Posted on 01/17/2008 9:44:33 AM PST by Alex Murphy
Because I'm a Mormon, I will pick on Mormons first. Frankly, a lot of us are mired so deep in the LDS culture that we haven't a clue how to make friends with people who aren't carbon copies of us.
Today's column is a primer on how to make friends with a gentile. A problem exists in large part because of how we categorize other people. There's the word - non, gentile, other - that we use to refer to people who aren't us. Sometimes we never get past it.
For example, my friend Sonny is a non-Mormon. For some Mormons, that would be the first thing Sonny is. For stupid Mormons, it's the only thing he ever will be.
Sonny is other stuff, too. Mostly he's nuts. This makes him the perfect friend for me. The only time religion ever comes between us is when I pray while Sonny does whatever the hell it is that normal people call driving.
Not all Mormons are fortunate to have such high-quality non-Mormon friends. Well, they don't just happen. You have to make them. But first, you have to recognize the need.
Next time you're having a party, look around the room. How many non-Mormons do you see? If most of the people in the room are from your ward, you need some gentile in your life. Bad.
No fair using token gentiles, either. Co-workers, neighbors and the guy who fixes your car do not count. They have to be real friends, the sort of people you want to hang with.
The first thing you need to do is get over your booze phobia. Not all gentiles drink, but enough of them do, so you can't let this be a sticking point in a friendship.
Alcohol is not inherently bad. Overindulgence is bad. And that's something that cuts both ways. You don't want a drunk for a friend any more than a gentile wants a priss for one. If you draw the line at offering alcohol to your new friend, at least learn what BYOB means. I have to bring my own diet Coke to Sonny's house.
Next, be prepared for the conversation to wander outside the ward boundaries. Lots of really interesting people don't have a clue what happened in Relief Society last week, and they don't count it as a loss.
Be respectful of your friends' religious beliefs. They might be Catholic, Druid, Jewish or, heck, maybe even Southern Baptist. Belief is relative, and yours is every bit as bizarre.
And cool it with the missionary effort, OK? The only thing that ruins a friendship faster than sex, money or politics is religion. Frankly, if your friend ever does choose to convert, it's always better if it's in spite of rather than because of you.
It won't be easy. You can't treat making friends with gentiles like another church assignment. The common interest doesn't come built in. You have to find it.
Best of all, it will be worth it.
Really? I didn’t even read it. I thought it was more “ripped off” Mormon scripture.
Let me summarize it: Any way you slice the pie you are wrong because of how you do it.
?????????????????
OK.
My kitchen table has fleas, when I slice it, for the polish, because that is how you do it.
It is very hard for me to understand what it would be like socialising with only mormons. Is that really what happens in some places?
I guess I find it strange, because my whole life has seen me immersed with people who are majority unbelievers.
At my father’s funeral, we asked a mormon friend to give the eulogy. He did a wonderful job. I have to say the service was a bit odd.
My father is a baptist. My mom, and her family, Anglican. I’m Catholic. The fellow giving the eulogy was a mormon, and the reverend we asked to perform the service was traditional anglican and had left the church and resigned his position where we wanted the service to be held.
When a friend of mine passed away at 21, I spoke for his funeral in a mormon temple, (his family were unbelievers), but they insisted on helping out the family and offered the temple for their use.
I guess it’s just been my experience. Is my family that strange?
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