Posted on 02/18/2008 11:52:51 AM PST by firehat
JOHN McCAIN:
TWO QUESTIONS TO EVERY SIDE ©
by Norman Liebmann
Nothing in history reveals as much meaningless rummaging as has been required to come up with a John McCain. If Republicans are expecting a nice guy in John McCain they’re going to be disappointed. But if they’re expecting a double-crossing, disloyal, amnesty-loving SOB – he’s not a bad guy. The superficiality of John McCain’s allegiances is stomach-boggling. John (Anyway the Wind Blows) McCain has proved that all politicians are the same, although John McCain demonstrates that some politicians are more the same than others. The McCain nomination is an embarrassment on its way to becoming a national calamity. It is especially ominous sign that Rosie O’Donnell hasn’t yet said anything negative about him.
One wonders from whence comes the notion that John McCain is a conservative. Will some spiritualist medium please step forward and tell us where that ectoplasm formed? The GOP has come to stand for The Grand Old Patsies. Conservatives are sick of the Republican Party’s endless procession of get-along go-along political ciphers. To paraphrase a popular lyric - A reign by McCain goes mainly against the grain. It’s this simple. In the Republican Party there are a lot of conservatives - of which there are none.
With McCain being offered the helm, it is increasingly apparent that the rats are not abandoning the ship – they’re clambering aboard. It is depressing how automatically Republican hack politicians lined up behind McCain. The endorsement of “McSmirk” by Giuliani proves that city slickers can be had. Joseph Lieberman’s endorsement of John McCain proves he is capable of something even more grossly stupid and gutless than his backing off the impeachment of Bill Clinton. The GOP has become the Gutless Old Party. There’s no way to spin that – even in Washington.
The candidates that clutter the upcoming election of 2008 have finally given America a yardstick by which we can measure accurately the expression “The worst of all possible worlds”. The downside of not voting for John McCain is it makes it possible for Hillary to become President of the United States of America for the next four years. The upside is it would banish McCain from the American political scene forever. The only certainty is no matter who is elected, more billions will be shoveled into NASA, America’s one trick pony and flying circus.
APPEARANCES
There are three major reasons not to support John McCain’s bid to become President. He’s old, he’s ill, and he’s John McCain. At an age when people are retiring to Arizona he wants to retire from Arizona. It is fitting that McCain should be the Senator from Arizona, which is less a state than it is a retirement village with ambitions. McCain talks the talk but like a politician but walks the walk like a penguin.
It is just possible McCain has been taking periodic blood transfusions from Teddy Kennedy in order to build up his present immunity to conservatism. As a result, respect for the Constitution is something his body rejects. (After Bob Dole started doing commercials for Viagra the image of Republicanism transmuted from the party of influence to the party of impotence.)
The only explanation for his abbreviated arms is that he pushed the trigger and the trigger pushed back. It is rumored while the other prisoners at the Hanoi Hilton had cells – McCain had quarters. I guess the hardship he considered that he endured was because he was promised a suite which was not delivered. The gooks are cruel that way.
The duality of his political convictions enables McCain to approach senility from opposite sides. McCain is not only old – but has committed the folly of looking his age. In fact, McCain looks like the Ancient Mariner’s older brother. If McCain looked any older he could be mistaken for a member of the Rolling Stones. One supposes that cosmetic surgery has its limitations. He is unlikely to inspire the confidence during the State of the Union Speech when he comes down the aisle of the House of Representative with a walker and the Sergeant at Arms announces him as “Ladies and Gentlemen - the Old Fogy of the United States” John Sidney McCain. It will do little to increase the respect of other heads of state by our President being called “Gramps”. (A day off his meds could lead to war.)
It appears we will have a contest between a 71 year old free lance fanatic and a 60 year old teary-eyed radical with a big ass. The disparity is, with the election of Hillary Clinton we will be getting both the nanny state and the granny state at the same time. A Hillary/McCain contest may not change America’s course, but would determine which one looks worse when getting out of bed in the morning.
POLICIES
McCain admonishes conservatives with condescension to “calm down” while he is the reason their shorts are in a knot. His affinity for illegal Mexicans is paradoxical. Apparently one of the dirty jobs that illegal aliens are eager to do that Americans won’t is to support John McCain. Should McCain become President you will see more Mexicans in America than the Wicked Witch of the West had flying monkeys. As explained by Geraldo Rivera in one of his all too frequent gloats on Fox, Mitt Romney was punished at the polls by the Sons and Daughters of the Inquisition for his opposition to Amnesty which is so cynically embraced by Senor Juan Jose Juarez McCain - who they hope will become the Padrone of the United States.
