the excluded child handles that situation. I have found that Public School children either throw a fit, pout or act out. Homeschooled kids gravitate to the adults or younger children. They don’t have a problem with either because that’s what they have been exposed to. They adapt. That is a learned skill not taught in school.