That's your cue, people.
[My $0.02: Breed, schmeed. The important part is to let the kitten pick YOU.]
Posted on 02/27/2008 7:06:01 AM PST by Uncledave
I had always figured I would have kids one day - I mean, it’s just what you do when you grow up, right? Well, here I am at 40, never married, and it just never happened. At this point in my life I just can’t see starting down that road - I’m too set in my ways, and given my family history I’d just as soon not have children and not live long enough to see them graduate high school.
Am I to be criticized for this? I support my mother, I pay taxes hand over fist to pay for social programs for other people of all ages. Do I have a duty to produce children to pay for my or my parents’ generation in retirement? Personally, I’m planning to take care of myself, financially at least. I have nothing against children, particularly - I’ve enjoyed spending time with various friends’ children, even when they were wailing, pooping, puking babies. I envy my friends who have kids, actually, even though they sometimes envy me for my freedom and disposable income.
I have been wondering about this lately, and I agree with many of the comments people have posted. One more thought - women who don’t have relatives (parents or in-laws) nearby have fewer children. What I think people fail to appreciate is just how grueling and somewhat lonely it can be to be a stay-at-home mom. Having female relatives in close proximity is a definite plus, so when our society became more mobile and people moved far from parents and other relatives, they had fewer children.
Oh, that will be sad when your last baby goes to school! (Maybe time to have one more??? ;))
That's fine by me. As I see it, the problem is those who don't want the responsibility of children and yet continue to have them.
"Indeed, looking after the kids appears to be only slightly more pleasant than doing housework," asserts Gilbert in his bestselling, Stumbling on Happiness (2006). Of course, that's not what most parents say when asked.
So the researchers proved their conclusions... how?
“Whoah. Do the kids know that’s how you feel?”
Nope! I just put up with their stuff and stay quiet.
I guess I am the odd man out. I love my kids and can’t imagine a life without them. Maybe it is because I am still a kid myself. At 54 i skateboard with my youngest, have my own healies, coach softball and basketball.
I raised a great son who now is 25 and very succesfully employed as a programmer. I bought my first computer when he was born (I am a software designer) so I joke that we have always been joined at the CPU. But we also back-pack out for 2 to 3 days at a stretch. We are also very good friends and now “hang together”, excahnge DVD’s and send “guy stuff” e-mail to each other.
But we might just be different. We are hybrid home-schoolers. Big time campers. Into Geo-Caching and our house has always been Kid central for the neighborhood. As an older parent, I am financially more secure than the young parents and I AM NOT in a rush to get my kids out of the house.
If I am asked if i like being a parent, I say “Yes” because it is the truth.
It’s not an irrational experiment. It is people responding to external pressures against having a family. Schools are a joke, daycare is a mortgage payment, alimony plus child support = poverty for many fathers, divorce rate is at 50%.
Agree with your premise.
Decades of Spockism have had an effect I think.
Oy! I never said (nor do I believe) that non-church goers don’t have children or that church-goers do. I do believe there is a connection, however (key word = connection).
Believers are more likely to marry and have children. I bet the stats back it up. They are more likely to have more children too. Most people I know that have a lot of kids are very religious (orthodox Jews, devout Evangelicals).
Glad you came to the Lord though, my brother!
That’s great! Ya gotta love kids! Glad he’s doing well.
Thanks
“So parents say one thing, but Gilbert knows they’re lying.... How does he know that?”
I agree. Parents I know think that kids are the best thing to happen to them. Me included. I wish I had 10 more.
When this Freerider dies, Mogen David Adom and/or Best Friends get some nice checks. I am perfectly capable of disposing of my estate.
That's your cue, people.
[My $0.02: Breed, schmeed. The important part is to let the kitten pick YOU.]
Auction, friends, or landfill. What good is it to me when I'm dead?
Well, my question is, "Why don't they care?" But please note that this is an issue that I've had to deal with in several ways, from childless aunts and an uncle (including a pair of never-married aunts now having trouble taking care of themselves who now lean heavily on myself and my two cousins when things go bad) and a friend who recently died young and childless, with two childless siblings, whose family has given me first dibs on whatever I want to take from his belongings, some of which I want to try to keep in his family via a little cousin that he liked if that part of his family wants it. In addition, I recently talked to my father-in-law about one of his co-workers who, childless and facing failing health, killed himself with no obvious heirs. And then there were the years visiting my grandparents in a nursing home, seeing old people (including those with children, sadly) who never got visiters and were desperate to talk to someone -- anyone -- walking down the hallway. So I don't know about you but I'm seeing this starting to happen around me and find it a bit heartbreaking, especially since one of the great benefits of childlessness is supposed to be the extra money that people can spend on themselves, spending that will ultimately wind up in the ground with them (experiences) or in a dumpster or on Ebay (items). Consider the third ghost that visited Scrooge. Contrary to all of those Baby Boomer retirement account commercials, most people won't be windsurfing through their 80s.
And please note that I'm not saying that one person not having children is a bad thing. My childless aunts and uncle have nephews and nieces to leave their things to and some people become honorary members of another family. But the overall lack of children and smaller number of children means that only children (I'm one) don't have siblings to give them nephews and nieces and you won't get nephews and nieces if your siblings don't have children, either. Sure, some families are dysfunctional and some people find adoptive families but it's not the individual cases that are a problem so much as the overall pattern. One person walking on the grass isn't going to leave a rut but thousands are. One person deciding not to have children isn't going to wreck society (there have always been people who don't have children for various reasons, including an inability to do so) but large numbers taking that route and a birthrate well below replacement just might.
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