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nghtmrchld26
http://p223.ezboard.com/fexpentecostalforumsfrm7.showMessage?topicID=1764.topic
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Posts: 29
(5/30/07 10:37 pm)
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Crying all alone in pain in the nightmare of christianity...

welcome to our nightmare.......

Crying all alone in pain losing all reserve….I can’t wake up out of this nightmare........
Insane? Am I the only @#%$ with a brain?........

Maze...psychopathic daze...I create this waste
Back away from tangents, on the verge of drastic
ways...can’t escape this place...I deny your face
Sweat gets in my eyes, I think I’m slowly dying

Put me in a homemade cellar
Put me in a hole for shelter
Someone hear me please, all I see is hate
I can hardly breathe, and I can hardly take it!

HANDSONMYFACEOVERBEARINGICAN’TBREAKOUT!
Lost...ran at my own cost...hearing laughter, scoffed
Learning from the rush, detached from such and such
Bleak...all around me, weak...listening, incomplete
I am not a dog, but I’m the one your dogging……

I am crying here in a buried kennel
I have never felt so final
Someone find me please, losing all reserve
I am @#%$ gone, I think I’m @#%$ dying
HANDSONMYFACEOVERBEARINGICAN’TGETOUT!

You all stare, but you’ll never see
There is something inside me
You all stare, but you’ll never see
There is something in you I despise

Cut me! show me! beat me! molest me! abuse me! @#%$ me! hate me! break me! Rape me! kill me!
Here is my purity……
Enter this nightmare…..I am willing and able and never any danger to myself
Knowledge in my pain, knowledge in my pain, just....@#%$ acknowledge all my pain, acknowledge all my pain.....knowledge in my pain......
Or was my tolerance a phase?
Empathy! out of my way!
I can’t die.....I can’t die.....I can’t die.....trancing out into another dark reality as the pain fades away....my purity.....
You all stare, but you’ll never see
There is something inside me
You all stare, but you’ll never see
There is something in you I despise.....
have you ever seen God?......have you ever seen God?
have you ever......

__________________________________________
Mister Crowley.......

nghtmrchld26

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Posts: 12
(3/14/07 8:52 pm)
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pentecostal insanity regarding media/entertainment

Growing up, TV, Internet/computers, video games, music, Christian contemporary music, movies and books were all extremely restricted. All those things carried this……mystique about them. They were like these mythical things imbued with incredible power straight from Satan, all run by Satanist covens operating out of Hollywood, Washington D.C.(when Bill Clinton was in office), and abortion clinics. Except there was one problem…………the senior pastor and his close church friends and their families all watched TV/Cable TV, had the internet, listened to at least some non-Christian music and all listened to CCM, video games(including those satanic “T” and “M” rated ones), and all, especially the senior pastor, had “R” Movie collections. Me and some of the other non-elite church youth and members asked about these contradictions but never received any answers.

I still remember how we were told that “The Simpsons” was a very evil and Satanic TV show with the intent of causing people to leave Christianity (as if that’s a bad thing). As a teenager my mother had the TV tuner removed by a TV technician so that it could only receive from the AV inputs, meaning, could only watch VHS and DVDs. I remember me and the other church youth would go over to the Senior pastor’s house and ask to watch the very same movie that his 10 year old son or daughter had told us they’d watch and be told “sorry guys, that’s rated ‘R,’ it’s not Godly.” Of course we’d ask “but then why do you have it?” Sometimes he’d lie, other times he’d just say “sorry…you can’t.”

I remember wanting to listen to Christian music and be told by my parents and other church members that we couldn’t, EVEN THOUGH the senior pastor’s and other church leader’s families did.

Internet was treated as one of Satan’s special weapons in the “end-times” to promote sex(which everyone knows is of the Devil…..) Everyone was terrified that one of us teenagers *might* get a glimpse of a naked body and become demon possessed. This always confused me for how can viewing what God designed be satanic at the same time? And if we “lust” are the demons able to read our thoughts and somehow *know* to seize upon us? Isn’t it possible to see nudity without *lusting* somehow? Of course, the senior pastor’s two oldest children, one male the other female, got someone pregnant and got pregnant; the other two younger ones were proven to be sexually active. Other church leader’s children were sexually active.

Music was VERY restricted of course. We got all kinds of lectures on how Satanist covens had some kind of backmasking technology and were partnered with all the artists, including Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, Britney Spears, Madonna and N’sync. Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith were said be in on it too…even though the “elite” members of the church listened to them. Growing up, I was restricted to listening to….sermons on the radio or through tapes.

Books were VERY restricted. We were only allowed to read Christian books and forced to memorize the bible. When Harry Potter came out we were all given lectures about how “we’re living in the end times and Satan is trying to capture the children and make them all witches!!!!” I knew of a few people who got harassed for letting their kids read Harry Potter.

I remember with all these different forms of media it was like I was always in Mission Impossible. We were either at church or being brainwashed in Christian home school. When we did have free time…we were either forced to pray, read the bible, do chores, or…..well nothing since we were not allowed to do anything. We were all being trained to “become the future of Christianity.” “The chosen generation that is going to turn America back to God in these last days.”
“The chosen generation who are going to become great prophets and pastors and evangelists and missionaries in the world.”
“The chosen generation who are going to take over the world and do away with everyone else’s false satanic religion and take dominion until Jesus returns!!!!!!”

Well, I got all fed up with the insanity, hypocrisy, conflicting doctrines, the and lack of absolute answers in regards to “salvation,” heaven and hell and other theological issues, the child abuse, brainwashing, lies, gossip, scandals, threats and fear mongering. I got tired of always hearing “oooohh, you’re saved by grace, not by works!” “Everybody loves you! Jesus loves you!” only to hear about how I was going to hell for watching “The simpsons” or could lose my salvation and could never be certain if 30 years from now I might lose it due to some odd sin and die in an accident and end up in this eternal hell preached to us day and night.

Me, I found a new Law to live by and I realized……I don’t have to be abused nor submit to these liars and their lies nor do I have to be afraid of this make-believe hell and false theory of salvation which no fundamentalist Christian could ever give solid answers on.

Me and many others are waking up.
We will rise up above and against these abuses against humanity.
Men will no longer be ruled by fear and superstition, oppressed by bigotry and tyranny.

______________________________________________
Every man and every woman is a star

Edited by: nghtmrchld26 at: 3/15/07 8:43 am
http://p223.ezboard.com/fexpentecostalforumsfrm7.showMessage?topicID=1656.topic