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I'm crazy about Palin and she's everything I hate (Barf Alert)
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer ^ | September 23, 2008 | Dom Joly

Posted on 09/23/2008 8:07:42 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet

It's getting quite embarrassing. I'll be flicking through the "dirty" channels, hoping for a glimpse of what I desire when ... Stacey bursts in and I have to fast-flick back to "Takeshi's Castle" on Challenge. It's too late though -- she knows what I'm up to. "Have you been watching Fox News?" she'll scream accusingly. I pretend to not know what she's talking about, but this lady is not for turning. "I don't know what you find so interesting about Sarah Palin but it's got to stop -- she's a monster."

I try to bury myself deep into the comforting folds of my leather sofa. I know she's right but I am in the grip of a terrible obsession with her. I can remember when I first saw her -- all white teeth and sexy glasses and hair scrunched up in a bun like some clichéd teenager's mom fantasy. She was so ... in charge ... and so ... sure of herself ... she's not a blinker. She's everything I hate -- a right-wing born-again who feels that she might be "good" with foreign policy because she can "see Russia from my house." McCain is about as healthy as Jimmy Savile and, should he win, she'll probably be president by Valentine's Day and at war with Belgium by the spring. I know all of this and yet, I think I love her ... there, I've said it, it's out there.

I can't get enough of her. I spend hours surfing the U.S. channels to find some pundit talking about her or somebody showing footage of her looking spookily sexy while shaking hands with a crowd. I used to love Obama -- he was exciting and shiny and new -- he was our Kennedy. Suddenly, he bores me.

It's Palin I want now and I suspect that this is the same for voters in the U.S. They don't want to vote for someone who seems to be so effortlessly superior to them in almost every way -- they want somebody who is actually like them ... but a bit more glamorous. They want pigs like themselves, just in better lipstick.

I play this online video game called "Call of Duty 4" and I connect with people from all over the world and talk to them while shooting at them.

Last night I played a guy who lived in Wasilla, Palin's hometown in Alaska. He was in a band that had played at her investiture when she was made governor. He didn't have much time for her and couldn't understand the effect that she was having Stateside. Suddenly another voice piped up. This was Jif who lived in Roswell, N.M. -- home of the alien conspiracy theory. Jif was quite hard to understand as he/she had just come from the dentist where seven teeth had been removed and his/her mouth was heavily anaesthetized.

"Sarrahah Palllinn ish a gud woman. She likes gunnsh and hatesh queershh. She will win because that'sh what thish cuntry neeeddsh."

My new Alaskan friend and I were silent for a while. Jif filled the void.

"She'sh a Cwishtyan and aint no Mushlim neither -- Obama is a terrosisht and he's gonna bee gunned down anyways -- nobody's gonna let him become peshident."

"God help you," I mumbled to my Alaskan friend.

"Too late. He's apparently already on her side," he replied.

The one thing we all had in common was that we were already ignoring McCain.

It's a straight fight between Obama and Palin and I wouldn't want to call the outcome. Whatever happens, it's going to be very exciting.

I already got the 'Indy' to send me to the Olympics --aybe it'll send me to the U.S. elections. I could be assigned to Palin's camp or her bus or her boudoir. Just because it would be ... interesting ... you understand. Now I've got to go watch Fox.

**********

Dom Joly is a columnist for The Independent in Britain.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: Alaska
KEYWORDS: 2008; 2008veep; election; elections; mccain; mccainpalin; obama; palin; sarahpalin
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

It’s ok Dom; everybody loves her.


21 posted on 09/23/2008 8:22:37 PM PDT by editor-surveyor (Obama isn't just an empty suit, he's a suit-Bomb trying to sneek into the White House.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Wow. So she found one of the three dozen people in Alaska who don’t Sarah Palin. Assuming that the girl is telling the truth. I’m still trying to remember if there was a band playing at the governor’s ball...

The writer seems to feel uncomfortable in the presence of a strong, intelligent, competent woman. You know what the left said about those who disliked Hillary for supposedly possessing the same qualities. LOL


22 posted on 09/23/2008 8:23:53 PM PDT by redpoll
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To: unspun

Pray without ceasing!


23 posted on 09/23/2008 8:25:54 PM PDT by editor-surveyor (Obama isn't just an empty suit, he's a suit-Bomb trying to sneek into the White House.)
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To: redpoll
Assuming that the girl is telling the truth.

Dems (dims) lie with a straight face. Really, they just do. They're just twisted or perverted people.

24 posted on 09/23/2008 8:31:30 PM PDT by Clock King (Under revision...)
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To: redpoll

I, for one, am totally in love with this strong, intelligent, competent woman. she is rocking my world!


25 posted on 09/23/2008 8:34:32 PM PDT by righting-wrongs
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To: conservative cat

Yes, and amazing how that person fits every stereotype of a stupid, God luvin’ hick that fits the writers template.

I’m sure this paper would print heresay from a Call Of Duty player who encountered Obama supporters saying stupid things.


26 posted on 09/23/2008 8:35:14 PM PDT by word_warrior_bob (You can now see my amazing doggie and new puppy on my homepage!! Come say hello to Jake & Sonny)
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To: word_warrior_bob
These ramblings were printed in a newspaper?

No. It was printed in the Seattle Post Intelligencer. It hasn't been a "newspaper" for over 40 years. /s
27 posted on 09/23/2008 8:37:26 PM PDT by rickomatic
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To: 2ndDivisionVet; All

I feel much stupider just for having read this!


28 posted on 09/23/2008 8:38:03 PM PDT by notdownwidems (Vote Republican! We're 1/10 of 1% better than the other guys!)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

I wonder how many men will vote for Sarah simply because she’s hot and they wanna look for the next 4 years.


