Posted on 04/25/2007 4:17:01 PM PDT by goodnesswins
Edited on 04/25/2007 5:05:13 PM PDT by Sidebar Moderator. [history]
How To Fight
December 20th, 2006
The summer I turned 6 years old, some of the neighborhood boys started bullying me. Back then, I owned a pair of cabbage patch kid roller-skates and my favorite activity was skating around the block singing nursery rhymes at the top of my lungs. One day, a few boys in the 8-10 range thought it would be pretty humorous to push me around and watch me flail. I tried to run from them, but I couldn’t skate faster than they could run. They taunted me for a while and then knocked me down. Angry, humiliated, and with two freshly skinned knees, I did what any 6 year old girl would do in my position.
I went home and told my Dad.
My Father was an ex marine and always preached the benefits of learning self defense. Unlike most parents, he had no interest in calling the parents of my bullies to ‘open up a dialogue’ or some other such tripe. Instead, he planned to teach me to kick a little [butt]. My Mother balked at this idea. She didn’t think little girls should be fighting. Little girls were supposed to have tea parties and then play dress up. Fighting was for little boys.
“What if someday a vicious serial killer kidnaps her?” my Father asked, “Do you want her to die weeping and begging for her life? Or would you rather she have the courage to wrench the knife from the killer’s hand and stab him in the throat?”
He paused, mid tirade, and said to me, “If that ever happens, V, stab and twist. Stab and twist.”
With my Mother temporarily mollified, My Father took me into the back yard to teach me how to fight.
Nervously, I explained to my Father that not only was I outnumbered by the boys, but they were bigger and stronger than I was. There was no way that I could beat them. My Father merely brushed my fears aside. He said that while they had the advantage of size and strength on their side, I could develop my own advantages. Here are some tips that he gave me:
1. Always Respond to Threats with Complete Confidence Sometimes all it takes to make a bully re-think pounding you into a pulp is to make it very clear to him exactly how unafraid you are of a physical confrontation. When a bully threatens you, he is trying to invoke in you some fear in which he can feed off of. If you respond to his threats with confidence, even eagerness, it will give him a pause. If he doesn’t chicken out right then and there, he will enter the fight with a slight feeling of unease. His apprehension is your advantage.
2. Fighting Dirty is Fighting Smart A fist fight isn’t the same as a karate tournament with judges and points. Your opponent is trying to hurt you, so don’t let some silly moral argument prevent you from kicking the little bastard in the nuts. Throw sand in his eyes, kick him in the back of the knees, bite him, or punch him in the stomach hard enough to knock the wind out of him. If he’s got you pinned down and you happen to see a rock out of the corner of your eye? Don’t be afraid to grab that rock and smash his face with it. There is no shiny trophy waiting for you at the end of this fight, so everything goes.
3. Talk Some [Smack] Nothing will rattle your opponent faster than you screaming a steady stream of [smack] at him while you’re engaged in combat. The crazier you sound the better. If you can’t think of anything tough to yell, yell nonsense like, “I’m going to eat your eyes!” If you can’t think of any nonsense to yell, just plain scream. The second your opponent suspects that you’re a freaking lunatic he’s going to get scared. Fear causes people to make mistakes.
4. When You Lose, Claim It Didn’t Hurt Sometimes you’re just outmatched. But even losing a fight can be used to your advantage. When it’s over, feel free to spit blood in his face and tell him that it ‘didn’t hurt.’ Laugh when he walks away. You might have just gotten your [butt] kicked six ways from Sunday, but I guarantee you that anyone watching that fight will think twice about ever messing with you in the future. No one wants to [mess] with the crazy kid who feels no pain.
Armed with my new tips and tricks, I laced up my skates and headed out to face the jungle that is childhood. When the boys confronted me again, I dared them to mess with me. One ballsy kid lunged towards me with the intent of pushing me down. Quickly, I kicked that kid squarely between the legs with my skate. He crumpled to the ground as I hysterically screamed at his friends, “I’LL EAT YOUR EYES! I’LL EAT ALL OF YOUR EYES!” Terrified, those boys got up and ran like Hell. I’ve never felt so empowered in my entire life. In retrospect, I think my Father was just trying to teach me a little something about fear and courage. Back then, and even more so today, it became quite popular to advise your children to: Run. Hide. Look away. Go get someone bigger. Be afraid. As a result, modern children and adults alike are easily paralyzed by fear and have no idea how to defend themselves. After reading certain articles on my website, I’ve even seen people comment, “What is she going to do if she says the wrong thing to the wrong person? She’s going to end up getting hurt or killed.”
