Posted on 06/18/2008 12:02:06 PM PDT by abran770
A new video on YouTube is taking the Internet by storm. Entitled "I'm Voting … Republican," the satirical clip depicts actors playing conservative Americans of all shapes and sizes explaining why they would vote for the GOP.
"Arnold Jones" says he's voting Republican because "all other countries are inferior to us" -- and his wife, "Trudy Jones," adds, "and we should start as many wars as we need to keep it that way." A soldier in Iraq states that he's voting Republican "so I can stay in Iraq" -- and a young boy, labeled "future draftee," points a fake gun at the camera and smiles while saying "so I can go to Iran!"
A black couple says they're voting Republican because they "like a conservative majority on the Supreme Court," with the wife noting, "we really like knowing that even if we're separate, we'll still be called equal."
This insulting nonsense is precisely what liberals think of conservatives: We're all warmongers, racists, environmental rapists and secret emissaries of big corporations. We're going to reinstitute the draft, start a war with Canada and then relocate African-Americans to Quebec.
This sort of tripe should be dismissed out of hand. In the spirit of evenhandedness and fair play, however, I feel it my duty to explain why I'm going to vote Democrat.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that the best strategy in war is defeat. It broadens the mind to learn Japanese, German and Arabic. Talk about multiculturalism!
I'm voting Democrat because I'm mad that George W. Bush hasn't caught Bin Laden. That's because Bin Laden is the only Islamic terrorist in the world.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that if I don't have enough money, the solution is for the government to take more of my money. Who needs money when gas is $5 per gallon?
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that the ideal family is two homosexual bonobos, a goat and a parrot raising a human baby. Love and compassion is all it takes to make a successful family!
I'm voting Democrat because it's my body, and if I want to kill my baby, I'll do it, even if its head is in the birth canal. If I want to cut out my intestines and feed them to the crocodiles, I'll do that too. That's the freedom our forefathers enshrined in the Constitution.
I'm voting Democrat because our enemies on the battlefield deserve comfy hotel rooms, Pay-Per-View, prostitutes and all the benefits of American citizenship.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe we need other countries' permission for me to turn down my thermostat.
I'm voting Democrat because I care about the real victims of crime -- criminals.
I'm voting Democrat because the real cure for racism includes preferential policies based on race -- particularly in presidential voting. If you believe that a black candidate ought to be qualified, as well as black, you're worse than Bull Conner.
I'm voting Democrat because everyone deserves crappy healthcare. Sure, you'll have to wait years for that life-saving cancer surgery. But it's first come, first served at the cemetery!
I'm voting Democrat because I believe in minority rights (except in Muslim countries), free speech (with regard to pornography but not conservative talk radio), environmentalism (unless we're talking about Al Gore's house) and diplomacy (but never backed by the threat of military force).
I'm voting Democrat because I like the words "hope" and "change." Also "kazoo." That's a funny word.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that America's founders were rich, white, greedy xenophobes, and that America's founding principles are hogwash requiring periodic editing from an unelected group of liberal judges.
Most of all, I'm voting Democrat because I like the ideas they have over in France, but I don't feel like moving there. I'll threaten to move, but I really won't. After all, I have a good job, healthcare, lower taxes, free speech and a social framework that promotes family structure. And all of it is defended by the most effective fighting force on the planet.
If only the institution of far-left values resulted in a great country. Oh, well. That won't stop me from voting Democrat, though. After all, I'm voting Democrat because thought isn't one of my strong suits.
I’m voting for Democrats so I can come up with any irrational conspiracy theory to explain how I am being victimized and no one will blink an eye.
It really wouldn’t be that hard to make that video.
Have a couple of terrorists on there.
“I am voting democrat because Obama is weak, and will let us kill all the Jews we want.”
I’m voting democrat because I don’t want to be responsible for my life, my money, or any children I may father out of wedlock.
I’m voting democrat because I believe the U.S. was brought about by evil forces and should be made defenseless as a means of atonement.
I’m voting democrat because I’m scared to death of what other people in other countries may think of me.
Nice, witty column from young Ben. Title had me worried...
This is a constructive piece. Mock the other side like they mocked you. We did that in Jr. High. Don’t remember it doing much good.
Brilliant!
I am voting Democrat because I want the terrorists to kill me last.
Hey, I want to see a video on TV, cable & the net. I want to hear an ad on radio.
I want a blitz of Why I vote DemocRAT. I want Repubs with some nads.
Guess I won’t get anything I want because I am not a Democrat.
I’m voting Democrat because Obama sounds a lot like Osama.
Also posted here:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2031048/posts
I don’t expect conservatives to copy this slick screed, but it would be nice if they fought back one and a while. Instead we get Liberal Lite, John McCain.
Older couple stated they wanted to pay more in taxes; guy wearing camo, stated that "Harold Ford is right, I really do own too many guns." But the clincher was the bimbo gushing, "I met Harold and the Playboy party! Harold, call me."
It won the election for Bob Corker. Wish the Pubbies had the guts to run those sorts of ads now.
Ever read Edward Berhnays’ book “Propaganda”? It was Goebbel’s gameplan for creating the Nazi propaganda machine — despite the fact Bernays was a Jew.
When Bernays created modern public relations he stressed that people are not motivated to act by ratonality but by emotions. You cannot win an election because you have the best graphs or even the best logic — you win by going deeper into the sub conscious.
You Tube is filling up with all kinds of political satire. Satire that uses ironic wit will sway many voters. Conservatives need to harnes this creative medium themselves or else face losing this November. Remember, soem of these videos are forwarded through MySpace, bulk e-mail lists and Facebook. They can reach thousands in a short time.
I'm voting Democrat because I want Joe "The Plagiarist" Biden as Veep.
I'm voting Democrat because I want John "F'n" Kerry as Sec of State.
I'm voting Democrat because I want Joe "Sweet Tea" Wilson back in the Diplomatic Corps.
I'm voting Democrat because I want Jamie "The Wall" Gorleick as AG.
I'm voting Democrat because I want Richard "Who Me?" Clarke and Valerie "007" Plame back in the intelligence community.
I'm voting Democrat because I want to see William the Impeached and/or Hillary "PIAPS" Clinton in the SCOTUS.
After you get done puking, hold your nose and pull the handle for John McCain.
Little Alex’s mom is going to have a cow when little Alex turns 18 and announces that he’s joined the Army and will be headed for Iraq after boot camp for a little adventure.
I request permission to post some of these fine “I’m voting Democrat...” responses in the comments section of the video.
“I’m voting Democrat, because I for one welcome our new Muslim overlords.”
LOL...article turned out much better than the title implied. Glad I read it first for a change. ;)
I’m voting Democrat because I want to punish the rich for creating jobs and paying the lion’s share of taxes in this country.
I’m voting Democrat because we need the same government that runs the our failing public schools to ruin every other major sector of the economy.
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