In addition, I found out that a couple of relatives have certain psychological/physiological problems such as schizophrenia (which, I think, is at least partly hereditary)... and after I learned that, I felt extremely RELIEVED that I had refrained from reproducing.
Because I don't think I could have dealt with a kid with that kind of a severe problem.
Unfortunately, I'm in a similar situation. Having an atrocious gene pool (crazy family to boot) & myself with ADHD, I am grateful to be childless. Not because I don't like kids, but because I could barely take care of myself.
Having kids is one thing. Being a parent -- role model, not just caregiver -- is something else.
I do not in any way advocate childlessness. Generally we are meant to procreate, & raise the next generation. But I do believe that if you do not have the resources, financial or psychological, to raise a child, you should not have one. Period.
I was offered men who had custody (or fighting for custody) of their kids, because the wife wasn't well mentally. The first thing I say is, "I am not going to be any better."
I was offered men who had custody (or fighting for custody) of their kids, because the wife wasn't well mentally. The first thing I say is, "I am not going to be any better."
In general, I agree with you. I don't think I'm necessarily crazy... but I have had a hard time taking care of myself, and other things have happened in the last few years which have made it even harder (pay cut, among others). I'm currently the main breadwinner in my long-term relationship, and it's been difficult.
A long-ago ex of mine had the ex-girlfriend from hell (crazy, manipulative, mean, etc.). I was with him for three years, and was effectively a stepmom to the kid he was raising... and the kid wasn't his biologically.
He was one of the first men I ever met who actually loved being a father. He loved that kid, and the kid knew he was lucky to have him for a father.
But the mother of that kid was a nightmare. She should not have had kids, but she did--five kids and an unknown number of abortions. Every time she got preggers, there was a question of paternity. She went through men like Kleenex (at least as long as her looks held out).
She was very good at playing helpless and then grabbing men by the short hairs. She used the kids as pawns to get what she wanted from the men.
I have a hard time understanding why men didn't just run away screaming, but it took some time for them to get past the easy sex and see her for what she was.
I feel sorry for her kids. I wonder if any of her kids turned out as crazy as she is.