I feel sorry for those people. So paralyzed by fear of what might happen, that they lack the courage to stand up for themselves or for someone weaker. I refuse to live my life afraid to say what I feel or do what is right because there might be some mysterious villain lurking in the shadows who is bigger and stronger. Better to be dead, than to live your life afraid. Besides, I could just as easily spend my life acting meek and compliant only to still end up with a bullet in my head. However, because my Father taught me courage, it’s not likely that I’d go down without a fight. Who knows? I may even end up wrenching a knife from some psycho’s hands and stabbing him in the throat with it.
Of course, I’ll remember to stab and twist.
No such thing as a fair fight ,always fight to win. Equalizers work wonders .
FYI
Great post! A lot of wisdom from your Dad. I’ll remember that tip to stab and twist, thanks for passing that on.
My Dad taught me how to fight too. In grade school the neighborhood bully was consistently picking on my youngest brother. After a few ‘lessons’ from my Dad, he confronted the bully one afternoon and suggested he pick on someone his own size, and pointed to me...I kicked his butt...lol! My Dad was so proud.
While parts are entertaining from time to time, the entire blog is a very deep look into a very disturbed, selfish person. Read it at your own risk. YMMV.
I LOVE THIS ARTICLE! In middle school we were told in no uncertain terms that even if we did not start it, and there was no teachers in sight, that if we even attempt to defend my self, I will be suspended or possibly expelled. Thankfully my mom told me to do what I got to do, but I wonder how many parents reinforced such idiocy.
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my friend once repeated words of wisdom similar to these from one of the sitcoms on FOX...”Crazy beats strong every time.”
That was fun to read.
I taught my kids not to fight, but if they ever had to, fight to win.
One more thing....the writer refers to her father as an “ex marine.” Well, there is no such thing as an “ex” Marine. Once you are one, it’s for life.
And, the letter “m” is always capitalized when referring to a Marine.
Thanks for your post.
My son, growing up, was always a little shy and restrained. Of course, he was a convienient target for bullies. It was not unusual for him to come home with tears in his eyes. In the summer before he entered eighth grade, I enrolled him in karate class. The training helped my son’s self confidence enormously. Not long after school started again, his main tormentor was hospitalized with his jaw wired up in three places.
Somehow, my son never had any more trouble all through high school.
Oh yes. The school principal’s response to the incident: “Son, be careful. You’re stronger than you think.”
Great and timely re-post!
Way to go girly!!! Women need to defend themselves.
This mamma didn’t!
When my youngest was in middle school he came home complaining about a school employee’s kid who was always slamming heads in doors or lockers and tripping folks. I told him that he knew he’d get into trouble so he’d better get his money’s worth.
On one occasion, the principal even saw the kid trip him but only said, “Be nice, boys”.
A few days later, he came home and said, I did it and I’m glad!
Seems he took the kid out into the parking lot and cleaned his clock.
The principal called him out of class and read him the riot act as to how he’d behaved like a common criminal etc.
When he returned to class, they gave him a standing “O” and the teacher flipped the mike to the principal’s office open.
End of bullying!
when my son was 10 the neighbor kid was kicking him in the shins everyday and hitting him. My son would come home and say..”mom, i just remember what you always say...’just walk away’” my husband would then turn to me and glare.
I swear I said that once!!! when he was in preschool and it had something to do with namecalling!
Now my husband was looking at me as if i had personally emasculated his son!
so i gave him permission to have a “fight” with this kid.
He immediately called him up and said “meet me in the field between our houses” and they had a fist fight.
It wasn’t pretty but I was proud of my son for going, seeing it through and yet to this day I’m not sure how to judge the winner....my son was on the bottom more but he came home with less physical damage.
Uh, okay.....put it on my bill :>)
Didn’t mean to post and run....but had bunch of things to do.....Yes....I think this is a good lesson for kids, that unfortunately many (those without dads at home/involved, esp.) don’t learn.
I love this attitude. We don’t encourage this anymore.
My kids are suburnanites - they couldn’t fight their way out of a plastic bag if their life depended on it.
It’s my fault. I moved out of the ghetto and thought they’d be safe so I didn’t teach them how to defend themselves. But they’re ladies.
I grew up innercity. We learned how to defend ourselves because we had to - to survive. My dad taught me to fight, he also taught me to shoot to the consternation of my mom. But he taught me well. The only way to fight a bully is to fight back. I believe this 100%. And the right to bear arms is my right. My kids have no idea how to defend themselves. I go through the whole exercise with them (should they be approached by a stranger) but they don’t have a clue whereas I knew how to react should anyone approach me, at a very early age.
And like the post said, never cry or whine even when beat.
My dad used to tell me, before going out to play. “Don’t cause any trouble, but don’t take any shit off of anyone either”. I would also be punished if he heard of me not defending myself, and that was only one time, the first time. Even to this day, I’m not afraid of anyone, and would fight or even kill to protect my family or myself.
I guess it helps having a father who was a Viet Nam vet and may have learned something from it to pass on.
bttt
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