29 posted on 09/23/2008 8:40:19 PM PDT by Aria ("An America that could elect Sarah Palin might still save itself." Vin Suprynowicz)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

This paper is named The Intelligencer?

The Flatuencer is more fitting. And I thought the Minneapolis Red Star Tribune was bad.


30 posted on 09/23/2008 8:42:27 PM PDT by mplsconservative
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

The mind is a terrible thing to waste.

The liberal mind is just a waste.


31 posted on 09/23/2008 8:43:36 PM PDT by Iron Munro (US Marines: First to fight our country's battles in the air, on land, on sea and in orbit!)
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To: Shaun_MD
The chatty Cathy's aren't gamers so what would I care?

w00t

32 posted on 09/23/2008 8:50:39 PM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (By Obama's own reckoning, isn't Lyndon LaRouche more qualified? He's run since the 70's)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
"Sarah has these idiots in a frenzy. I don't believe a word of this person's "Call of Duty 4" story, do you?"

Sarah has them frothing at the mouth desperate, that's for sure.

I don't believe his Call to Duty story but I do believe the man/girl gets his rocks off shooting things on a computer. Most of the lefties that I've heard talking have very violent ideas and talk about shooting this a$$hole or effing this mothereffer up though they wouldn't know which end of a firearm to point at the shootee or have the strength to squeeze the trigger.

33 posted on 09/23/2008 8:55:28 PM PDT by Eagles6 ( Typical White Guy: Christian, Constitutionalist, Heterosexual, Redneck)
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To: mplsconservative
This paper is named The Intelligencer?

No it's named After The Intelligencer

34 posted on 09/23/2008 8:59:01 PM PDT by Oztrich Boy (Does anyone remember the olden days when the US presidential election was boring?)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
They don't want to vote for someone who seems to be so effortlessly superior to them in almost every way

You mean Barry? Please. Except for the narcissistic ambition, where he is the all time champ , what exactly has he ever accomplished? Who or what is one bit better off because of his existence? Oh yea, ACORN is better off. Guess you can give him that. Oh and his wife. She gets to live in style in spite of being born in this snake pit of a country she is so ashamed of. There's that too. And don't forget the people that make teleprompters...

35 posted on 09/23/2008 9:04:12 PM PDT by Minn (Here is a realistic picture of the prophet: ----> ([: {()
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To: rickomatic
>>>The one line in this article you can't argue with! <<<

Seattle's big on being "green" but this is the ultimate in recycled trash....from Britain no less.

...note to self....send note to the PI to this effect tomorrow!

36 posted on 09/23/2008 9:20:01 PM PDT by HardStarboard
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To: txflake
Hate 2 Love Her
by Blake Lewis

She loves the finer things
Gold and diamond rings
Give her the moon but wouldn't be enough
She wants the perfect man
Has a perfect plan
And nothing I do could ever live up

But I'm falling
Alright
And she's falling
Alright
We're heading for perfect disaster
And I'm falling
All night
And she's falling
Tonight
But wait till the morning

I know that I hate her
Even though I love her
She's making my heart hurt
I can't describe, describe...
How I hate her
Everytime I'm with her
All I do is want her
Why do I even try

I give her all I've got to give
But she makes it so hard to live
And I do everything I can
But she wants, she wants, she wants
She wants a perfect man

oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh

My love's the simple kind
But its hard to find
With anyone else
They would get in line
But she's all that I can see
Something's wrong with me
Cause all that she wants
I could never be

But I'm falling
Alright
And she's falling
Alright
We're heading for perfect disaster
And I'm falling
All night
And she's falling
Tonight
But wait till the morning

I know that I hate her
Even though I love her
She's making my heart hurt
I can't describe, describe
How I hate her
Every time I'm with her
All I do is want her
Why do I even try

I give her all I've got to give
But she makes it so hard to live
And I'd do everything I can
But she wants, she wants, she wants,
She wants a perfect man

Everything about her
Every time around her
She's in control
Like it don't matter
Just another body swinging for show
I'm underrated, rehabilitated, ready to go
But can't she understand that I know, I know

But I'm falling
Alright
And she's falling
Alright
We're heading for perfect disaster
And I'm falling
All night
And she's falling
Tonight
But wait till the morning

I know that I hate her
Even though I love her
She's making my heart hurt
I can't describe, describe
How I hate her
Every time I'm with her
All I do is want her
Why do I even try

I give her all I've got to give
But she makes it so hard to live
And I'd do everything I can
But she wants, she wants, she wants,
She wants a perfect man

oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, yeah
37 posted on 09/23/2008 9:23:14 PM PDT by freebilly
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
Dom and his/her imaginary hick friend discuss Palin. Nice.
38 posted on 09/23/2008 9:24:18 PM PDT by Dead Dog
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

“McCain is about as healthy as Jimmy Savile and, should he win, she’ll probably be president by Valentine’s Day”

sigh....


39 posted on 09/23/2008 10:05:40 PM PDT by Grunthor (Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.)
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To: Dead Dog

Well, 2nd DivsionVet is a COD player and I’ve seen him playing COD4 on our server www.fkmod.com

Gamers come in all stripes, breeds and flavors and it’s a tight knit community of people who love to get into a firefight and kill each other except unlike the real heroes out there we regenerate and go again.

And let’s admit it...Sarah is a babe! So if he admires her as do I perhaps next time on the battlefield I’ll let him slide by without fragging him.

Calling in a airstrike now so I have to run...

{FKR}WereWolf


40 posted on 09/23/2008 10:06:42 PM PDT by Duaine (Peace is our profession....)
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