Well, we agree on the ideal. I have no quibble with you. However, the world is imperfect. Also, to tell a young mother who has lost her husband in Iraq or anywhere else that she should not marry for the reasons you state is, in my opinion, very harsh. I think you come from a position of someone who has been very fortunate in their life not to have been placed in a position such as this.
I am not so judgmental of others or so righteous about trying to tell others what to do. However, you are certainly allowed to hold your position - I think you are in the minority on this, particularly with regard to widows/widowers. Children need a mother AND a father. The REAL problem is that people often discard their child’s other parent too readily and jump into a new relationship without thought. I have a cousin who is about to embark on her 4th marriage - she has 3 daughters. Can you even imagine? The only good news in THIS story is that the daughters were born into the 2nd marriage so they were spared the emotional pain of Divorce #1. I think my cousin is selfish.
As for God’s plan and children’s feelings, you seem to know an awful lot about what God’s plan is for all of these people whom you are referring to. For a Christian, you seem to lack the things spoken of in Micah where God asks us to do justice, to love, to show kindness and to walk “humbly” with our God. I see no humility at all in your stance whatsoever. God has not forbidden what you seem to be so against.
First of all, I am in the position you say I am not. I have had to think through a lot of the positions I put forth as you say, as an ideal.
A young mother who has lost her husband in Irag may remarry, but somewhere St. Paul says it is better for widows not to marry and he believes he is speaking for the Lord. So these ideals are not mine.
I have often believed that those who have a good marriage often don’t re-marry because they are afraid they will never find anyone to match up to their lost spouse. Those in a bad marriage often don’t marry because they are afraid they will match up with the lost spouse. I have know people who had good marriages and depended on the love of the deceased spouse, both before and after their death, to help them in their singleness.
You are so correct that children need a mother and a father, but a step parent is not a mother or a father. They are step parents and we get right back to where our discussion started.
I hope I do not engage in the attitude you accuse me of (rather self righteously yourself I might add). I hope that I am speaking the truth, which is what Christ himself is.
God has forbidden divorce and re-marriage and, as I said above, St. Paul seems to speak for Christ in saying it is better for widows not to marry.
I would also point to Malachi, where God himself says I hate divorce and chides his people for divorcing the wife of their youth.
I think we need to think deeply about his issue.