I didn't clarify very well. When I say love is a decision, what I mean by that is that we literally do choose to love. Everyone. EVERYONE is loveable or hateable. When we marry someone, we make a committment, until death we do part, to love that person. That means be "on their side" and be one flesh with them in every other way. IOW, love is also an action, not a feeling.
My wife is 53 and I "love" her more than ever. If I was watching every wrinkle increase and noticing the babes on Baywatch, etc. I may have "fallen out of love" with her. As it is, the wrinkles are literally part of what make her beautiful. It is what gives her personality. It is what makes her the woman I love.
Love is a decision. If you don't love your spouse, you have nobody to blame but yourself, no matter how much of a "jerk" you think your spouse is. I am speaking generically, not about "you" specifically. ;)