Posted on 04/11/2009 10:44:45 PM PDT by Chet 99
“They did. After your post.”
I see that. I like the one about the parents “sacrificing” to live in an expensive, upscale, neighborhood in the Exburbs. They think they’re doing the kids some kind of favor by warehousing them while commuting 2 hours each way so they can pay the insane property taxes. Maybe they should consider, for a minute, living in a less toney neighborhood and spent some of that saved money putting the kids into a decent private school, or better yet, having the wife home school them instead of kissing up to the boss all day.
I had a similar situation where in 4th grade a bully held my kid’s hands on a hot radiator in the classroom enough to cause minor burns and a visit to the school nurse. The school did not bother to call me.
When I picked her up after school and saw the burns, I took her to an outpatient clinic for treatment then for ice cream to “fix” what ailed the inside :)
The next morning I drove her to school, walked her inside to the principal who of course knew nothing about the incident. They were inclined to just pass it off, whereupon I got noisy, in his face, and announced that if immediate, public, remedial consequences were not visited upon the offending child and the teacher and nurse who did not report the incident, then police were going to be called to arrest the child for assault.
They hated every moment of it, but they did take action, and I followed up with a report to the police to establish a record, a visit to the superintendent and the next school board meeting. The police went to the kid’s home and saw the principal at school for “a chat”.
I’m sure they didn’t really care about how my kid felt, but they did fear what I would do next.
It’s all about making the lives of the administrators uncomfortable enough that they take action.
December 20th, 2006
The summer I turned 6 years old, some of the neighborhood boys started bullying me. Back then, I owned a pair of cabbage patch kid roller-skates and my favorite activity was skating around the block singing nursery rhymes at the top of my lungs. One day, a few boys in the 8-10 range thought it would be pretty humorous to push me around and watch me flail. I tried to run from them, but I couldn’t skate faster than they could run. They taunted me for a while and then knocked me down. Angry, humiliated, and with two freshly skinned knees, I did what any 6 year old girl would do in my position.
I went home and told my Dad.
My Father was an ex marine and always preached the benefits of learning self defense. Unlike most parents, he had no interest in calling the parents of my bullies to ‘open up a dialogue’ or some other such tripe. Instead, he planned to teach me to kick a little ass.
My Mother balked at this idea. She didn’t think little girls should be fighting. Little girls were supposed to have tea parties and then play dress up. Fighting was for little boys.
“What if someday a vicious serial killer kidnaps her?” my Father asked, “Do you want her to die weeping and begging for her life? Or would you rather she have the courage to wrench the knife from the killer’s hand and stab him in the throat?”
He paused, mid tirade, and said to me, “If that ever happens, V, stab and twist. Stab and twist.”
With my Mother temporarily mollified, My Father took me into the back yard to teach me how to fight.
Nervously, I explained to my Father that not only was I outnumbered by the boys, but they were bigger and stronger than I was. There was no way that I could beat them. My Father merely brushed my fears aside. He said that while they had the advantage of size and strength on their side, I could develop my own advantages. Here are some tips that he gave me:
1. Always Respond to Threats with Complete Confidence
Sometimes all it takes to make a bully re-think pounding you into a pulp is to make it very clear to him exactly how unafraid you are of a physical confrontation. When a bully threatens you, he is trying to invoke in you some fear in which he can feed off of. If you respond to his threats with confidence, even eagerness, it will give him a pause. If he doesn’t chicken out right then and there, he will enter the fight with a slight feeling of unease. His apprehension is your advantage.
2. Fighting Dirty is Fighting Smart
A fist fight isn’t the same as a karate tournament with judges and points. Your opponent is trying to hurt you, so don’t let some silly moral argument prevent you from kicking the little bastard in the nuts. Throw sand in his eyes, kick him in the back of the knees, bite him, or punch him in the stomach hard enough to knock the wind out of him. If he’s got you pinned down and you happen to see a rock out of the corner of your eye? Don’t be afraid to grab that rock and smash his face with it. There is no shiny trophy waiting for you at the end of this fight, so everything goes.
3. Talk Some Shit
Nothing will rattle your opponent faster than you screaming a steady stream of shit at him while you’re engaged in combat. The crazier you sound the better. If you can’t think of anything tough to yell, yell nonsense like, “I’m going to eat your eyes!” If you can’t think of any nonsense to yell, just plain scream. The second your opponent suspects that you’re a freaking lunatic he’s going to get scared. Fear causes people to make mistakes.
4. When You Lose, Claim It Didn’t Hurt
Sometimes you’re just outmatched. But even losing a fight can be used to your advantage. When it’s over, feel free to spit blood in his face and tell him that it ‘didn’t hurt.’ Laugh when he walks away. You might have just gotten your ass kicked six ways from Sunday, but I guarantee you that anyone watching that fight will think twice about ever messing with you in the future. No one wants to fuck with the crazy kid who feels no pain.
