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help with a young child and loss of a pet (BIG TIME VANITY)

Posted on 04/17/2007 6:30:34 PM PDT by randyclark

I am much more of a lurker than a poster, but I have always respected and appreciated the thoughts of fellow conservatives here. I had to put down my German Shepherd recently, and my son of 2 1/2 years has been looking for him from time to time. I ask for any advice, as I try to keep this calm and reassuring for him. My son referred to him as the "black dragon" due to the size, jaw, and tail. The dog was 100 lbs of absolute loyalty, teeth and fur to my family. Thanks in advance to you all.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: children; dog; gsd
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1 posted on 04/17/2007 6:30:35 PM PDT by randyclark
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To: randyclark

Tell him the dog died, maybe get him a new one.


2 posted on 04/17/2007 6:32:53 PM PDT by spunkets ("Freedom is about authority", Rudy Giuliani, gun grabber)
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To: randyclark

Sorry your dog passed, but losing a child is unthinkable.


3 posted on 04/17/2007 6:33:38 PM PDT by jra
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To: randyclark

At his age, I would distract him by getting a new puppy. This doesn’t mean you can’t still talk about the old dog—just reassure him that Fido is in doggy heaven, and this new puppy is his, now. It worked for me when our kids were small.


4 posted on 04/17/2007 6:34:33 PM PDT by basil
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To: randyclark

I think the title is misleading...why don’t you ask the mods to change it. It sounds like you lost our son as well. But I don’t think that’s what you meant, right?


5 posted on 04/17/2007 6:34:47 PM PDT by Hildy ("man's reach exceeds his grasp"? It's a lie: man's grasp exceeds his nerve.)
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To: randyclark

Teach him how to lurk with you, that’ll take his mind off the dog.


6 posted on 04/17/2007 6:35:33 PM PDT by diogenes ghost
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To: randyclark

Get a new puppy and allow the child to pick the name.


7 posted on 04/17/2007 6:36:28 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Peace without victory is a temporary illusion.)
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To: jra

Did you read the body of the post?


8 posted on 04/17/2007 6:37:06 PM PDT by ShadowDancer ("To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.")
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To: randyclark

Tell him the truth.


9 posted on 04/17/2007 6:37:09 PM PDT by Enosh (†)
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To: randyclark

The immediate introduction of a new pet helps tremendously. Been there, done that sorta thing. If you don’t want another dog for a while, time is the only answer. Just explain that his best friend went to heaven and he can still speak to him in prayer. Worked for my son. Hope this helps.


10 posted on 04/17/2007 6:39:06 PM PDT by doc1019 (Fred Thompson '08)
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To: randyclark
Explain the life cycle. Death is natural. It comes to us all. Realizing that is what makes us pragmatic and thus conservative. We fight for what we believe in in this world because we know, unlike many, that life is precious. Tell your child the truth...but be gentle...there will be many rocks ahead...just start laying the path.
11 posted on 04/17/2007 6:39:09 PM PDT by Cornpone (Islam: The world's greatest, preventable and treatable psychosis. ©2006Cornpone)
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To: diogenes ghost

oh gosh—not what I meant to post—loss of pet and coping with that loss as a father of a two year old. I never even read the topic as that—more proof that one shouldn’t proof one’s own typing. Many apologies...


12 posted on 04/17/2007 6:39:11 PM PDT by randyclark
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To: ShadowDancer

Sorry to hear of your childs passing. Prayers up. < /s - OK I read the post but it seems like a sick thread is about to commence>


13 posted on 04/17/2007 6:39:12 PM PDT by zarf (Her hair was of a dank yellow, and fell over her temples like sauerkraut......)
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To: randyclark

The death of a pet is a great way to teach children about death. You can explain to him that his dog died and will be gone now. Children have a very different time sense than we do and do not have a concept of forever. He may ask from time to time when he will see his dog again. Depending on your beliefs, you can simply say he is gone and will not be back, or you can say youwill see him in heaven. Since he is so young, you can expect him to ask a few times.

It will be a great reference for him when a person he knows dies later. He will have a concept of death being permanant.


14 posted on 04/17/2007 6:39:50 PM PDT by freemama
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To: randyclark
Death is difficult to understand at any age but at 2 1/2 very hard to understand. Do not go out and immediately get another dog, it confuses the issue. Calmly explain that the dog died and he is in a better place. It is simplistic yes but remember you are explaining this to a two year old. Tell him its ok to be sad, but remind him of the happy moments. Good luck and remember for yourself it does take time for you to grieve over the lost of your companion.
15 posted on 04/17/2007 6:40:27 PM PDT by svcw (There is no plan B.)
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To: randyclark
This is just my opinion . . .

At age 2+, he's probably still young enough that you can get a new puppy for the family and tell him that "big dogs go to the Happy Hunting Ground to be watchdogs in God's house" or something like that. A young puppy today will likely live through most of his childhood, so this might be a good time for a new dog anyway.

16 posted on 04/17/2007 6:40:55 PM PDT by Alberta's Child (Can money pay for all the days I lived awake but half asleep?)
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To: randyclark

Use this as a life lesson for your child...that life is precious, but not predictable. Reinforce the notion that people should treasure the blessing they have while they have them.

I’d suggest that you not get another dog right away, as that would indicate that precious lives are easily replaced. Give him the truth as you teach, allow him to learn how to mourn the loss, and heal for a while.

If you want to replace the dog, do it after the grieving process has passed.


17 posted on 04/17/2007 6:41:05 PM PDT by RavenATB
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To: randyclark

Best advice is to explain that the older pet has passed on, and get a new pet.


18 posted on 04/17/2007 6:41:36 PM PDT by Knitting A Conundrum (Act Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly With God Micah 6:8)
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To: randyclark

I’m in favor of Basil’s #4 posting. Sorry for your loss
and perhaps you need a new little puppy to help yourself
as well....JJ61


19 posted on 04/17/2007 6:42:17 PM PDT by JerseyJohn61 (Better Late Than Never.......sometimes over lapping is worth the effort....)
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To: randyclark

Boy, that is a hard one. A two and a half year old will not understand death. Maybe if you let him know your dog won’t be back, or that he won’t see the dog again (gently and matter of fact like). When you are ready to get another (and I hope you will—every kid needs to grow up with a pet), you can tell him that your gs sent your family a friend to help you to not miss him so much. Good luck


20 posted on 04/17/2007 6:42:37 PM PDT by arbee4bush (Our Airman Daughter KB4W--Hero, Patriot and the Love of her mom & dads life!)
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