Do they have a box labeled “White Christian Heterosexual Married”??????
Because you have DARED to ask a hetero-normative question which could conceivably cause emotional distress to racial, sexual and religious minorities, you have been classified as a HATE CRIMINAL and will be immediately arrested for transport to your area's nearest Diversity Reeducation Gulag, where you will begin an open-ended stay under close supervision, heavy psychotropic medication and severe disciplinary oversight.
Please immediately sign over all of your personal assets to Government control, remove all articles of clothing, wear only a cheap hospital gown and stand outside your front door patiently as you wait for Diversity Police Pickup.
Be advised that failure to comply with these instructions or any abusive language directed at Diversity Police representatives will result in additional criminal charges against you and a dramatically-escalated disciplinary focus.
Thank you for your cooperation.