Posted on 06/06/2009 8:40:05 AM PDT by Niuhuru
I’m going to take poison. Every time I read the headlines, I want to take poison. Always they are a concentrated tale of avarice, wretched judgment, murderousness, and lugubrious taste. I’m thinking potassium cyanide. To sleep, perchance to dream….
Headlines: “Chrysler Heads Back to Bankruptcy Court Friday”; “Crash Diet: GM Getting in Shape for Chapter Eleven”’ “Economy Sinks at a 5.7 Percent Rate in 1Q.”
We’re a Second World country and working on Third, I tell you. We probably won’t be ale to make our own cars before long. The economy is croaking. So what we need to do is have a lot of expensive foreign wars. Anybody can see it. You can’t run your own country? Then kill a bunch of thirteenth-century peasants. That’ll fix it.
I think I may have to take over the economy. Yes, I hear you asking, “Fred, what arrogance, even by your vertiginous standards. You aren’t an economist. What makes you think you know anything about economics?”
To which I reply, “What makes you think economists know anything about economics? Who got us into this mess, me or economists? I have never bought anything on credit in my life, and I have zero debt. Would you rather have me running things, or economists?”
Headline: “North Korea Tests Missiles.” Oh good. North Korea has the Bomb and, now, missiles of short range. Short is how long the range is to Seoul and the American bases in South Korea. Bad juju, says my astute military mind. And so Hillary Clinton, former First Housewife turned Millie Metternich and expert on all things foreign, wants sanctions against North Korea. This makes perfect sense. They’ve got nuclear weapons, so let’s piss them off. Sanctions will have no effect on their Bomb, but may make them desperate enough to use it. What could be a better idea?
Remember when George W. Huffenpuff was never going to let the malignant Northerners have the Bomb? No, indeed. He was going to pyong their yang if they even thought about it. That worked, didn’t it? Now President Blackbush is making threatening noises at Korea as if he could do anything about it. He’s going to make those heathen behave, and put the cost on the national credit card with the Bank of China.
Headline: “Army Chief: US Can Fight N. Korea if Necessary.” Yes. General George Casey, Army chief of staff, says we’re ready. In the accompanying photo he has the daft look of a Moonie Boy Scout. I have thought that officers must be issued some form of psychological disturbance when they sign up. Anyway, the US economy is rattling its death rattle, industry either leaves the country or goes tits sunward, America is now the world’s greatest debtor nation, and this dazed silver-haired bull dog wants another war. Why? What’s wrong with the wars we’ve got?
Headline: “Israel Dismisses US Demand on Settlements.” I guess that doesn’t leave much doubt about who controls Washington. Israel, being utterly dependent on the United States for its existence, is the one country that Washington should be able to dictate to. If the US were an independent country, and told the Knesset to wear tutus and toe shoes, in ten minutes they’d be grunting their way through Swan Lake. I don’t know, though. Given how the US manages its own foreign policy, I can see why the Israelis might not be enthusiastic about American suggestions.
Headline: “Senator Lautenberg: US Won’t Be Upset if Israel Strikes Iran.” Well, Senator Lautenberg, presumably an Arab, won’t be upset. But with which Americans has he consulted? Me? I guess I missed his call.
Real answer: He has consulted with Congress, 535 commoditized temple monkeys pawing through the ruins of America in search of bribes. The bicameral whorehouse on Capitol Hill works like a vending machine. You put coins in the slot, select your law, and the desired legislation slides out.
Thing is, Israel can’t attack Iran without an American OK, which Iran knows, so that puts us at war with Iran, and our Iraqi colony shares a long border with Iran, while Israel doesn’t. Something to think about. Should we ever take up thinking.
Headline: “Study: Israeli Attack on Iran Unlikely to Work.” If I were an Israeli, I’d worry about that too. Right now, Iran and Israel are making unpleasant noises at each other, but no more. What if Israel, that least Jewish of countries, attacks but doesn’t kill Iran’s nuclear program? Bombing is an act of war. It would give Iran every moral and legal right to bomb back with anything it had, or might make soon. Kerblooey.
Both America and Israel are accustomed to attacking countries that can’t hit back. There is such a thing as getting too comfortable.
Headline: “White House: Solomayor Says She Chose Word Poorly.” She is Blackbush’s choice for the Supreme Mausoleum. Court, I meant. Apparently what she said was that a “wise Latina woman” would reach better decisions than “a white male.” Oh. Then why have a Supreme Court at all? We could just replace it with a wise Latina woman. I wonder who she has in mind.
