[outpostinmass2]

Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there’s nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Six-car
Monorail!
What’d I say?

Ned Flanders: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: What’s it called?

Patty+Selma: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: That’s right! Monorail!

[crowd chants `Monorail’ softly and rhythmically]

Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...

Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.

Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?

Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.

Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?

Lyle Lanley: You’ll be given cushy jobs.

Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?

Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I’m on the level.

Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.

Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.

I swear it’s Springfield’s only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

All: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: What’s it called?

All: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: Once again...

All: Monorail!

Marge: But Main Street’s still all cracked and broken...

Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!

All: Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!

[big finish]

Monorail!

Homer: Mono... D’oh!

[Leisler]

"...if we can get funds for..
Taxes

"..We could also subsidize riders ..."
Funny.

[Atlas Sneezed]

if we can get funds

---

Simple solution:
Write a business plan.
Find investors.
Build it.

[goldstategop]

The original Disney Monorail still runs. But that's only because the park has a built in riding market and it services Disney hotels outside the park's boundaries. In the real world, trains have to be government subsidized. No rail system anywhere in the world turns a profit.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find only things evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelogus

[Red Badger]

virtually nonpolluting......there’s an ignorant statement right there.............

[The Duke]

It was on-time, efficient, all-electric, virtually nonpolluting...

I'm amazed to hear that the electrical power plant that supplied the electricity to power this vehicle didn't produce any pollution(!)

I wonder if they also produce perpetual motion?

[toast]

The element of light rail and monorails that makes them attractive is right-of-way. They don’t have to wait for traffic lights, stop signs, or traffic jams. The inside of these forms of transport aren’t that different than an ordinary bus. The efficient way to run a transit system would be to build roads dedicated only to buses and emergency vehicles. They would have over/under passes at cross streets and possibly be built next to old railroad right-of-ways.

There is one in Minnesota that runs between the St. Paul and Minneapolis campuses of the University of Minnnesota. I have ridden it. It is really fast and convenient. The buses are not limited to stopping at stations. They can go out around neighborhoods and pick-up passengers then get on the dedicated bus route.

Buses are cheaper than rail cars, more flexible, and easier to maintain. All that is needed is right-of-way.

[Right Wing Assault]

virtually nonpolluting

No, you're just moving the pollution to the people near the power plant that generates the electricity to run the thing.

[bmwcyle]

The government is broke.

[Ro_Thunder]

We’ve got an electric ‘trolley’ in Houston. It’s ground level, with overhead wires. The problem is, it runs right through the middle of the medical district, into downtown. The route is fine - except traffic is impeded, and we’ve had hundreds of accidents.

IF the people who work for Houston MTA would have done the right thing they would have made it an elevated system. Why? Over 100 people would be alive, and many more would not have had accidents with these trains (causing repair bills for us taxpayers).

Additionally, in case no one knew this, we get monsoon type rains in Houston occasionally. When this happens (oh, a dozen times a year or so), the streets flood. And the trains cannot run then. Great use of taxpayer money there, too.

[GonzoGOP]

Forty years ago, I rode the "South Shore" daily, about 50 miles into downtown Chicago. It was great. It was on-time, efficient, all-electric, virtually nonpolluting and was safe, and I didn't have to drive the Dan Ryan Expressway.

It is interesting that the Author lists the South Shore as an example of things done right. Because the reason that of the hundreds of electric interurban railroads that once connected almost every American city, only the South Shore survives to this day is that it was built to standards that allowed for the transportation of standard railroad freight cars. It was the movement of freight that paid for the track and maintenance. This in turn allowed for the passenger service to be operated by NICTD at relatively low cost.

A monorail by definition is completely incompatible with standard freight movement either by truck or by rail. All facets of the construction, operation, and maintenance would need to be 100% government funded.

New transport solutions need to be ones that compliment, rather than duplicate, existing non-government transportation assets.

[TC Rider]

Yet the Vegas Monorail, where tourists are desparate for any alternative to walking the strip, is going broke.

Then there was that ‘break in’ period where pieces and chunks of it kept falling to the ground below.