Charles, Doug - your esteemed opinions matter...
The Ashley Defense
Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed nation, I have one final thing I want you to consider…
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Ashley. Ashley is a white woman who lives in South Carolina, but she feeds her sick mother – who has no health care – mustard and relish sandwiches. Now think about it, that does not make sense!
Why would a white woman, for a whole year, want to feed her sick mother mustard and relish sandwiches? Don’t she know that ramen noodles are cheaper? How can she afford ramen noodles when she works for free for Barack Obama? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with my racist pastor? Nothing.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it has nothing to do with my speech! It does not make sense! Look at me. I’m a senator running for President, and I’m talkin’ about Ashley! Does this make sense?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you’re in that voting booth deliberatin’ and conjugatin’ my Pastor’s whitey-hatin, does it make sense? No! Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed country, it does not make sense! If Ashley feeds her mom mustard and relish sandwiches, you must vote for me – or you’re a racist! The campaign rests, G.D. America!
Look at the cankle! Look at the silly cankle!