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My daughter just sent this email to me. Her boyfriend wrote it. I thought it was pretty good.

>
> The speech George W. Bush SHOULD give:
>
> Normally, I start these things out by saying “My
> Fellow Americans.”
> Not doing it this time. If the polls are any
> indication, I don’t know
> who more than half of you are anymore. I do know
> something terrible
> has happened, and that you’re really not fellow
> Americans any longer.
>
> I’ll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before
> anyone gets all
> in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment,
> or to avoid
> prosecution or something, let me assure you: there’s
> been no breaking of
> laws or impeachable offenses in this office.
>
> The reason I’m quitting is simple. I’m fed up with
> you people.
>
> I’m fed up because you have no understanding of
> what’s really going
> on in the world. Or of what’s going on in this
> once-great nation of
> ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to
> do your homework
> and figure it out.
>
> Let’s start local. You’ve been sold a bill of goods
> by politicians
> and the news media. Polls show that the majority of
> you think the
> economy is in the tank. And that’s despite record
> numbers of homeowners
> including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And
> while we’re
> mentioning minorities, I’ll point out that minority
> business ownership
> is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as
> low as it ever was
> during the Clinton Administration. I’ve mentioned
> all those things
> before, but it doesn’t seem to have sunk in.
>
> Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock
> market has
> rebounded to record levels and more Americans than
> ever are
> participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you
> can do is whine about
> gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to
> realize that gas
> prices are high because there’s increased demand in
> other parts of the
> world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots
> are more worried
> about polar bears and beachfront property than your
> economic security.
>
> We face real threats in the world. Don’t give me
> this “blood for
> oil” thing. If I was trading blood for oil I
> would’ve already seized
> Iraq’s oil fields and let the rest of the country go
> to hell. And don’t
> give me this ‘Bush Lied People Died’ crap either. If
> I was the liar you
> morons take me for, I could’ve easily had chemical
> weapons planted in
> Iraq so they could be ‘discovered. ‘ Instead, I
> owned up to the fact that
> the intelligence was faulty. Let me remind you that
> the rest of the
> world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let
> me also remind you
> that regime change in Iraq was official US policy
> before I came into
> office. Some guy named ‘Clinton’ established that
> policy. Bet you didn’t
> know that, did you?
>
> You idiots need to understand that we face a unique
> enemy. Back
> during the cold war, there were two major competing
> political and
> economic models squaring off. We won that war, but
> we did so because
> fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive,
> just as we do. We were
> simply able to outspend and out-tech them.
>
> That’s not the case this time. The soldiers of our
> new enemy don’t
> care if they survive. In fact, they want to die.
> That’d be fine, as long
> as they weren’t also committed to taking as many of
> you with them as
> they can. But they are. They want to kill you. And
> the bastards are all
> over the globe.
>
> You should be grateful that they haven’t gotten any
> more of us here
> in the United States since September 11. But you’re
> not. That’s because
> you’ve got no idea how hard a small number of
> intelligence, military,
> law enforcement and homeland security people have
> worked to make sure of
> that. When this whole mess started, I warned you
> that this would be a
> long and difficult fight. I’m disappointed how many
> of you people think
> a long and difficult fight amounts to a single
> season of ‘Survivor’.
> Instead, you’ve grown impatient. You’re incapable of
> seeing things
> through the long lens of history, the way our
> enemies do. You think that
> wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.
>
> Making matters worse, you actively support those who
> help the enemy.
> Every time you buy the New York Times, every time
> you send a donation to
> a cut-and-run Democrat’s political campaign, well,
> dammit, you might
> just as well Fedex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist.
> It amounts to the
> same thing.
>
> In this day and age, it’s easy enough to find the
> truth. It’s all
> over the Internet. It just isn’t on the pages of the
> New York Times or
> on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you’d be
> any smarter. Most of
> you would rather watch American Idol.
>
> I could say more about your expectations that the
> government will
> always be there to bail you out, even if you’re too
> stupid to leave a
> city that’s below sea level and has a hurricane
> approaching. I could say
> more about your insane belief that government, not
> your own wallet, is
> where the money comes from. But I’ve come to the
> conclusion that were I
> to do so, it would sail right over your heads.
>
> So I quit. I’m going back to Crawford. I’ve got an
> energy-efficient
> house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the
> capability to be
> fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford
> before I got
> elected, and as soon as I’m done here pretty much no
> one will ever hear
> of it again. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to die of
> old age before the
> last pillars of America fall.
>
> Oh, and by the way, Cheney’s quitting too. That
> means the smiling,
> vacuous nitwit Pelosi is your new President. You
> asked for it. Watch
> what she does carefully, because I still have a
> glimmer of hope that
> there’re just enough of you remaining who are smart
> enough to turn this
> thing around in 2008.
>
> So that’s it. God bless what’s left of America. Some
> of you know
> what I mean. The rest of you, buzz off.