Likely McCain will appoint Geraldo Rivera as his liaison to America’s Spanish-speaking gangs in a move to keep honest citizens off their own streets. The Rivera appointment will insure a steady flow of guitar picks throughout the U.S. It is hoped this will not take time away from Rivera’s exploitation of the American troops who he uses as a backdrop to promote his “I Am the War” image. Barrio brain Geraldo Rivera would likely convince McCain to return the Alamo to Mexico where it would be re-designated as the home office of Taco Bell.
McCain has an as yet unexplained inclination to open the sluice gate that floods "illegals" into the United States. We do not understand his affinity for peons. There is nothing in Mexico that doesn’t give you diarrhea – including their music. He does not need to drink water with Mexican water because at his age he is probably already spending the better part of each day in the toilet.
REACHING
Reaching across the aisle is a prerogative reserved by Senator Larry Craig for himself – but usually reserved for making new acquaintances in the men’s’ room. Reaching across the aisle is, by its physicality reserved for Republicans with longer arms and more plastic points of view. Still John McCain is the default delegate of Americans whose saliva has run dry but still have a need to spit in the face of their own Salvation. McCain’s only regret as a career politician is that he cannot see the look on a colleague’s face when he knifes him in the back.
George Bush has declared John McCain “a true conservative”. All you have to know is that Bush sides with McCain on immigration to know what nitwits both of them are. Bush decided to end his term with an End of the Republican Party Celebration commemorating a thermonuclear budget bust to remember him by. I haven’t gotten around to considering McCain’s credentials as a conservative. I am still trying to find a way to rescind the vote I cast for George Bush.
Most people could not live with the animus directed toward John McCain. He glories in it. It’s just possible he believes that the contempt of the conservatives is a cure for cancer. He has no other logical reason to wallow in it. (If McCain wins, he could celebrate by popping open a magnum of Chemo.)
McCain looks like he’s in the terminal stages of anemia. He appears totally bloodless – as though he had been Count Dracula’s favorite apéritif. McCain looks like a Q Tip with flippers. His hand salute doesn’t quite make it all the way to his eyebrow. When McCain gives the “thumbs up” sign he looks like he is standing too close to his thumbs.
John Sidney “McCrust” as he might aptly be referred to, has been admonishing his critics to “Just calm down” – this from the only guest in the history of the Hanoi Hilton who was asked by the management to either behave himself or leave. The full gamut of his emotions is a pendulum that swings between growling and snarling. He appears to have the temperament of a wolverine with a bad case of hemorrhoids. We have not seen anyone this chronically out of sorts since the Terrible Tempered Mr. Bang – an ill-natured passenger the Motorman couldn’t kick off The Toonerville Trolley. With his naval background and irascible nature nobody is better equipped to scuttle the Ship of state.
McCain’s ability to survive indicates that he has an inexhaustible supply of something or other that nobody wants. And if anyone wanted it, it probably would be something that wouldn’t last. His most notable self-serving achievement was to acquire a trophy wife – as did Ted Turner.
The Grand Old Party has become the Death Wish Party. They have made the Senate into an intellectual pygmy village. It is surprising that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt haven’t adopted one of its members.
The Senate is a whorehouse and McCain is the one whose virtue all the Democrat members attest to. What an endorsement! Yet, for John McCain double-crossing fellow Republicans has become a way of life. After all, what are friends for?
Reaching out to the Democrats is the true measure of the expression that “You can’t get there from here”. Anybody but McCain would know that. After you call him Judas McCain there’s nothing left to quibble about. The only thing that reaches across the aisle is the miasma of McCain’s disloyalty to his party. The temptation is not to wait for his election to begin his impeachment.
The Democrats have determined in order to win they must have a black candidate - even if they have to nominate Daffy Duck, who is a little less liberal than Barack Obama. The difference between McCain and any Democrat is too subtle to be meaningful – or even discernible. In John McCain, the Republican political hacks have given us a choice of a radical socialist against a socialist radical. His cabinet will likely reunite the fourteen Senators he led in gang-banging the Constitution. The Republicans want freedom - but they don’t want it enough. McCain’s politics are free-form. Like water he takes the shape of whatever receptacle you pour him in. He could have been the savior of his country, but chose to remain a cranky old man who likes to wheel and deal and to confront the prevailing will of the people. He has a mental warp that thrives in the natural environment of politics.
