Posted on 03/26/2007 3:27:31 PM PDT by paltz
A cancer victim has accused his sister of condemning him to death by refusing to donate her bone marrow for a life-saving operation.
Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant.
His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Without the donation Mr Pretty – who has a rare tissue type – could be dead by the end of the year leaving his wife Jacqueline to raise their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six and Benjamin, three.
he human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire, is receiving aggressive chemotherapy in an attempt to stay alive long enough to find another donor.
What a donor has to go through Doctors have said that to have the best chance of survival he must find a match by the end of the summer.
He has already exhausted the UK bone marrow register and doctors are looking for a match from strangers on international databases.
"I am on death row," said Mr Pretty. "I can’t believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions.
Helen Pretty has declined to comment "We found a prayer in Rebecca’s coat which said: 'Please don’t let my daddy die from cancer'. That brought tears to my eyes."
Helen Pretty’s Cheshire home is less than ten miles away from the British Transplantation Society which campaigns to promote organ and bone marrow donation.
Her brother claims she agreed to be a donor after he was first diagnosed with the rare cancer, acute promyelocytic leukaemia, in July 2004. He went into remission but then suffered a relapse in February by which time she had changed her mind, he says.
The pair have never been close although their children are similar ages and play together.
Mr Pretty’s wife Jacqueline said: "It is appalling that Helen can stand by and watch her brother die knowing that she could do something to help him. The past few months have been hell."
Mrs Pretty approached her sister-in-law in an attempt to change her mind but lost her temper and was eventually arrested. No charge was brought.
Jacqueline Pretty said: "She opened the front door halfway and I told her that things were desperate and the children thought their daddy was going to die. She said 'Sorry, I am not doing it'. I asked her to give me a reason and she said 'I am putting my family first'.
"I explained that there were no risks involved. I was so upset and I said, 'Don’t you care if your brother dies?' She said 'It’s very sad', and smirked."
The family then received a letter from his sister’s solicitor asking them to keep their distance.
Parent governor Helen, 43, declined to comment yesterday.
She runs a private education business from her £380,00 home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, which she shares with her partner and her daughter, eight, and son, three.
Mr Pretty, who has two masters degrees, is studying for a PhD in industrial relations while being treated in hospital.
He said: "The treatment is tough and it is tortuous to go on with, especially as it would be unnecessary had she come forward. I have had a skin full of chemotherapy and all the side effects but I have a young family and I have to keep my spirits up for them."
Mr Pretty said he hoped that his plight would highlight the lack of bone marrow donors in the UK. He added: "Some people do not have a family member who is a match, even one who will not co-operate."
A spokesman for the Anthony Nolan Trust, which has a database of potential UK bone marrow donors, said: "About 30 per cent of patients could get a match from their own family – usually siblings.
"The chance of finding a match outside of family is very small and there are never enough donors."
A less than exact bone marrow match has a smaller chance of beating the cancer.
Trust chief executive Dr Steve McEwan added: "As with any medical procedure there are risks. However, we are not aware of long-term side effects of the process of donating bone marrow. Donors describe it as a very positive experience."
Maybe if you had debated more intelligently. As it is, you seem like an utter worm.
I looked up a health questionnaire for potential donors. There are many things that could have come up recently in her health situation that may have caused her to change her mind. There's a variety of potential disqualifiers, and perhaps she doesn't wish to share the information. While I think it's foolish, she may have her reasons.
I've determined that I am unable to be a donor.
I must admit, it would be nice if the article pointed to a reason or reason(s) behind the sister's refusal to save her brother's life. Could be something reasonable that I just haven't thought of. As it stands, the article doesn't give a reason, so people will assume she is evil.
I'm sorry for him and his family, but when his sis said no, he should have said thanks anyway and let it go. Accept it like a man.
Instead, him and his wife are whining up a storm.
It sounds like him and/or his wife have been stalking the sis.
The examples and memories he is making for his kids are not pleasant.
He ought to follow his daughter's example.
If it was my brother or yours, and I was a perfect match, I would do it, but I won't condemn the sis for saying no.
Beg to differ...as it is organ donors are prohibited by law to sell their organs for a profit. Donate only is the magic word, and of course it is at will.
Now imagine, the market is deregulated and wide open..."COMA" is coming...
as it is organ donors are prohibited by law to sell their organs for a profit."
Compared to waking up in a motel, missing a kidney.
Could we maybe send her to Iran or North Korea?...
>>>>>>>>>I thought that was the end of it until next weekend when I came home at 3 AM and found 3 goats locked in my bedroom.<<<<<<<
People are funny about those kinds of gifts. Was working security after work at the County Fair one year, and we thought it would be fun to put a sheep in the Lt's office. We waited until late, borrowed a sheep, put earrings on her and everything, and stashed her in there while he was answering a call across the grounds. He was not amused, strangely enough, and it's amazing what a mess one sheep makes when left to its devices for a short time. We were cleaning up for days, replacing carpet, etc. But it was worth the look on his face...
I can’t imagine demanding such a thing from my sister, let alone running to the press were this demand not met.
The sister in this story or my cousin?
;-)
I will not sign a donor card. I have told my family that they may donate my organs. But I want them to be there to make that decision when they are ready. I don't want anyone not related to me to jump the gun without my family's knowledge.
I imagine you may be a little less hesitant if you or a family member needed a transplant.
Karma with her soul should turn out to be reallllllllly interesting.
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