Posted on 05/02/2007 9:07:26 AM PDT by raccoonradio
First, a prediction about the impending release of the D.C. madam’s client list:
Barney Frank will not be implicated in this sex scandal.
But when will these fools in Washington ever learn? They think they’re so damn smart, but they gave their cell phone numbers to a madam - a convicted pimp, no less, whose boyfriend once had a restraining order out on her.
Two words, smart guys: trade up. Never do, or say, anything incriminating to anyone who can trade you up to the prosecutors if or when, and it’s always when, they get lugged.
Don’t they teach such basic life lessons in the schools anymore? By the 10th grade, every youth should know never to say anything to anybody that he or she wouldn’t mind reading in transcript form on the front page of the newspaper.
But these Beltway boobs couldn’t be bothered with simple precautions, and now they’re busted. A convicted pimp has their cell phone numbers, and guess what. She’s trying to trade up.
Imagine how many names and cell phone numbers ABC News must have if they can hold off, in the middle of ratings sweeps, for days, until a Friday night, when hardly anyone is watching TV. Must be a lot of Democrats among the johns.
If only they had heeded the immortal words of former West End boss Martin Lomasney: Never write when you can speak. Never speak when you can nod. Never nod when you can wink.
And never, ever give a pimp your cell phone number. And nowadays when somebody mentions looking for love in all the wrong places, that includes the Internet. Just as that nice hit man you hire to kill your spouse invariably turns out to be an undercover state cop, that 13-year-old in the chatroom is likewise a member of the local constabulary. Talk about shooting fish in a barrel, even Miss America is getting into the Internet act.
When he was mayor of Cincinnati, Jerry Springer wrote a check to a prostitute. That was mistake No. 1. Mistake No. 2 was, the check bounced. In Springer’s case, it turned out to be a great career move. But most guys ensnared in scandals like this end up moving back home with their parents.
Every day it’s a new scandal. Last week it was the coach of the female BC hockey team. His career was ended by X-rated text messages from his top player. Then there was the married Pepsi executive, fired from his $6 million job after a woman he was going after on the Internet suddenly decided she needed some cash. That was in the paper yesterday, along with a TV babe who got caught sending photos of herself in a bikini to a married cameraman.
Guess what - the lensman and his spouse had a joint e-mail account. How quaint is that!
Unlike Vegas, what happens on the Internet does not stay on the Internet. Lovin’ here, livin’ there, lyin’ in between - it’s never been easy, but it seems like your average hack used to take more precautions.
The rule at the State House was very simple. Your girlfriend never worked for you. She worked for the chairman of another legislative committee, and in return, you employed his girlfriend. The same rules, in other words, that clerk-magistrates use in hiring one another’s offspring.
If you’re in TV, never let the girlfriend stand behind you in a liveshot.
Whatever line of work you’re in, don’t “mentor” anyone of the opposite sex. On second thought, don’t mentor anyone, period.
Here’s how that was explained to me many years ago by a pol at City Hall: If they see you twice with a woman, you’re bleeping her. If they see you twice with a guy, you’re gay. If they see you twice with a drink, you’re a drunk.
And if all else fails, there’s always saltpeter.
Howie column ping
Dam.......it’s gettin so a guy can’t have any fun any more without being on someone elses list.
Old proverb:
Never give a man a club, if there is any chance he might use it on you...........
I wonder if any of these guys ever heard the old proverb,”A smart fox doesn’t eat his chickens too close to home”?
!!!! One of the funniest Monty Python sketches of all time!
I disagree with a lot of this column... and I think everyone here should too. He explains over and over that you should never do anything wrong if you might get caught.
That is sleazy. The correct response is just never do anything wrong.
The one thing he got right was when he said ‘never do anything you would not want to see on the news’. That is good advice.
BUMP!
Never read Howie before?
You have to take Howie’s column’s in their proper context in order to get the wit and the laughs. When he writes, he is often in character as a friendly advisor to scumbag politicians. He doesn’t advocate doing the wrong thing - - he just presumes that doing the wrong thing is a way of life for the scumbag politicians and Howie is just trying to be “helpful”.
Regards,
LH
> I disagree with a lot of this column... and I think everyone here should too. He explains over and over that you should never do anything wrong if you might get caught.
He’s making fun of the pols, not dispensing advice to you and me. As a journalist Carr has made a career of exposing political fraud and corruption and written a book on the close ties of politicians to the Boston mob.
Reportedly she told her hoes to not keep records. She seems to have done so strictly for blackmail.
Wonder which clients are in her “top 5” cellphone plan.
There's a safe bet!
This is Massachusetts, to be a pol is a good predictor of future felon status. Everyone is for sale, fairly cheap too. If you are looking for honesty and intelligence in a legislative body don’t look at the Great and General Court of the Commonwealth.
hmm OK - I get it now. Much more enjoyable this way.
Howie’s Brothers Bulger book mentioned a whole bunch of
legislators in the old says who had “a photo finish with a grand jury”.
Rules of MA politics:
Nothing on the level.
Everything is a deal.
No deal too small.
old DAYS
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