My thought was, oh god, more smug misandry. More man-bashing from an angry brown female who doesn’t know how her car works. I’m happy with Latinos on the Court, or –as, or women or blacks or Jews. But not another wielder of mortal boredom, blathering about white males.
See why cyanide appeals?
Headline: “Pakistani Army Retakes Largest Town in Swat Valley.”
Once more we see the iron claws of the Pentagon digging at the eyeballs of backward countries. Have we no shame? (No.) We want the gas of the Caspian Basin so we invade Afghanistan, yelling and honking about democracy and terror. Next we start murdering Pakistanis from the air with really fun drones, and now we force the Pakis to kill their own people. This is the Southeast Asian paradigm. We killed a million Vietnamese for no particular reason, savaged Laos, brought Pol Pot to power, and then went home to swim at Malibu. Iran, however, is a rogue country.
New headline, just popped up: “Gates: Nuclear Armed North Korea Not Acceptable.” What the hell does that mean? They are nuclear-armed. You either nuke them, invade them, or accept them. Which? Anything any country does is acceptable unless you are prepared and able not to accept it. Fizzing and blowing serves only to advertise impotence.
Headline: “Swine Flu in Ecuador.” I guess that explains why it isn’t in Mexico: It’s somewhere else. For weeks Mexico has been standing on its head to repel the dread epidemic. Schools closed, bars closed, public events were canceled, the government handed out little masks. No flu. I’m thinking of importing a case and charging people to look at it. It would be a bigger draw than a three-headed goat. We have yet to see a case of flu.
I can’t stand it. I’m off to Farmacia Guadalajara for something deadly. There are limits.
Return the country to the people and they will fix it. Leave it in the hands of politicans of today and they will drive it into the ground. One of our problems is all the Czars that answer to no one but Obama.
“I’m going to take poison”
Oh no you’re not. Refuse to be a victim. Get up and fight like a FReeper.
Fred used to be able to write decent, lucid column. Apparently, moving Mexico has caused a bit of a decline. This is some of the worst output I think I’ve ever read from him.
“Clarence, this is stupid stuff.
Mithradites; he died old.”
Uh, I didn’t write this, Fred did.
This paragraph convinces me that the author is an ignoramus at best. Let's consider his points one by one:
We want the gas of the Caspian Basin so we invade Afghanistan, yelling and honking about democracy and terror.
The United States invaded Afghanistan after terrorists operating from that country murdered 3000 of our citizens. There was no need to yell or honk about terror: we all saw it for ourselves. (It was on TV and in all the papers; I am surprised that Mr. Reed missed it.)
Next we start murdering Pakistanis from the air with really fun drones . . .
Which Pakistanis does the author have in mind? If he means the Taliban and their supporters, then I would say they are legitimate targets for what they have done to the people of Afghanistan, Pakistan, and the United States.
. . . and now we force the Pakis to kill their own people.
The Pakistani government needs no encouragement from us to kill the Taliban forces that are bent on overthrowing it.
This is the Southeast Asian paradigm. We killed a million Vietnamese for no particular reason, . . . .
No particular reason? We tried to stop the spread of communism in Southeast Asia. It was a noble cause. It might have worked too if the Left in our country had not been hellbent on securing a communist victory.
. . . savaged Laos. . .
No, that was the communists. The one thing communists excel at is savaging countries.
. . . brought Pol Pot to power. . . .
Once again, that was the communists-- aided and abetted by the Left in our own country.
. . . then went home to swim at Malibu. . . .
Alas, many good men never got the chance to return home or swim in Malibu. This writer cheapens their sacrifice.
Nothing is ever willingly given back. Sometimes things can be recovered, though.
Fred! Don’t take poison! The New World Order is in charge, and while they think they are following their agenda, they’re really following the one in the Bible. And we win! It’s a Happy Ending!
Join us, if you haven’t already.
“Uh, I didn’t write this, Fred did.”
My bad.
Although he's always singing the praises of life in Guad (with his Mexican "wife" and her daughter), when he needed a corneal transplant earlier this year Johns Hopkins got the nod. Whatever good the procedure did or didn't do, with it comes to U.S. foreign policy his vision's still 20/200, and the lovable-old-curmudgeon act is wearing very thin indeed.
Past my bedtime. 'Night, all.
I daresay someone is a wee bit tetchy. :)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.