Bill Clinton cheated on his wife and John McCain cheated on his party. To paraphrase Gertrude Stein, a cheat is a cheat is a cheat. The Hillary/McCain battle will devolve on which of them can portray themselves as the most convincing victim. This is a Frank Capra-esque self-pity driven contest. An election will be between John McCain and Hillary Clinton poses a funhouse mirror image of conservatism against a Stephen King gynecological horror.
It requires more than public sympathy to anoint one a hero. McCain seems to have gotten it on demand. The conventional wisdom is not that the Vietnamese captured McCain but that he volunteered for captivity. It is reasonable to believe that the McCain saga contains a certain element of mythology. After all, it is a story as told by John McCain to John McCain. McCain considers arrogance among the noblest of all human emotions, although it’s possible that the guards at the Hanoi Hilton did not consider it McCain’s most endearing characteristic.
The military needs a reunion of his fellow inmates for a polygraph party to determine such questions as, did the guards at the Hanoi Hilton really abuse John McCain, and if so, did they abuse him enough? Were both his arms deformed because the Vietnamese guards were sadists, or did he sustain those injuries because, as has been reported, he neglected to release his plane’s canopy before ejecting from the aircraft. “Oops” doesn’t quite serve as an explanation. In fact, McCain totaled out five very expense aircraft. Perhaps he never quite grasped the idea that it was his job to destroy the enemies planes, not his own.
McCain served aboard the aircraft carrier James V. Forrestal, named for a Secretary of the Navy who committed suicide. Perhaps Forrestal anticipated McCain would be coming aboard. As a Navy pilot, McCain’s carrier landings were as predictable as where the little white ball comes to rest on a roulette wheel. If there is not a causal relationship in that fact there is at least a reasonable amount of irony.
McCain wants to work with Democrats – if he can find a shovel big enough. Despots remain invulnerable having warned their minions of the suicidal price of crossing party lines. McCain saying he can work with the Democrats is comparable to Judge Ito saying I can work with the O.J. Simpson jury.
True conservatives won’t give McCain an inauguration. They’d rather give him a roast. Likely the poignant moment of his John McCain’s Inaugural Reception will be when Jane Fonda comes down the receiving line and asks him, “Haven’t we met somewhere before?” The Hanoi Hilton ended up being The John and Jane Show.
His declining to be allowed to leave Hanoi suggests that he and Jane Fonda were the only two people who felt comfortable there. A Republican ticket that might span the political spectrum may be is Hanoi John and Hanoi Jane. Fonda could oblige Hillary Clinton to split both the vagina vote and the treason vote.
With their political views, all the three principal candidates should be running to be elected Commissar of Berkeley. Hillary and Obama proclaim themselves Surrendercrats. McCain advertises himself The Poster Boy for Captivity. Not much to choose from among that bunch. Whoever is elected President will immediately call Bill Clinton for advice on who to screw first.
The country looked to the Republicans to make one last attempt to rescue the nation from the trash and venom that is of liberalism. They turned for their champion to John McCain, the nearest thing they could find to Pierre Laval. He has no moral compass, and is pretty much of a billiard ball that has lost its ability to be round. Election of John McCain means the Republicans want to continue George Bush’s Vichy government in Washington.
The Clintons are already rejoicing at McCain’s nomination and working on ways to allude to his physical debility sneaked into the public consciousness with biased media tributes to “The Chemo President” and/or “The Melanoma Kid”. Cancer is something you wouldn’t wish on anybody. But with the liberal media, exceptions can be made.
There is no intelligent design at work here. The election will determine the triumph of one blunt mentality over another. A Hillary/McCain contest would resemble two street walkers fighting over turf. Irrespective of which one is elected, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad will kick in the ass. If it’s Hillary we will just have given him a bigger target.
John McCain suffers from delusions of adequacy. It will be no surprise if he shows up for his first State of the Union Speech wearing a miter and carrying a papal staff. Neither cancer nor captivity has given John McCain humility. Being humbled by Hillary Clinton may be what it finally takes. After all, it worked on her husband. Should that be the likelihood we will weep as a nation – but not for John McCain.
Screw John McCain and the plane he crashed in on.
***
I thought hose your nose was very appropriate.
I think it will turn on the Democrats crossover vote.
