Wearing smelly clothing is one possible idea. But spitting water at them will get you arrested.
When flying to Cleveland, wear a pink suede jock, and tell them you’re on your way to the Cleveland Clinic. That you have a horrible STD, caught in Africa, that is complicated by a flesh-eating bacteria.
Smelly clothes won’t smell so good once you’re on your flight and next to some stranger who is now offended by your “hygiene.”