[The Comedian]

So my question, how safe is my investment, in the coming global crisis, when I’m dead from the mob of starving desperate bandits?

Rule #1: Cardio - stay ahead of the zombie horde.

Rule #2: Double Tap - If you have to shoot, don't cheap out on bullets.

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

[2ndDivisionVet]

That’s why .22 will be king, no matter what anyone says.

[egannacht]

Laughing my arse off. I saw Zombieland last weekend. Great movie but I cried when Bill “who cried when old yaller died” Murray was surprised.