Armed with my new tips and tricks, I laced up my skates and headed out to face the jungle that is childhood. When the boys confronted me again, I dared them to mess with me. One ballsy kid lunged towards me with the intent of pushing me down. Quickly, I kicked that kid squarely between the legs with my skate. He crumpled to the ground as I hysterically screamed at his friends, “I’LL EAT YOUR EYES! I’LL EAT ALL OF YOUR EYES!” Terrified, those boys got up and ran like Hell. I’ve never felt so empowered in my entire life.
In retrospect, I think my Father was just trying to teach me a little something about fear and courage. Back then, and even more so today, it became quite popular to advise your children to: Run. Hide. Look away. Go get someone bigger. Be afraid. As a result, modern children and adults alike are easily paralyzed by fear and have no idea how to defend themselves.
After reading certain articles on my website, I’ve even seen people comment, “What is she going to do if she says the wrong thing to the wrong person? She’s going to end up getting hurt or killed.”
I feel sorry for those people. So paralyzed by fear of what might happen, that they lack the courage to stand up for themselves or for someone weaker. I refuse to live my life afraid to say what I feel or do what is right because there might be some mysterious villain lurking in the shadows who is bigger and stronger. Better to be dead, than to live your life afraid.
Besides, I could just as easily spend my life acting meek and compliant only to still end up with a bullet in my head. However, because my Father taught me courage, it’s not likely that I’d go down without a fight. Who knows? I may even end up wrenching a knife from some psycho’s hands and stabbing him in the throat with it.
Of course, I’ll remember to stab and twist,
That was great. Thanks!
It is lower primate behaviour. While the memories of it are painful, it did prepare me better for the more subtle forms of it that show up in the Workplace or anywhere else. One cannot really hide from it forever.
That said, if I were currently raising children I would not place them in the Public Schools. It would be like entering a Bentley in a demolition derby.
Do you think more conservatives would like that than Democrats? I tend to think yes, but Dems do fight dirty...
If your post is addressing in part my post, I will remind you that on Free Republic, it is considered appropriate etiquette to ping posters on whose posts one comments.
I see that you replied to Arthur McGowan's post of, “They did. After your post.”
His post was in reply to another post of yours:
“Cannot argue that, although I’m surprised the bumper-sticker crowd hasn’t got their back up at you yet...like they always do to me.”
You then say of my post, “I see that. I like the one about the parents ‘sacrificing’ to live in an expensive, upscale, neighborhood in the Exburbs...”
Demonstrating little by way of reading comprehension, you evince misunderstanding of my post.
Let's first address the charge that my post is some sort of “bumper sticker” post. In fact, it's pretty much just the opposite of that sort of thing. It suggests that folks’ circumstances might not so easily be summed up by the bumper sticker mentality present in a statement like: “Parents who have their children in government school can be almost certain they do not love their children.”
Now let's address the misunderstandings evident in your post:
“I see that. I like the one about the parents ‘sacrificing’ to live in an expensive, upscale, neighborhood in the Exburbs.”
That isn't what I said. I ACTUALLY said:
“Often, folks will buy a smaller but more expensive house because the school district serving the neighborhood is considered to be superior. They are willing to pay more for less because they believe that they are obtaining the best education for their children.”
Notice what's actually said, as opposed to what you imagine was said. By way of example, there are very toney neighborhoods in Prince George's County, Maryland where you can buy a very, very large house for, say, mid- to upper six figures (not a high price for a house in the Washington area). These are beautiful neighborhoods. Houses with 5000, 6000, 8000 sq. ft. or even more. But the public schools in Prince George's County are generally very poor. People don't buy in these very toney neighborhoods for the schools.
There are also very toney neighborhoods in neighboring Montgomery County, Maryland, but the large, nice, toney, upscale homes there will easily cost well into the millions of dollars. Nonetheless, one can buy lower-priced, decent homes in Montgomery County, in much less toney neighborhoods, but that are still in the better school districts. You'll pay the mid- to upper six figures that buys a McMansion in nearby Prince George's County, but you'll wind up with a house that's perhaps 2000 or so sq. ft., maybe with a garage, maybe not, on a modest postage-stamp size lot.
Why would people buy much LESS house for the price? Because they are sacrificing for what they believe is the sake of their children's education. Some of the public schools in Montgomery County are nationally ranked, and strictly in terms of academics, they do a very good job.
Similar circumstances apply in my own county, Anne Arundel. The homes in my own school district are more expensive for less home than in next-door Prince George's County, but the public schools in my particular district are considered among the best in the county and even in the state.
People don't buy 30 year-old 1800 sq ft houses in my neighborhood for the same amount as a nearly-new 4000 sq ft five miles to the west in Prince George's County because they prefer older, smaller, darker, draftier homes to newer, larger, brighter, more pleasant homes. They do it because they're willing to sacrifice a whole lotta house for the chance to obtain a good education for their kids.
