You are correct in admonishing me about saying divorce. I should have said widowed also.
I am not against the people involved in these situations. I am concerned that step parent situations are not good for children and the parents regardless of their subjective feelings.
Please note that I set forth what can happen when step parent is both more and less loving than the bio parent.
I can also say that adopted children tend to yearn for their bio parents no matter how good their adoptive parents are.
There is power in biology and we should not forget it.
You said, “I am concerned that step parent situations are not good for children and the parents regardless of their subjective feelings.”
Are you serious? The very subjective feelings of the children are absolutely the most important thing of all. I agree with you that many adopted children do wonder about their biological parents but there is a good reason for that - it’s a mystery and they often want to know the reasons they were cast aside. This is not so in a widow/widower situation. The children know what happened and if the new parent is loving it is a huge blessing to the children and the “step” parent as well.
I am in complete disagreement with all of your points and think you are very wrong. As a Christian, I am adopted into the family of God. I think adoption is wonderful and so I do not see biology the way you do. Love is far, far more powerful than biology. I don’t want to underestimate biology b/c I think there is a lot to nature insofar as our personalities. There is also useful information regarding our health status. However, love is powerful and strong and I think it trumps biology ANY day.