Aries (March 21 - April 19)
.syas enoyna gniht elgnis a dnatsrednu ot elba eb t'now uoy yadot, ylddO
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Beware of turnips.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today may fail to live up to your expectations, but remember: it's what it's not that makes it what it is.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Bide your time, and don't do anything rash or in anger. Remember: Revenge is a dish best served cold, with a light béarnaise sauce.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Your cat will go thundering past you on the linoleum, but will miss the doorway by an inch or so. You will hear an odd "ping!" sound as her head hits the doorjamb. No harm will be done.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Good day to learn to do more with your toes. Start off by tying knots with them, and who knows? You could end up being able to accompany yourself on the piano!
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Despite your best efforts, you will be unable to get your book published. But all you really need to do is change the title! "A Comparative Study of Invertebrate Parasites" is not likely to be published. But "A Bucket Full Of Leeches"? Now that's another story.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Good day to start learning the violin. Interestingly, your neighbors will volunteer to pay for lessons. It's selfless gestures like that which really help friendships blossom.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Excellent day to be boisterous. Avoid obstreperousness, however.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will win 12,000 cases of peanut brittle today, on a call-in game show. That's a LOT of peanut brittle, as it turns out.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Beware of poltergeists, today.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
In a strange turn of events, it will turn out that people wearing glasses not only look smarter, they ARE smarter (and have better memories). You'll forget all about that when you take off your reading glasses, of course.
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