Whether these parents are right or not in figuring out what is best for their children, their motives are good, and their actions bespeak of sacrifice, not convenience or money-saving. That is love.
As well, you should also try to read Arthur McGowan's initial post more closely, in that he also takes to task folks who send their children to private schools:
“Parents who have their children in private school should seriously question whether they love their children. Same reasons.”
Thus, your advice here is rendered... inappropriate, at least according to the good priest:
“Maybe they should consider, for a minute, living in a less toney neighborhood and spent some of that saved money putting the kids into a decent private school,...”
Of course, I generally won't argue with this:
“...or better yet, having the wife home school them instead of kissing up to the boss all day.”
In that we homeschooled our older son 1st through 8th grade, and our younger son from pre-K through his current 7th grade so far, I think that homeschooling is often the best choice. I wish far more folks would take it up than currently do. I think that an average homeschool education beats even the most ideal “regular” school education in most cases.
I think that many people err when they assume that they couldn't homeschool. I think that many people err when they put a second income above homeschooling. Homeschooling has been a great blessing to my sons, my wife and myself.
I'm completely convinced that generally speaking, homeschooling is much better than “regular” schooling.
But I don't assume bad motives or intentions on the part of those that disagree with me. I don't assume that they don't love their children. I don't assume that they're lazy or greedy or inordinately place other needs or wants ahead of the educational needs of their children. Even when I disagree with the individual decisions of individual families, knowing their circumstances, I don't believe that they act out of bad intentions or motives, out of a lack of love.
I see folks make these decisions all the time, and from my perspective, some folks do seem to act in greedy or lazy ways, but most folks, not. I see a lot of folks struggling to do right by their kids, often agonizing about the educational choices they make for their children. I see a few folks make their decisions lightly and with little regard to the actual effects on their children, but mostly not.
As a Catholic homeschooler, I'd never send my sons to a public school. Ever. I personally spent three years in a prison..., uh,... a public school, and I swore I'd never do that to my own kids.
But not everyone agrees with me, and I'm unwilling to chalk up their disagreement to evil.
sitetest
That’s too long for me to read.
Ok, I’m reading it. I’ll comment in a bit.
********************
Conservatives. Definitely. Democrats don't want to live in a world where it is necessary to fight for one's life. Or so they often say.
I agree...saying that one doesn’t love their kids is a bit over the top.
It’s just been tough at times to have to deal with conservatives that have been roped in by the propaganda of the public schools. They have to defend the schools, or they would not be able to justify sending their kids there. So, the think that they are “involved” and have a say in things, and therefore little Johnny won’t turn out bad.
All the while, the schools are laughing behind their backs. And a simple way for parents to see just how much say they have over the schools is to start asking questions about curriculum (particularly new-age stuff, such as Everyday Math)...like how was it selected, show me that it works, etc. Those bumper-sticker parents will a complete change in tone - and will never be welcome again - unless they go back to smiling and just supporting the bake sales.
Great advice!
I am very sorry for your family’s loss. We were lucky to get our Will at the time we did. He suffered for years as a child from his dad’s abuse. In school the kid’s knew about his past home life & bullied him. It took love, rules & time to get him better. Now his life is going well. He is a dad to his own 3 children & he & his wife are foster parents . Some stories end better then others thankfully. Happy Easter ~Pandora~
I hear that. My daughter Sassy was in school last year & a hockey stick hit her in the lip. I just happened to call the nurse to see if she had been down for her inhaler treatment. The nurse was acting odd & she said Sassy was in her office right then. I asked to speak to her & said what is wrong & she told me my mouth is bleeding. I said I would send her step sister to get her. When the nurse got back on the phone she was rude & told me Sassy didn't need to leave school. I asked if she checked for loose teeth & she said that wasn't her job. My daughter was 8 then & I was very upset the nurse felt I didn't need a call. I got her home & to the dentist. She had a nasty cut to her mouth & gums. I fought with her school for 2 yrs over her health issues. Now I home school & we aren't needing inhalers & seeing the doctor each month.
If you ask me, it’s good advice for all ages.
Except when you’re armed, then it’s fire to center mass, empty weapon.
A boy in my fifth grade made a comment to me on my way home from school. I blackened his eye. He was in absolute shock.
He didn’t see it coming. This was on Holy Thursday, so we had the next week off.
I thought that my parents would be hearing from his parents, but he probably was too embarassed to tell them a girl gave him a shiner. Anyhow, nothing came of it. If it did, my parents would have defended me.
I apologize for the length, but your response required an in-depth reply.
sitetest
I have heard many times that bullying is something we should all just get over. Logic says it should work that way, but the scars are real. While I haven’t had any bullying issues as an adult (proving that being bullied isn’t a normal real world thing) on one level I still measure any successes or defeats on those scars.
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