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EDITORIAL: Bin Laden is dead, again
The Washington Times ^ | May 1, 2009 | Editorial

Posted on 04/30/2009 6:33:58 PM PDT by Abakumov

Osama bin Laden is dead, according to Pakistan's President Asif Ali Zardari. This week he stunned the world with the exciting news that Pakistan's intelligence services have "obviously" concluded that bin Laden "does not exist any more, that he is dead."

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtontimes.com ...


TOPICS: Editorial; Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: binladen; manhunt; obl; osama; osamabingone; pakistan; terrorism; zardari
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To: Rushmore Rocks

Thanks for the ping RR.


41 posted on 04/30/2009 6:48:01 PM PDT by Cindy
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To: Abakumov
Our counry is SAVED!!!

Oh wait...was that Osama or...

42 posted on 04/30/2009 6:48:01 PM PDT by DrewsDad (Did he say hope and change or rope and chains?)
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To: Keith in Iowa

Beat me by TEN SECONDS!


43 posted on 04/30/2009 6:48:09 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (GMTA!)
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To: irish guard

NOT


44 posted on 04/30/2009 6:48:41 PM PDT by irish guard
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To: Abakumov

look at the breaking news column.


45 posted on 04/30/2009 6:48:44 PM PDT by dep (how about next time we don't nominate someone who apologizes for being there)
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To: sionnsar
"He’s not dead, he’s merely pinin’ for the fjords.

THIS IS AN EX-PARROT OSAMA!!

46 posted on 04/30/2009 6:49:41 PM PDT by Mad Dawgg (will work for bailout bonus.... Twitter: maddawggmorgan)
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To: Abakumov

as stated by some one else - when Obama is found dead you can rest assured of one thing - the people to announce it will NOT be in the Pakistani govenment.


47 posted on 04/30/2009 6:50:21 PM PDT by plain talk
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To: Abakumov

No. I think he’s recovering at a friends compound in Florida or possibly having an extended visit at Hugo’s palace :>}


48 posted on 04/30/2009 6:50:42 PM PDT by cva66snipe (Two Choices left for U.S. One Nation Under GOD or One Nation Under Judgement? Which one say ye?)
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To: Mad_Tom_Rackham; Abakumov
But, is he really, most sincerely dead?

     A customer enters a pet shop.

     Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

     (The owner does not respond.)

     Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

     Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

     Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

     Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

     Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

     Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

     Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

     Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

     Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

     Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

     Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

     Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

     Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
     show...

     (owner hits the cage)

     Owner: There, he moved!

     Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

     Owner: I never!!

     Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

     Owner: I never, never did anything...

     Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

     (Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

     Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

     Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

     Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

     Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

     Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
     ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

     Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

     Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

     Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

     Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
     first place was that it had been NAILED there.

     (pause)

     Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
     VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

     Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

     Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

     Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
     rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
     bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

     (pause)

     Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
     we're right out of parrots.

     Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

     Owner: I got a slug.

     (pause)

     Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

     Owner: Nnnnot really.

     Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

     Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

     Mr. Praline: Well.

     (pause)

     Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

     Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

Oh, btw, for Abakumov: welcome to FR

49 posted on 04/30/2009 6:50:42 PM PDT by markomalley (Extra Ecclesiam nulla salus)
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To: Abakumov

He was mowed down by Air Force One.


50 posted on 04/30/2009 6:51:52 PM PDT by windsorknot
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To: Abakumov
Pakistan's President Asif Ali Zardari? Isn't this the same guy who didn't think the Taliban was a problem?
51 posted on 04/30/2009 6:53:13 PM PDT by armymarinemom (My sons freed Iraqi and Afghan Honor Roll students.)
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To: Abakumov

The headline says “He’s Dead”, the article says “We have no clue whether he’s dead or alive”. Who writes this nonsense? Must be the same person who programs Bambi’s teleprompter for the Q&A sessions.


52 posted on 04/30/2009 6:53:13 PM PDT by Ellendra (Can't starve us out, and you can't make us run...Country folks CAN survive!!! -Hank Jr.)
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To: Admin Moderator; Lead Moderator
Can you change the title on the thread to match up with the original title in the Wash Times?

EDITORIAL: Bin Laden is dead, again


53 posted on 04/30/2009 6:53:33 PM PDT by markomalley (Extra Ecclesiam nulla salus)
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To: Keflavik76
He's been dead for years Jim.


54 posted on 04/30/2009 6:53:38 PM PDT by eyedigress
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To: dep
look at the breaking news column.

Hell, I'd do it myself if it didn't take 20 seconds to load every page, even with a 100mbps isp. Who put the valium in the server?

55 posted on 04/30/2009 6:53:45 PM PDT by glock rocks (You got a permit to carry that there virus, Senor Passing the Contageon that Americans won't?)
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To: Abakumov

These guys are all laughing at us as we are mired in our literalness. Of course he is dead physically. The debate, which appears to be over our heads, is whether he still “lives” through a thriving movement that he created. Thus, it is “between fact and fiction”.


56 posted on 04/30/2009 6:53:54 PM PDT by dinoparty
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To: Abakumov

In other news, General Francissimo Franco is also still dead.


57 posted on 04/30/2009 6:53:59 PM PDT by WhistlingPastTheGraveyard
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To: Abakumov

Call me skeptical.


58 posted on 04/30/2009 6:54:20 PM PDT by rdl6989
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To: Abakumov
Yea!sure.All of a sudden Bin Ladin is dead.How long has he been dead?and when did the Pakistani Government know it?I think the Pakistani’s are just playing their games since their Intelligence services have been in contact with Bin Ladin for years.
59 posted on 04/30/2009 6:54:35 PM PDT by puppypusher (The world is going to the dogs.)
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To: Abakumov

Osama accomplished his goal of placing his man in the White House and then checked out. It makes perfect sense.


60 posted on 04/30/2009 6:54:35 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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