Replies

“The individual can petition to have the original unsealed as soon as they reach 18.”

This may be true in your state, but it is NOT true in all states. Even in those states which an adoptee is permitted to petition simply “wanting to know” will NOT compel judge to open the records. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a judge to open adoption records in most states? I know several ATTORNEYS who can’t even get their own records opened - and they’re LAWYERS!!! There have been COUNTLESS cases of adopted children AND adults on DEATH’S DOOR and STILL the judges refuse...

“There is no attempt to hide information from the adopted individual...”

That is patently false. There is most DEFINITELY an effort to hide information from adoptees. Again only a handful of states will allow an adoptee access to their unaltered birth certificate, even as an adult.

I pray that when your son becomes of age, and that if he chooses to learn the truth that the judge you end up in front of is kind. 99.9% of them will NOT release his records — even if you are begging and pleading for his LIFE. I don’t wish to scare you but this is a REAL SITUATION that has happened to too many adoptive parents that I have personally spoken with.

Thank you for adopting your son, and thank you so much for being honest with him, Mom MD. That is the greatest gift (besides loving him and taking him in) that you could possibly give him.

But please recognize that in every state but a handful adoptees do NOT have access to their information without begging a JUDGE, or paying tremendous sums of money to investigators, or our adoption agencies. Heck, my adoption agency wants $500.00 from me to release my UNIDENTIFYING INFORMATION (like what nationality I am). THAT is akin to pure EXTORTION, IMO. I’ll gladly pay for xerox copies, but to charge me $500.00 to send me an abstract of my OWN personal information is NOT right. (Didn’t they get enough money from my adoptive parents when they adopted me in the first place???)

I just wanted to make sure people realize this...

I would also like to say — just to be clear on this — that I am NOT AGAINST (Heterosexual) adoption! I simply want the laws to respect the rights of ALL parties - and frankly, the rights of the ADOPTEE should trump ALL others in this case, especially once they become an adult.

Thanks again to everyone on this thread that has read through my posts, and has been compassionate when it comes to realizing how heart-wrenching these issues are for me to even talk about. I hope sharing my story will help others understand how some adoptees are treated as a result of these laws...