Posted on 03/26/2007 3:27:31 PM PDT by paltz
A cancer victim has accused his sister of condemning him to death by refusing to donate her bone marrow for a life-saving operation.
Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant.
His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Without the donation Mr Pretty – who has a rare tissue type – could be dead by the end of the year leaving his wife Jacqueline to raise their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six and Benjamin, three.
he human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire, is receiving aggressive chemotherapy in an attempt to stay alive long enough to find another donor.
What a donor has to go through Doctors have said that to have the best chance of survival he must find a match by the end of the summer.
He has already exhausted the UK bone marrow register and doctors are looking for a match from strangers on international databases.
"I am on death row," said Mr Pretty. "I can’t believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions.
Helen Pretty has declined to comment "We found a prayer in Rebecca’s coat which said: 'Please don’t let my daddy die from cancer'. That brought tears to my eyes."
Helen Pretty’s Cheshire home is less than ten miles away from the British Transplantation Society which campaigns to promote organ and bone marrow donation.
Her brother claims she agreed to be a donor after he was first diagnosed with the rare cancer, acute promyelocytic leukaemia, in July 2004. He went into remission but then suffered a relapse in February by which time she had changed her mind, he says.
The pair have never been close although their children are similar ages and play together.
Mr Pretty’s wife Jacqueline said: "It is appalling that Helen can stand by and watch her brother die knowing that she could do something to help him. The past few months have been hell."
Mrs Pretty approached her sister-in-law in an attempt to change her mind but lost her temper and was eventually arrested. No charge was brought.
Jacqueline Pretty said: "She opened the front door halfway and I told her that things were desperate and the children thought their daddy was going to die. She said 'Sorry, I am not doing it'. I asked her to give me a reason and she said 'I am putting my family first'.
"I explained that there were no risks involved. I was so upset and I said, 'Don’t you care if your brother dies?' She said 'It’s very sad', and smirked."
The family then received a letter from his sister’s solicitor asking them to keep their distance.
Parent governor Helen, 43, declined to comment yesterday.
She runs a private education business from her £380,00 home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, which she shares with her partner and her daughter, eight, and son, three.
Mr Pretty, who has two masters degrees, is studying for a PhD in industrial relations while being treated in hospital.
He said: "The treatment is tough and it is tortuous to go on with, especially as it would be unnecessary had she come forward. I have had a skin full of chemotherapy and all the side effects but I have a young family and I have to keep my spirits up for them."
Mr Pretty said he hoped that his plight would highlight the lack of bone marrow donors in the UK. He added: "Some people do not have a family member who is a match, even one who will not co-operate."
A spokesman for the Anthony Nolan Trust, which has a database of potential UK bone marrow donors, said: "About 30 per cent of patients could get a match from their own family – usually siblings.
"The chance of finding a match outside of family is very small and there are never enough donors."
A less than exact bone marrow match has a smaller chance of beating the cancer.
Trust chief executive Dr Steve McEwan added: "As with any medical procedure there are risks. However, we are not aware of long-term side effects of the process of donating bone marrow. Donors describe it as a very positive experience."
Count me in on that one. Plus I am registered on the Bone Marrow Donation list
I can think of one other possible reason:
4) Sister has contracted an illness (possibly sexually transmitted) which she doesn't want to spread to her brother, and is too embarrassed to tell him about.
Talk about cheapening the language, and the qualities that make us human.
Hard to tell who is the more selfish here. Seriously.
The lifesaving act of donation is, or should be, one of love, not of intimidation, even among strangers; never mind family.
I shall say no more than that, not knowing more specifics.
There would be no concerns for her if she was a despicable mentally ill narcissist or psychopath, perhaps. The fact that she is reveling in her hateful attitude rather than feeling deeply ashamed for playing her evil games tells what sort of worthless human being she herself is, IMO.
It wasn't because of ill feelings toward each other. The sister just didn't want to go through the process even though she was tested and was a perfect match.
My husband has terminal cancer, his brothers would go to any lengths to save him.
That's great (and I mean that). But I think you are not in the majority.
Anyway, my big problem with the donor system is that I don't want to help a silly rationing system when a free market would free up millions of organs. For example, the organs are worth A LOT of money. Let's say my organs are worth 500K. There is a certain probability that I will die in a manner such that my organs become useful to someone else. Discount back 25 years, and an insurance company or someone else ought to be able to pay me 10K or so for the rights to my organs if I die. I would do that. So would millions of others who right now have not filled out their donor cards.
The reason this is not done is two-fold. One, the communal types don't like people making money, and the organ bit makes their rhetoric more powerful. 2nd, and most important, right now the doctors and everyone else involved gets your multi-hundred-thousands dollar input into their multi-hunderd-thousand dollar operations for free. They'd hate to have to pay for the damned thing.
It is simply economic fact: Price controls result in shortages. The price on organs is set at zero, therefore, there is a massive shortage. There is nothing unique about this product compared to all the other attempts that socialists have attempt price controls. They ALWAYS result in shortages. In this case, people die as a result.
Huh.
Been thinking about this for a few minutes, just to make sure, but I can't think of one. Honestly.
In fact, I can't think of a single person I know that I wouldn't do it for.
Now, I can think of a lot of people I don't like hanging around with, but I'd still probably give them whatever they needed.
Weird. But I'll keep trying.
What do you mean "he has nothing to lose?" He may shortly be meeting his Maker. Would you want to go to judgment with such a sin on your soul? You know there really will be a reckoning some day when we all stand before the Judge of Heaven and Earth and account for our actions.
Free Republic is nothing if not predictable.
Yep.
The choice of language and phrasing from the recipient I characterize as equally inhuman.
If one successfully can intimidate another this way, it would be just a short step until we reach the bottom of that slippery slope.
Yep.
Also it is what it is. There is no time to waste being angry and bitter with the sister.
What could he have possibly done to justify her inhumane attitude? You're going to extreme speculative lengths to justify her vengeful taunting and obvious unfeeling selfishness for no known reason.
From the looks of sis, she can keep her bone marrow!
In some areas of the world today where high technology and weird religions coexist, it is still a prized gift.
He probably doesn't approve that she is a lesbian.
However, my solution would be to limit or ban the donation of organs to people that refuse to sign a Donor Card.
ROFLMAO....I put black ink on sisters old black rotary telephone receiver...The Legend of Black Ear was born....
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