Posted on 09/02/2009 5:45:31 AM PDT by GoldStandard
My mom liked bed without dinner as a punishment. She also liked to tell me when that punishment was laid out that dinner would have been fish sticks and mac & cheese (my favorite) if only I hadn’t been such a pain. Marines know how to punish people.
Unfortunately, kids get away with a lot these days because everyone is so afraid of getting sued, their kids taken away, etc... I’ve heard and witnessed way too many horror stories not to be cautious to the extreme myself. Sometimes a good swift whack on the backside is the only way to get through to an unreasonable child, but in public that will get your kids taken away in a heartbeat. Dealing with DHHS anywhere is demoralizing, almost impossible, and wholly ridiculous to the point of being unrealistic. I believe the best term would be egregious and quite possibly cost prohibitive.
at any rate, people are trepidacious because of this, and rightly so. this just adds to the problem and creates the perception you have formed (regardless of if it is founded or not, which is not what I’m getting at in this discussion).
I certainly see your point, I’m just trying to state the position many parents are put in. Some on this thread have acted as though parents go out of their way to inconvenience others with their children being whiny and all. All I am saying is that in most cases its not overt and generally most parents I have witnessed in these situations react as I’ve described - deal with the child as well as possible in public, move on and get gone (usually). Not everyone fits that mold and certain cliques/locales may be worse than others. No easy answers, and some people are just terrible parents no matter what anyone says - I just like to believe they are a very small minority.
“No easy answers, and some people are just terrible parents no matter what anyone says - I just like to believe they are a very small minority.”
I used to look at folks with tired (and therefore whiny) kids at the store at 11 pm as being terrible parents. 11 pm is almost after MY bedtime. But, nowadays I figure Mom just got off the second shift, picked the kids up from daycare/grandma’s, is dead tired herself, etc. and feel sad for them instead of mad.
I sure fear of CPS and lawsuits plays into it. I know plenty of parents that basically live in fear of somebody misinterpreting what they do with their kids and sicking the government on them.
But I think on a bigger level we have a chunk of society that’s forgotten that sound travels. We’ve got cars with booming stereos, people loudly discussing their sex lives on cellphones, and what I think is an increase in undisciplined kids. And there tends to be a pretty solid age group for all this behavior, teen through 30, somewhere around 30 they seem to be realizing there isn’t a cone of silence around them so maybe they should tone it down a little.
Lucky you. I usually have to say “Stop laughing!” to the passers-by. :p
No one enjoys a crying kid, but I’ve NEVER had the urge to slap one. You sound like a real loser.
I missed the whole pregnancy!! Congratulations! :)
You’re a SAINT.
Thanks! :) She’s a lot of fun so far.
Good call. :)
Name?
Evelyn :)
No doubt there is an increase in fatherless children and hence some increase in lack of discipline/guidance. What that level is I can’t say for certain, but there seems to be an increase; I’ll give you that. I realized that I wasn’t the center of the universe somewhere around 17 - 20 (my son was born when I was 17 and that had a dramatic effect on my life). I subsequently gained much more respect for others at around 25 (not sure what exactly caused the switch to flip, but it did. I generally believed 25 was the age where most people had attained enough maturity that they actually weren’t mostly idiots* anymore, 30 may be the new 25 in that respect. Some people mature more quickly than others - all sorts of things play into that (I don’t think anyone really understands that well enough to proclaim any level of expertise on the matter). I know that my parents would’ve been put away for some of the punishments I received, but I’m quite sure I deserved every punishment I got and then some.
* when I say idiots I mean rude, selfish, obnoxious, or generally idiotic and careless.
I used to look at folks with tired (and therefore whiny) kids at the store at 11 pm as being terrible parents. 11 pm is almost after MY bedtime. But, nowadays I figure Mom just got off the second shift, picked the kids up from daycare/grandma’s, is dead tired herself, etc. and feel sad for them instead of mad.
Realizing the dichotomy (if that is even the proper term) is most of the battle in my opinion. It could be either or, but it doesn't always have to be a bad parent - it could be a good parent stuck in a bad situation. It could also be a parent dealing with a child that won't sleep and wants to be active, where a trip to the store may actually calm them down, or cause enough exertion to change the kid's attitude. this is all easy to say and look reflective, the hard part is remembering to think intelligently rather than reflexively in an annoying situation - or one that could be.
You know, generally somebody else’s screaming kid doesn’t bother me one bit. If it went on for a long period of time it might get annoying (can’t say because I’ve never gotten there in any similar situation), but I usually feel two things in that situation - neither of them anger. The first thought I get is, wow, I’d hate to have to deal with that (because I know what it can be like). Secondly, I tend to want to help, not get upset. When it’s my child on the other hand and I’ve been dealing with it for more time than I care to (kids go through whiny phases or crying stints), then I get annoyed with it after it occurs several times a day. I think most parents tend to feel the same way.
It’s a lot easier to detach from a crying child that isn’t yours to deal with (you don’t feel the social pressure to quiet/deal with someone else’s child since they aren’t your responsibility). Most people that get annoyed with crying children that they can easily escape have probably never had them, could be having a bad day, or are just plain cranks to begin with (like the subject of the originating post).
At any rate I knew you were joking immediately when I saw the screen name, although I’m quite sure I wouldn’t qualify for sainthood in your book anyway (not that I was vying for it).
Pretty name. Enjoy her. They don’t stay little long.
Actually, I’ve worked doing childcare, so I think I know something about it.
I don’t know where you are that babysitters make more than the minimum wage.
It doesn’t have to be Walmart — there isn’t one anywher near me — I don’t think parents realize how unpleasant it is for the children to be dragged to big crowded places.
What I see all the time is people using their children to express their (the parents’) aggression.
If you had ever been to a place where children are well-behaved (I have) you’d know how unnecessary all this is.
It’s not a lot different from having a dog. re the bahavior in public.
Sure have felt like slapping the child and the parent as well for not controlling the situation, but of course can’t.
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