The carbon offset scam

Via the Wall Street Journal's OpinionJournal

The water pump in question was BANNED in british prisons about 100 years ago. Now, environmental extremists want peasents in India and other countries to use it for irrigating their crops!

Eco-Slavery is was Taranto called it I believe.

Eco-Slavery.... good description.

That would make Al Gore the Planetational Eco-Overseer, yes?

This is just wrong. Eco-slavery is a good term for this scheme.

“So is carbon offsetting the best way to ease your conscience?”

Probably not, but it has the added benefit of being a great excuse to send Algore a check.

As if the all the money will really get to India.

Its such an open-faced scam.

Wow, the developing world is actually being denied modern conveniences so the executives can pollute? Too wrong for words. Can it possibly be efficient to produce food by manual labor alone rather than having modern irrigation?

I’m not going to build a coal fired electrical plant in my back yard this year. That should entitle me to several tons of carbon credits. I think I’ll give each freeper in good standing one pound of carbon credit from the supply I have just created.

Nothing but a scam to allow the Al Gore’s and the hollywood limo libs to maintain their ridiculously extragant energy-squandering lifestyles at the expense of the little people. Any fool stupid enough to swallow this crap deserves to walk everywhere.

When is algorical going to send me a check for the 200 trees on my property?

Opps, 199 trees. I cut one down for fire wood.

Carbon offsets are like buying a can of air freshener every time you buy a can of beans.

I burn old tires to offset the fact that my car is a Ultra-Low Emissions Vehicle (ULEV).

It's all about balance.

When I first started to hear Carbon Offset and Carbon Credits, I was stunned at the idiocy of those who bought into it. It was clear anyone with a IQ higher then a shoe size could figure out this to be a shame. Then again we are talking about Liberals. So I created www.carboncreditdepot.com the only web source for Designer Carbon Credits

I sat there a year ago...trying find a simple way to explain to a southerner how carbon credits work. So I finally sat down and wrote this comparison....using ROADKILL.

First....a bunch of folks around Bama (actually only 1,000)....came to a conclusion that there were simply too much roadkill in Bama. Didn’t matter about how much....it was just too much.

So they started their statistical collections....county by county...all 67. Since they didn’t invite the state police, the Baptists, the junior college folks or members of the Bama football team....it wasn’t a pure scientific survey...if you know what I mean.

Friends of Roadkill, Friends of Raccoons, the Green Society, the Gorical Clan (head by Al), the Beavers of Baldwin County Society, and the Rattlesnake Foundation of Coosa County were the participants. They came to a grand meeting in Gadsden. It was held at the Motel Six complex there. It was a lively crowd...at least on Friday night when free booze was provided by the Gorical Clan. They talked and talked....and finally on Sunday afternoon....they came to an agreement.

The following weekend....they got a bunch of county commissioners from around the state to come in and discuss the matter. The governor thought it was a swell idea and the Lt Governor just gushed and grinned while the whole thing was being discussed. The interesting thing was...no political genius from the Bama senate or legislature....thought this was smart and all voted against any formal signing. So the day came for the real signing ceremony....where all the county commissioners signed on....but the governor was out of the state....at some bass tournament in New Orleans. The Lt Governor was around....but was having some horses shoed....and just did a interview saying how he thought this was fine. The Attorney General signed for the governor....but no one remembered keeping the signed paperwork after the ceremony in Gadsden.

So it was decided that each county had a problem with roadkill. Some counties had a real serious problem. And some counties barely had any issue whatsoever.

So each were assigned positive or negative roadkill credits. Ifing you were negative....you either improved your situation...or you bought enough positive roadkill credits from the other 66 counties to make up for your situation.

So Lauderdale came up...and sure enough....there were in the worst possible case. Minus 1,000 roadkill credits. Now.....you must realize this....Lauderdale has a big huge woods situation....lots of paved roads....and heavy traffic by folks going to the state-line where booze is allowed to be served. Hint: the Baptists may have rigged Lauderdale’s numbers....but you can’t prove it.

Now out in Marshall county...they had alot of lake and river acreage....and less paved roads. Strangely enough....they had a positive situation of 1100 roadkill credits. Further down in Greene county....poor as poor can be...they had alot less vehicles and less roads....so naturally....they had less roadkill....and a positive situation of 1300 roadkill credits....which was the best case in the state.

