BEEN MEANIN' TO ASK

In order to be considered a member in good standing of the Negro race do you have to have slave blood, or do you qualify if you live in a house that has plantation shutters?

Did Nadya Suleman who dropped eight babies at one clip go to a fertility clinic? Or is she a fertility clinic?

After being told that she had given birth to octuplets was Nadya Suleman’s first question to her doctor, “What’s the record?”

Now that the eight embryos have been dislodged, is the mother’s womb as empty as her head?

Wasn’t it just a matter of time until Iran agreed to a meeting with the Black Judas? And as a good will gesture, will Obama invite the Somali pirates to spend their next shore leave in Washington?

Now that Democrat Senator Debbie Stabenow has come out for the Fairness Doctrine can we dismiss her as just another “cupid stunt”?

Is there in contemplation a remake of the movie Jaws in which the great white shark is frightened away by Richard Dreyfuss’ overacting?

Is it true the White House will not host anyone who does not have slave blood? Or will an exception be made for anyone who has ever “toted a barge or lifted a bale”?

Does the relationship between Barack Obama and the media also fall into the category of “consensual sex”?

Wouldn’t it be interesting (or at least entertaining) if a laboratory test showed a perfect DNA match between Caroline Kennedy and Aristotle Onassis?

Wasn’t it Colin Powell who convinced George Bush Senior it was smart diplomacy to lose the war in Iraq at all costs?

If Obama appoints a dogcatcher to his Cabinet is there every possibility that he will choose Michael Vick?

Is Obama planning to kick off his campaign for a second term by promising to re-free the slaves?

Is it true that Leon Panetta who Obama appointed to head up the American Intelligence community thinks CIA spells cat? Who says he isn’t qualified?

Will Al Gore and Jesse Jackson get together on the conclusion that global warming caused slavery?

Is there some compensation in knowing that everything Teddy Kennedy does he could be doing for the last time?

Is Barack Obama the worst of all possible Presidents at the worst of all possible times in the worst of all possible ways?

Was that first guy to give birth to a baby proud enough to show the gang at the office his “stretch marks”?

Was George Bush Vicente Fox’s whore? Is Barack Obama George Soros’ whore? And is Al Gore the whore of anyone who will give him an award?

Is the reason that gang of crooks called their caper “a Brinks job” because none of them could spell “stimulus?”

Is it true that Barack (The Sky is Falling) Obama talks the talk of Chicken Little, but walks the walk of Cocky Locky?

With regard to the Obama slogan, “Change we can believe in”, what th’ hell does that mean?

In this Obama administration of “hope and change” will we open the vault in Fort Knox and find it contains nothing but hope and just enough change to feed a parking meter?

Is it another sign that global warming is pure crap that Jack Frost has one of those colds he can’t shake?

Did Nancy Pelosi get her experience as Speaker of the House of Representatives by herding geese?

Does the disastrous stimulus program give new impetus to the term “crash program”? And why not just call it “The Crime-ulus Program?”

With the economy going down the porcelain receptacle does anybody but Democrats believe Obama’s excuse that the handle accidentally got stuck in the flush mode?

Does Barack Obama saying “I won” signal the beginning of the Great White House "Gloat-In"? And does Obama’s repeating “I won” a tacit implication that America lost?

Good Housekeeping reports Michelle Obama’s nickname for her husband is “Pumski”. Is that Pwecious, or what? And at Barack’s State of the Union Speech will the Members of the Congress walk out when Michelle insists the Obama children first be allowed to sing?

Is the reason so many people object to the death penalty because you can only exact it once?

Now that Obama is considering legalizing Marihuana, can any thing that makes him feel good do anything but make the rest of us feel bad? And is the way to discourage the use of cocaine to convince people that it is high in calories? And do we want a bunch of fat junkies around?

Are they building the border fence with holes large enough to admit illegal aliens that apparently come in all sizes?

Will hybrid cars become more popular now that we’ve got a hybrid President? And now that Barack Obama is President will the people in the Inner city name their newborn babies “Motorcade”.

Is it too much to hope for that the last of the bedbugs brought into the Lincoln bedroom by the Clintons’ celebrity guests have finally gone back to Hollywood?

Is there a growing panic among Democrats that they might soon run out of Kennedys?

Does the fact that Barack and Michelle Obama despise America make all other considerations about them irrelevant?

Has Barack “Hussein” Obama convinced himself that the Arabs only behead people to relieve their migraines?

Are many film critics waiting for Sean Penn’s next movie so they use the term “mega flop”?

Do illegal aliens only shoplift in stores that have signs that read “Se hable graffiti”?

What can Rod Blagojevich possibly expose about Obama that isn’t already known?

If Thomas Edison who invented the phonograph anticipated rock ‘n’ roll, would he also have invented phonograph records that only played surface noise?

Now that the word has spread that Chinese food is contaminated, could this spell the end of “take out”?

Does Senator Mitch McConnell’s Republican Leadership performance bring back un-fond memories of Trent Lott’s political puppetry? (Trent Lott’s only gift was disguising cowardice as urbanity.)

If Ted Kennedy has something wrong with his brain why were his doctors the last ones to diagnose it?

Is the stimulus bill tantamount to chopping a hole in the bottom of a sinking canoe in order to let the water run out?

Are Obama’s stuttering, stammering, cliché-ridden speeches his natural style, or does he have a charley horse in his tongue? Does he intend to just keep talking until he thinks of something to say?

How long will those two slatterns from Maine be allowed to call themselves Republicans?

Did the sales of General Motors cars spiral downward after Mexicans started calling Chevrolets “Chebbys”?

Did the Obamas bring their own chef with them to the White House because he knows how to prepare that Chicago specialty called “Crooked Fried Chicken”?

Is Obama having fun ordering his white lackeys around – but are they any help?

Isn’t this the right time for a television situation comedy about the first black family in the White House? And should the show be called “The Uppitys”. And where is Norman Lear when nobody needs him?

[Note: I don't believe since the Days of Chivalry have we witnessed an exploit as knightly as that of pilot Chesley B. Sullenberger who saved the lives of 155 people with his “miracle” landing in the Hudson River. It is reassuring to know there are still some dragon slayers around when we need one.]

My favorite:

“And does Obama’s repeating “I won” a tacit implication that America lost?”

My favorite:

Does the relationship between Barack Obama and the media also fall into the category of “consensual sex”?

“With regard to the Obama slogan, “Change we can believe in”, what th’ hell does that mean?”

Just this morning Cokie Roberts on one of the “screaming face shows” said that this Stimulus Bill is not going to work unless we “Believe” and “be Believers”. She said we must be optimistic and work in a bi-partisan spirit.

This is going to make it work? Believing it will work? Poor Cokie; and who was her husband again or does she have same nefarious relationship with Clinton? I forgot!

My Favorite

“Are Obama’s stuttering, stammering, cliché-ridden speeches his natural style, or does he have a charley horse in his tongue? Does he intend to just keep talking until he thinks of something to say? “

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