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Chuck Norris Becomes Texas Ranger Captain Today
WOAI ^ | 12/2/10 | Jim Forsyth

Posted on 12/02/2010 7:41:54 AM PST by laotzu

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1 posted on 12/02/2010 7:41:57 AM PST by laotzu
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To: laotzu

Now just put Chuck on the border Crouched in an “attack” position...... Border problems Solved!!! LOL


2 posted on 12/02/2010 7:44:49 AM PST by jakerobins
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To: laotzu

Chuck Norris knows no fear…but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.


3 posted on 12/02/2010 7:45:20 AM PST by mountn man (The pleasure you get from life, is equal to the attitude you put into it.)
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To: laotzu

Chuck Norris can divide by zero....

Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s secret....


4 posted on 12/02/2010 7:45:33 AM PST by sharkshooting
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To: laotzu

Great, a fake Ranger can now shill for the fake preacher/conservative.

I’m ready for something real.


5 posted on 12/02/2010 7:50:26 AM PST by t-dude (Sarah causes banal and vituperous evil snarks to shriek in horror!)
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To: sharkshooting
Chuck Norris IS Victoria's secret.
6 posted on 12/02/2010 7:51:27 AM PST by mountn man (The pleasure you get from life, is equal to the attitude you put into it.)
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To: laotzu

When an episode of “Walker Texas Ranger” was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.


7 posted on 12/02/2010 7:51:41 AM PST by Dahoser (Separation of church and state? No, we need separation of media and state.)
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To: laotzu

Q: Why does February only have 28 days?

A: Because Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked two days in order to hasten Springtime.


8 posted on 12/02/2010 7:52:45 AM PST by Salvavida (The restoration of the U.S.A. starts with filling the pews at every Bible-believing church.)
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To: laotzu

Great.

But can be hit Giants pitching?


9 posted on 12/02/2010 7:53:47 AM PST by EyeGuy (RaceMarxist Obama: The Politics of Vengeance)
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To: laotzu

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed, because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.


10 posted on 12/02/2010 7:54:01 AM PST by mountn man (The pleasure you get from life, is equal to the attitude you put into it.)
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To: jakerobins

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.


11 posted on 12/02/2010 7:54:06 AM PST by plinyelder ("I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born." -- Ronald Reagan)
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To: Salvavida

Mexican 5 Peso coin ?


12 posted on 12/02/2010 7:54:11 AM PST by Eric in the Ozarks (Impeachment !)
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To: plinyelder

If Batman and Darth Vader were in a fight, the winner would be Chuck Norris.


13 posted on 12/02/2010 7:56:20 AM PST by Zarro (Hands off Our Junk!)
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To: plinyelder

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.


14 posted on 12/02/2010 7:56:24 AM PST by mountn man (The pleasure you get from life, is equal to the attitude you put into it.)
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To: laotzu
"I make my living in the movies, but for the past 20 years I've also been a cop..."

Oops, wrong guy!

15 posted on 12/02/2010 7:57:16 AM PST by Yo-Yo (Is the /sarc tag really necessary?)
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To: t-dude

Who is the fake preacher/conservative?


16 posted on 12/02/2010 7:58:17 AM PST by Bodleian_Girl (Play, ya pay.)
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To: t-dude
I'm ready for something real

You do appreciate the irony of posting that statement on an internet chatroom under a pseudonym, right?

17 posted on 12/02/2010 8:01:53 AM PST by Mr. Lucky
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To: laotzu
Mange says they'll have to be satisfied with certificates.

No, Chuck Norris will NOT be satisfied with a piece of paper.

Tela Mange will be round-housed until she pins the real thing on his chest.

18 posted on 12/02/2010 8:02:45 AM PST by Slyfox
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To: laotzu

Only Chuck Norris knows what is in the beyond of Bed,Bath and Beyond.....


19 posted on 12/02/2010 8:03:47 AM PST by Kimmers (Tell a lie often enough it becomes political........)
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To: Yo-Yo

Don’t even mention anything about that wife beating, woman assaulting, piece of S#!T on a thread about Chuck Norris.


20 posted on 12/02/2010 8:04:24 AM PST by mountn man (The pleasure you get from life, is equal to the attitude you put into it.)
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