Posted on 04/21/2009 7:14:03 AM PDT by firehat
DISHONORABLE MENTION ©
YOU MAY EXPECTORATE WHEN READY
Norman Liebmann
Impeach Barack Obama - Nancy Pelosi will get the message.
Instead of a tea bag, to convey the proper anti-government sentiment, every tax return should contain a fecal enclosure.
Are the minorities planning to swap DNA in order to maintain their core constituency in further elections?
After seeing Walter Cronkite in his yachting attire, it is fitting that the captain should go down with his cap.
Anyone who doesn’t think Juan Williams needs help - needs help.
The American Navy’s victory over the SomaIi pirates has left Barack Obama emotionally beached. Incidentally, has anyone suggested calling these native pirates booganeers?
Avoid using vulgarity on the internet. The Prissy Police are everywhere.
Besides spending 25 years in the slammer, what did Nelson Mandela actually do for Humanity?
Obama has a half brother who is a criminal. (Probably, so does his half brother.)
The Obamas had a pizza party for 140 people. The delivery boy couldn’t get their order through Security - so he threw it on the White House lawn.
Mexican narcotic dealers are going to stop shipping real cocaine and substitute a generic. Mexico is the only place in North America where a pharmacist will fill a prescription written with a crayon.
Mexican President Felipe Calderon suggested we reduce the vast amount of marihuana in America. Obama explained our dopers are smoking it as fast as they can.
Michelle Obama has hired a full time hairdresser. We are told she can work miracles. That’s exactly what it will take.
Obama’s election meant the fix is in and the crucifix is out. Apparently “Barry” doesn’t realize that religion is better than no morality at all.
Queen Elizabeth ll ordered her Coldstream Guards to help her wedge the back of her throne under the knob of the Palace front door in case the Obamas decide to come back.
There are two elements to the Obama program - Squeezin’ and Treason.
There’s talk of putting Jimmy Carter in charge of Fannie Mae and changing its name to Habitat for Handouts. (Incidentally, we’re told carpenter Jimmy Carter sleeps with a hammer hanging from his pajama string. He says it saved his marriage.)
Why does Obama have to go to South and Central America to woo people who hate the United States? They already voted for him.
Madonna is determined to have black babies. If Obama’s mother can do it, anybody can.
Obama is returning from his world-wide, first-come first-serve, a-- kissing, white flag-waving apology tour. It’s an ugly start.
Whose idea was it to send Hillary Clinton to make peace in the Middle East? She doesn’t know a Bedouin from a bedpan.
In Central America the “N” word stands for Nicaraguan. Now, doesn’t everybody feel better?
The surviving Somali pirate is being sent east for trial. If there’s one thing the courts in New York do not need it’s another case involving a black, heavily-armed juvenile delinquent. The ACLU will take the position if he has his baseball cap on backwards he must be innocent. (There’s something odd about a beardless pirate. Apparently Captain Blackbeard took the day off so they sent the cabin boy.)
As an energy-saving measure, Obama will order the General Motors entry in the next Indy 500 to be a formula one tricycle.
As a gesture of good will, is it possible that Obama will send some of his Acorn thugs to Afghanistan in time to help the Taliban with the opium harvest? (Let’s hope Obama does not issue the Acorns nuclear weapons.)
Having given 900 million dollars to Hamas, who will mind the Obamas puppy when they send their children off to Gaza for terrorist training?
Do not expect a change of character among the Republicans in the Congressional elections of 2010. A coward is a coward is a coward.
The building of our southern border fence will end in a photo finish with the passage of amnesty.
Some Spanish speaking people pretend there is more than one kind of fascism in the Hispanic world. There isn’t.
Considering the intellectual crap he reads from it, shouldn't Obama’s speaking aid be called a teledumper?
Will water boarding be an event in the next Olympics?
After sucking up to Hugo Chavez, it remains only to decide what kind of yellow Obama is - amber, goldenrod, lemon, saffron, chiffon, or piss burnt yellow. As the saying goes, Obama goes to foreign tyrants like a sick puppy goes to its own vomit. (It is rumored, Obama and Chavez will get together to repeal the Monroe Doctrine between the other amateur acts in the Apollo Theater.)
If you can’t learn bad manners in college, you can’t learn them anywhere.
Liberalism has turned the Washington Monument into the Leaning Tower of Hypocrisy. Obama has demonstrated that rising above partisanship is not as easy as sinking below it.
Obama says Americans are arrogant - except for a brand of arrogance invisible to him that comes only in basic black.
Excrement is not measured by increment – except in Congress.
The last Asian that earned America’s respect was Sabu.
Apparently, toxic assets are created by toxic a--holes.
Obama will be remembered as “The Inventor of Collapsible Currency”.
How come Obama didn’t take Nazi Pastor Jeremiah Wright to Europe to deliver the next-to-the-last-rites for the Western world?
Obama returned in time to measure the progress of Tim Geithner’s “Stinkulus Plan”. That sinister little twerp, Geithner is another Hjalmar Schact – the guy who did the financial wheeling and dealing for Adolph Hitler.
At this year’s Rose Parade instead of The Rose Queen, Michelle Obama might ask to be crowned The Pigmentation Princess.
Obama can’t make up his mind whether to establish a National Suffocation Board, or a Global Stifle-ization Committee.
After Obama gets through maneuvering, the Guantanamo Jihadists will have a seat on the Security Council.
Are all black people alike, or are some more alike than others?
Tim Geithner is working on a plan to bail out the monarchy and fire the Queen. (Lincoln fired the plantation overseers and that ended slavery. Why didn’t Geithner think of that?)
Why is it in seeking those responsible for the calamitous condition at which California has arrived, the names Boxer and Feinstein never come up?
Considering the cultural characterization of basketball, I would not care if another slam ever got dunked.
A new movie version of Lewis Carroll’s classic is scheduled called Alice in Massachusettsland. Barney Frank will play the Cheshire Fag.
America could be saved by a short circuit in Obama’s teleprompter.
Does it occur to Madonna every time she pilfers a child in Malawi she’s chipping away at that nation’s future?
Diversity produces adversity. How about it?
Mexico is close to collapse. We are reminded “close” is only good in the game of horseshoes.
John McCain went on a sentimental journey back to the Hanoi Hilton, where he is getting a running start on his campaign to lose the next Presidential election and the next and the next ad infinitum…
Check out those pictures of that guy who killed thirteen people in upstate New York. Was he one of those white, blue-eyed people the President of Brazil said is making all the trouble in the world? Or did a safari pass though Binghamton?
The good ship Maersk Alabama was taking relief supplies to indigent Somalians. It’s odd to see natives on the dock begging with tin cups tied to the ends of their AK47s.
If Henry Waxman’s nostrils were a little narrower, he’d look like King Kong in heat.
Since he began traveling, Obama became known as “the cringing man’s President”.
The Obama administration represents taxation with defecation.
And this …
No matter how low Obama bows to foreign despots, Google will rule the world.
***
After seeing Walter Cronkite in his yachting attire, it is fitting that the captain should go down with his cap.
Judge Smails from Caddy Shack...
Another great article from the master. Norman, you’ve been my most favorite author for years (ever since Bubba was in office) and I relish reading every new article you write!
Keep them coming and God bless you!
Good to see you, Norm!
Good to see you again.
Good reparte for a Tuesday. It is Tuesday, right?
“I bet with a hat like that you get a bowl of soup.”
“I bet with a hat like that you get a bowl of soup.”
It looks good on YOU, though...
>Obama will be remembered as “The Inventor of Collapsible Currency”.
Best line ever.
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