As the Democratic fight bloodies up, more and more of the losers of the Dem primary could turn to McCain. He is one of them anyway.
I still expect McCains first act as President elect will be to change parties and become a Democrat.
larry
I think that they’re just envious that he presents a much more attractive candidacy for the libs than either of their two losers...;’}
...which would raise the median IQ of both parties.
“The Grand Old Party has become the Death Wish Party. They have made the Senate into an intellectual pygmy village...
....
The Senate is a whorehouse and McCain is the one whose virtue all the Democrat members attest to. What an endorsement! “
It’s time to resurrect term-limits.
“I have yet to hear the liberals say a bad thing about McCain- that’s a bad sign”
He IS their Manchurian candidate. Even if they lose, they win with McCain.
Time to send out the *Dear John* letter.
bttt
I think the liberals are salivating over the thought of McCain getting the GOP nomination. It's a dream come true for them, they know he's a horrible candidate who will lose, probably in a huge way.
it’s possible that McCain’s present position will humble him enough to take hold of his conservative side and team up with a much younger and stronger conservative as vp. I still believe that his core principles are a big enough contrast to Obummer’s, that he will do well in the coming debates. We need to make the best of this because the alternative is really bad. My first choice was Thompson but I think he didn’t wake up until it was too late.
I think he was being simply too nice to her. We don’t stand much of a chance at all if she or Obama gets in and they will rapidly demasulate our intelligence and military strength. I don’t think it’s wise to let that happen. With McCain, he still has some conservative leanings and can at least be pressured to do right, such as back down from the latest amnesty debauckle. Also, we are at war , even though most of us don’t feel the effect of it right now. McCain would be a far better commander than the liberals. It’s not wrong to vote for someone who still has some conscience in order to avoid certain calamity from the left. At least we will still have a fighting chance.
John McCain: George Soros’ Useful Idiot
http://www.theconservativevoice.com/article/30556.html
McCain’s Reform Institute donor list, note the Tides Foundation:
http://reforminstitute.org/about/AboutDonors.aspx
Sen. McCain; past Chairman pf the Reform Institute:
http://www.reforminstitute.org/about/about.aspx
you’re welcome...we can hold McCain’s feet to the fire to close the border and with hopefully a majority back in congress, the republicans will finally fix the illegal alien problem. The last outcry was huge from the public and it will continue.
When McCain said the people don’t care if we are in Iraq for a very long time, he obviously didn’t mean still at war but in some degree there helping them, just as we are in Germany and other friendly countries. Ron Paul will lower our defenses domestically with the much needed surveilance techniques and pull us out of Iraq right away regardless of the huge sacrifice of so many very brave souls. I don’t think that is a good or strong position at all but is born of weakness of some sort. All it will take is for the islamic whackos to be successful in one big bomb attack in one of our cities and we will be in very deep doodoo and we would suffer horrible lose of life. We are at war and there alot of good people doing alot of work to keep the brainwashed enemy from destroying our country. We tend to discount that because our lives go on as usual.
uummm, McCain at least says he gets it now and will build the border fence. I hope employer enforcement will be included too. But how is getting Obama going to possibly put an end to the open border? If what you really want is a more secure republic, then splitting the conservative vote is not the way to go.
And some of your ponits about the war really don’t make sense. We are spending far more propping up our huge entitlement programs than our war effort and McCain has a histroy of doing something about that problem. That is one of his main points as it was for Thompson. And, by the way, we are being very successful in spreading democracy in Iraq as is being shown everyday there. The Iraq’s are loving America alot...it’s awefull that the msm is only interested in the bad news and actually wants us to fail. I think you are listening to Ron Paul’s isolationist ideas too much. It’s way too late for that as we have been attacked many times by the islamic whackos, finally we are fighting back...thank God. If Hitler was dealt with immediately by some brave european forces, world war two would have been avoided.
a list I am on went for McCain, the moderators that is. They think I am a great traitor because I am not a McCain supporter.
I get a kick out of watching their posts. They only post anti Hill and Obama rants, never give any positive reason for voting for McCain. Only reason to vote for him is that they want to keep the Dems out.
That wont cut any ice for me.
I think the Liberal Republicans pushing McCain are in for a big surprise this year. I think it will be a massacre in November.
Running Liberals as Republicans cheapens the brand name and is self defeating, no different than a store selling shoddy merchandise with no warranty and expecting customer loyalty and repeat sales. It does not work.
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