Angelou: Hip-Hoppers Would Lose Microphone If They Slurred Laura Bush

In the wake of the Imus affair, MSNBC is airing an all-day discussion on the theme "What's OK to say?" Poet Maya Angelou appeared at 11:05 AM EDT, and in the course of her interview with MSNBC's Peter Alexander, had this exchange:

Leave it to Angelou, she who read a poem [YouTube here] at Bill Clinton's first inauguration, to drag partisan politics into it. What we do know is that Don Imus lost his microphone for saying those kind of things about the Rutgers basketball players. Could hip-hoppers say them about Laura Bush? I don't know, but just looking at Michelle Malkin's recent cataloging of rap lyrics, I see that George Bush is fair game [see lyrics from Unk].I'll venture the name of one woman who would almost certainly be off limits: Ms. Angelou herself. What do you think: could rappers rap Mrs. Bush and keep their gigs?

Contact Mark at mark@gunhill.net

(Buckhead courtesy ping because he's mentioned in the third verse) So, since I effectively labeled Eminem a no-talent hack and bragged that I could do better, I’ve been challenged to come up with lyrics of better quality than his. I humbly accept the challenge.

unnamed song by “spinestein” a.k.a. C-rap rymee

Verse I
I’ve been labeled a loser
they say I couldn’t choose
words worthy of the great Shady’s
and he’s a boozer
But if you want Angelou the great and worthy poet
the Goddess of words to the left and they know it
that I’m only a chimp with sh** in my hands and I throw it
Compared to her cuz she spoke all eloquent on the occasion of the inauguration
Clinton said he’d get the brothers off the plantation
he vowed to get right to work on their salvation
but Bill’s only helping out this nation
cuz he’s horny and the Hill-Dog only practices self-masturbation
So he went to work in DC
pushed his ‘Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell’ policy
said “Toots, come in my office and see me.”
and he got a Lewinski

Chorus
Now Imus wants in on the act
though he lacks any sort of tact
playing with words of high impact
and now he’s been sacked
He should have just talked about Bush
you’re hip and cool to rip Bush
if you don’t want a boycott from PUSH
it’s the safe bet to keep bashing Bush

Verse II
Republicans, we should be condemnin’ them
so say those who think that Eminem
can take our kids and enlighten ‘em
while the media drives by and yells “Racist!”
When anyone dares question them or their eternal truths
that the only way to help those in need
is to make a list of people of greed
and confiscate all their property
Policy wonks are warning
AlGore weeping over Global Warming
said, What were they thinking not listening to us
after we made such a fuss
About humans destroying the planet
do you think we can just take the Earth and sh**-can it?
we need to raise taxes on gas more than a few cents
and price fossil fuels right out of existence.

Chorus
Michael Richards f***ed up in his act
when he chose to get rid of his tact
he used words of high impact
and now he’s been sacked
Then he went out and talked about Bush
cuz it’s hip and cool to rip Bush
If you don’t want a boycott from PUSH
it’s a safe bet to keep bashing Bush

Verse III
There once was a man from Arkansas
who wanted to see what Abe Lincoln saw
so he got elected President and put up Abe’s bed for rent
and said, “F*** you if you don’t like it!”
Cuz I got people on my side
willing to give up their reps for me
The Als Franken and Sharpton plus Jesse
even Hillary will shill for me or risk Arkancide
Michael Moore, movie ‘hoor, fat-ass boor
and Dan Rather lie with fake documents
that anyone believes them makes no sense
they must think we’re living in the past tense
Cuz now the new media has people like “Buckhead”
willing to call those liars [1 sec sampled clip of scream from Beatles “Revolution”]
they can’t believe their monopoly’s being challenged
by FReepers typing away in their pajamas

P.S. I claimed to be able to come up with something better in less than an hour, but I failed in that since I started writing at exactly noon Central Time and finished at 1:34pm. I also said that I was a part time musician and songwriter but I never claimed to be good at it, only that I was better than Eminem.

I desire no copy protection for this work since I deem it to be tripe which I wrote for the sole purpose of contrasting my hastily written work with the current standards of popular music lyrics in this genre. I leave it up to the reader to decide the finer points of which is better but it’s now 2 o’clock and I’m bored with it and really don’t care anymore.

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