First of all, I am in the position you say I am not. I have had to think through a lot of the positions I put forth as you say, as an ideal.
A young mother who has lost her husband in Irag may remarry, but somewhere St. Paul says it is better for widows not to marry and he believes he is speaking for the Lord. So these ideals are not mine.
I have often believed that those who have a good marriage often don’t re-marry because they are afraid they will never find anyone to match up to their lost spouse. Those in a bad marriage often don’t marry because they are afraid they will match up with the lost spouse. I have know people who had good marriages and depended on the love of the deceased spouse, both before and after their death, to help them in their singleness.
You are so correct that children need a mother and a father, but a step parent is not a mother or a father. They are step parents and we get right back to where our discussion started.
I hope I do not engage in the attitude you accuse me of (rather self righteously yourself I might add). I hope that I am speaking the truth, which is what Christ himself is.
God has forbidden divorce and re-marriage and, as I said above, St. Paul seems to speak for Christ in saying it is better for widows not to marry.
I would also point to Malachi, where God himself says I hate divorce and chides his people for divorcing the wife of their youth.
I think we need to think deeply about his issue.
Well... you are wrong again. God does not forbid divorce. He hates it. There is a difference. I am sure you are a very sweet person and I have enjoyed this dialogue. After being a Christian since age 17 (I am almost 51 now), I have learned that while the Bible is good for instruction and teaching, as you well know (being a Christian yourself), the two greatest commandments are to love God and love each other. On this, I rest. Thus, while an individual may choose NOT to remarry for very good reasons such as you have stated, which are quite valid, in no way does that mean an individual who has chosen to remarry is somehow less of a Christian or less right. Additionally, as far as divorce, when one considers the horrors one individual can put another through, again, I do not think it is outside God’s forgiveness. Again, while we can strive for the ideal, we are, after all, human. I am, thankfully, all too human and that is why I daily go to Him for strength and wisdom so that my failings are not more than they already are; and when they come, He promises to forgive me when I ask for it.
Blessings.