So Lauderdale’s county commission met....and decided they needed to either have less roadkill (meaning less speed or less vehicles, in their mind)....or pay to buy positive roadkill credits. Since this being an open-market vehicle....on day-one....Marshall credits were going for $200 per credit so Lauderdale needed $200k to buy all them roadkill credits from Marshall....but they waited. As the weeks went by.....Marshall found more desperate people and sold at $300 per credit. Lauderdale finally ended up with Green county credits....paying down 50 percent now and 50 percent in six months.....at $250 a credit....so they paid total.....$250k.

So then the county commission had to figure how to spread this cost around....since they finally realized that they’d just attach it to the vehicle tax. That made things real simple for them.

So Greene county got this $250k....and they went out and started getting matching funds....and built more roads through the county. As time went by....the credits went up...to $500 a credit. Naturally....people just kept paying....why stop now.

The folks who collected data for the roadkill statistics.....naturally went back each year.....and found no real changes. Well....to be honest....they found that Greene county drastically climbed up on roadkill numbers after three years....but then they had a special graphical display which showed the change of geese migration and higher amounts of sunshine....which only occurred in Greene county apparently.....so the numbers didn’t really change. Them Lauderdale folks were peeved about this....but fair is unfair....as they say in Gadsden. The Green folks talked passionately about roadkill and how it weren’t right. Them furry animals deserve more of a chance in life. We are destroying our forests and woodlands.

Eventually....religious groups like the Baptists got fully involved and preached about the furry creatures....telling us the gift of God and how we are responsible. They had prayer session on Wed night.....hoping some folks would more frequent that requirement.

Some politicians started running under the roadkill theme.....less roadkill....better nature. No one discussed lessening the roadkill credits.....those had to continue on. Meanwhile....the Governor moved on and a new Governor came in....and the first thing he said....this was the dumbest thing he ever heard of. Some folks started talking about the fact that this new governor hadn’t signed the agreement....then some folks realized that all the signed papers were already turned in and weren’t no need for more dimwits to sign a old form.

So finally one day.....a group of 400 Lauderdale hunters said to hell with this....bought 56,000 rounds of ammo....and killed every varmint in the entire county. It was referred to as the “great Shoals Saturday”. They didn’t talk much about the episode. The folks around the county kept their mouths shut....and waited.

Spring came....the roadkill folks came to collect data. Not a single bit of roadkill in Lauderdale over seven days. It was physically impossible. There were special county officials walking with the Green inspectors. The inspectors could not fix up fake numbers this time. Lauderdale was given a positive ranking of 4000 positive credits and proceeded to sell these for $500 per credit. $2 million came to the county.

The next year....another Saturday walk and every animal killed. Another $2 million came to the county.

By this point....Greene county folks were suspicious and found some Friends of Jesus is Green....and sent them up to check out Lauderdale. The Baptists tried to trip them up....but these folks were more Yankee than Bama.....and they discovered the entire episode.

By this point.....the folks in Montgomery came to realize that this was all a farce.....the credits didn’t do nothing....and besides....Lauderdale was now cleared out of any animal life completely....which was never the intention of the whole episode. The real intention....if you didn’t understand....was to take money from rich folks in Lauderdale....and send it to Greene county....where folks is poor as poor. So once this scheme was figured out...and had nothing to do with roadkill.....the whole thing went down the drain.

You’d be thinking this is all settled now....no more roadkill taxes....no more fees. But Lauderdale....having killed off all the local critters....now have hunters with nothing to hunt. So they mostly go hunt down in Greene county now....drink cheap beer and ribs there....and stay at a local Motel Six on highway 41. We’s all good friends about this and them Greene county folks are friendly about sharing hunting critters.

So....when some fella comes around....talking carbon credits....sit there for a moment....and think about what you is buying and what you are getting in the end. Baptists would like to say one hand washes the other....but in the environmental world.....its more like taking $80 out of your billfold for some trashy trailer-park gal who sips bourbon from the bottle...who winks at you.....unbuttons the top three buttons...then just turns and walks away. If you stand there long enough and think about it.....you really didn’t get anything but eye candy. Maybe that makes you happy....but it ain’t worth much in the real world.

Indian farmers in other words, are forced to rely on medieval production technology so rich Westerners can feel better about their high living lifestyles. No modern agricultural implements for them. Have you cared to guess why? It might increase global warming, of course! This how caring liberals exploit the world's poor with their scams.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus