How inappropriate on your part considering this article was about a brave young woman that may've lost her life at sea (I hope she hasn't.)
It appears you have fallen victim to the very condition you encourage others to avoid...that of being a infantalized child.
Hopefully, you have many years left in your life to correct said condition. However, I get the impression you are well past puberty, probably well into adulthood, and possibly into or even beyond menopause (well, maybe not). My suggestion is that you spend your remaining time on earth making an effort to...grow up.