I don’t have any studies to back this up, just my observations, but—it seems to me that lots of parents would be happier if they’d just discipline their kids and set healthy limits to their behavior. I know it’s not politically correct to say that, but it must be hard to enjoy the results of letting them run rough-shod over everyone, including the parents, especially once they’re in their teens and even MORE difficult to manage.
It also seems to me that a lot of parents have children because it’s chic to have kids. They dress them up and show them off at the mall, but when it comes time to do the real work with them, they’re MIA.
Neither of these observations are true of all parents, but I do see it all too often.
My sentiments exactly — Child as Plaything gets really old really fast. Not to mention the number of us whose walk through the grocery store, the mall, the airport, and even the International Car Show is impeded by screaming, thrashing, flailing small fry whose parents are standing by helplessly wringing their hands. Last weekend on the way between buildings at the Car Show we encountered one of these Pampered Darlings whose roars could be heard for half a city block; the general comment was “Oh, NOW I remember why I never had kids!” or “The poster child for birth control.” People without kids see this kind of nightmare and congratulate themselves on avoiding it.
The other indisputable truth is that you cannot rear very many children in a 339 square foot condo on the 65th floor of a building that is completely surrounded by other tall buildings, especially when that condo cost you $250,000 and your tax rate is 45%. Where are you going to stack them? Where are they supposed to play? Who is going to take them outside to run around — when the nearest green space is half an hour away? And that’s not even including all the Gadgets they HAVE to have (lest they shriek and roll and flail and refuse to get up off the floor).
There are lots more reasons not to have kids than to have them, unless you live on a farm or need them to ramp up your welfare cheque.
A society under pressure, in "survival mode", tends to cut through the BS. Homosexuality and abortion are not tolerated as much as in a society that's thriving and children are highly valued.
In many ways the very things that disgust us conservatives, are indicators of wealth, security and contentment.
This theory has one important exception. Women won't have as many children if they don't feel that they have supportive mates; IE: Russia. But they WILL have babies without mates if they have a supportive society; IE: the welfare system. They'll have MORE children if they have a supportive system and still feel the pressures of poverty. (That takes me back to my main point.)
Just my humble theory.
“Show children” have been a problem since the rise of the bourgeoisie following the industrial revolution.
And I think you've hit on one of the reasons some choose not to have kids anymore: modern society (and liberalism in particular) has made it nearly impossible to control your own children, to raise them with the values and morals you want, etc.
Really, who wants to have kids when there's a very good chance that you will have little opportunity to influence what sort of adults they grow into? That role is increasingly being usurped by the government.
It’s way more common than should be these days.
Raising well behaved kids is a lot of work. They always test the limits and when you’re tired or not feeling well, nobody wants to deal with it.
IMO, all these people who don’t want kids for that reason shouldn’t have them. They wouldn’t make good parents anyway, and who needs to have to put up with their little darlings obnoxious, out of control behavior.
God gave us teenagers so that we wouldn't be sad when they leave the nest.
But I can't wait for grandkids!