INCREDIBLE.
Thank you VERY much for taking the time to respond to my posts! I find your insight - especially as a licensed psychologist and a GOD & JESUS believing one (SO RARE!!!!) - worth it’s weight in gold.
I have worked on these issues in counseling. Still, there are times when the old wounds get ripped back open and I lash out, I wish I was better at NOT doing that, but I’ve come a VERY long way in the last TWENTY YEARS since I found out as a rebellious teen...
As I continue through life different situations, conversations, experiences, etc... bring new insights and understanding to me.
Please forgive me for not responding to some of your specific posts. I will be reading over them - MANY times - in the days to come, and will probably print them out to remind myself.
I’ve still got a LOT of work to do when it comes to forgiveness, you hit that nail right on the head! My personal situation - or so I’ve been told - is every adoption worker and birth mother’s nightmare, so I will readily admit that my experiences probably make me a bit more radical than other adoptees! (My adoptive father worked for the very newly developed DCFS as a CASE WORKER - my BIRTH MOTHER’S case worker, and according to the private adoption agency that was brought in immediately before my adoption was finalized have stated to me that my adoptive father committed fraud in various ways in order to get himself and my mother approved (she was sick and not expected to live past 30 years old according to all of her doctors — she was ALREADY 32 years old when I was adopted). Even as such, I don’t have ANY right to ANY recourse legally - and it’s not like some stupid decree in a court that would only tell me what I already know — that my adoptive father was a child predator, and used the system to his advantage — would help ANYTHING whatsoever! LOL It’s just NOT worth it. And seeing as he has Alzheimer’s now it’s not like he could even be taken to court even if all the statutes of limitation hadn’t expired.
Besides - it doesn’t matter if he is held accountable HERE in an imperfect system. I KNOW he will have to explain himself to GOD, and I trust HIM to know the truth about ALL - and HE can’t be fooled like some are by sociopathic liars (that’s not the right word is it??).
I HAVE accepted (I think) that there is NOTHING I can do to change my situation. Likewise, I recognize that ESPECIALLY now you’re right — it’s a MOOT POINT! I know that - really I do. And as you said, in the grand scheme of things, it ultimately doesn’t matter in comparison to some other things...
Again thanks for your input, I greatly appreciate it! I’m going to end here because I know I’m rambling again... :) Perhaps there are others like me lurking - I hope they are helped by this exchange as well...
A phrase that has served me well: “Everything happens for a reason”. Thanks again for reminding me that my experiences have helped make me who I am (the good parts and the not so good). I honestly WOULDN’T want it to be any different. Even with the pain... I know the LORD has not given me more than I can handle, and everything I have gone through has only made me that much stronger.
God bless you, Quix! I’m glad to be able to call you my friend. :)