Posted on 02/14/2008 6:25:05 AM PST by reaganaut1
About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadn’t met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.
“Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: we’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).
(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...
The #1 thing I look for in a woman is balance. After that it’s wisdom - the ability to think and judge.
What I find to be the problem with most women is they don’t understand balance. There are too many ‘mode’ women out there - women that conform themselves to a certain image. Most women I run into are either skank or absolute obsessive compulsive anal princess, especially with the kids. Or some other kneejerk, inflexible caricature they’re trying to be.
I want a woman that can go to church and have a beer from time to time. Someone who’s a good mom, but knows when to drop the kids at grandmas so we have a night on the town. Someone who’s independent enough to make decisions, but considerate enough to keep me in the loop on the important things BEFORE she goes off and does them. Someone who knows what’s important in a man and relationship and what’s not.
Most women I meet simply are not balanced. They live in their little world, their little way of doing things, their little social subculture, their little experiences. They have no ability to get beyond themselves and their little lives and actually get along with someone who’s not exactly like them.
Which is why they never find a man - because no one is exactly like them. They want an object, not a person, and they stopped growing so long ago and are so set in their ways they simply don’t have the interpersonal skills anymore to relate to someone.
You still have time for marriage and may it be everything you hoped for and then some!
: )
The prospects of dating, even if one does finally give up are hopeless.
Is their such a thing as PTSD for the married?
I have seen threads like that and the entertainment factor is priceless.
“I don’t know if I’m quite part of this club yet, but I’m filling in the membership form even as we speak. And I’m only 4 years removed from college...”
Don’t worry if it is a bit depressing at first, you will soon start to feel much more at peace about a lot of things. It is rather empowering.
Yes, there is....been there done that....
You can and will survive.
Freepmail me if you need to.
Cuz Mr. Glock keeps whisperin' to me.
(No not really, I'm just bummed today.)
So you’re saying that you would marry a woman like the author of this column, bastard and all?
Have a great life as a doormat.
I'm sorry it didn't work out for you Laz. You sounded awfully happy there for awhile.
I think the article points out that women need men as much as men need women. The sterile lives that these people live is disgusting.
If it were me, I'd use this thread to meet other Freepers of like mind...
Funny, every time I'm annoyed with my husband, these threads tend to pop up and I remember how fabulously lucky I am.
Damn it.
I tend to think that married people are messed up.....they are needy, fell out of the norm or afraid to be alone....they can’t live life without depending on someone (like the liberals depend on government).
Agreed, though I wouldn't suggest lizards. We women like warm, cuddly things as our child substitutes.
To any unattached ladies out there who may be reading this:
Take it from me -a mom of four- that even WITH a father, bringing up a child is the hardest, most exhausting you can ever do. Once you're a mother you will never ever sleep 100% soundly again.
Forget about having even one child without a father. It's impossible to do it well. Your child will grow up with a hole in his or her soul from not knowing his or her father. For that reason it is evil to do it intentionally.
I have a single, female, 42-yr old friend who is all that you just described. If she meets a man who is handsome and successful, he isn’t “spirital enough” for her. If she meets a man who is handsome and religious, he doesn’t make enough money. Etc. She has even dated a few guys who seemed to meet all the criteria, yet she’d pick them apart on something like “He doesn’t yearn to travel the world like I do!”
She also has a lot of issues regarding her diet. She is a food Nazi.
Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social (and sometimes nostalgic) aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.
Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.
Thanks for posting that DB link.
Quite hilarious!!!
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