Do not be alarmed; Miami isn't so weird

Miami Herald ^ | January 28, 2007 | DAVE BARRY

[ConservativeStatement]

Welcome to Miami, Super Bowl visitors! You are going to have a wonderful time, from the moment you arrive in our magical city, until the moment you discover that your wallet is missing.

I'm kidding! You'll be fine, probably! Because the truth is that Miami is a terrific place, despite the criticisms you may have heard from ignorant yokel blowhards who shall remain nameless, such as U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo.

[Clemenza]

Let's see: Three Republican congressmen, a majority Republican delegation to the state Senate and Assembly, BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, great restaurants and nightlife, etc.

I lived in Doral (just west of Miami airport) for three years and loved it. The Miami area is a great place to live for a single man. Just stay away from Overtown, Opa Locka, North County, and you should be OK. Also, don't bend over on Lincoln Road...

[Fairview]

Barry is not a liberal, he's a libertarian. Big difference.

There is a big difference in all points except this one: in his characterization of Tancredo's policies as xenophobia, he sides with the liberals. He sees what is happening to his own city and still does not realize that out-of-control immigration is a social and economic disaster, but instead attacks a man who is trying to fix the problem. He's certainly as foolish as a liberal. The jibes he made at Tancredo weren't brief, light ones either, but repetitious and nasty.

[Beagle8U]

I agree. I did live in Fla. for 7 years and there was some great food. It is too hot and crowded for my tastes now.

[Maneesh]

"Miami is the best.. it clean and beautiful. The people who bash it are usually stuck in the some horrible backward intolerant part of the country where its either cold or there is no ocean. Most people can only 'wish' they lived in Miami"

I tend to agree with you. There are plenty of nice neighborhoods to live in and the awesome beaches, food and ambiance would over-ride any disadvantages. Right now the vast majority of posters in FR are freezing and Miami is sunny and the center of the sports universe. Where would you really be ? I was just in Miami last week and would go back in a heart-beat ! On the political front, the Cuban immigrants living there are some of the staunchest and natural Republicans and statements degrading the place (like the one made by Tom Tancredo) are completely out of line and uncalled for.

[Urbane_Guerilla]

Barry is the one who sounds like a nasty moron in this column. As a previous poster said, Barry trashes Tancredo for saying things Barry confirms in the column.

I visited Miami once and that was quite sufficient for a lifetime.

[Sam Cree]

"Yeah it's a Hell hole, but its our Hell hole, so you shut up."

It's more like he's making fun of Tancredo and Miami at the same time, which seems a little contradictory, but actually isn't.

As a resident of Miami, I found Tancredo's remark about a third world country to be accurate, but also eminently able to be made fun of. As is the City of Miami. I have a feeling that Dave Barry means to take a similar position.

[Sam Cree]

"The jibes he made at Tancredo weren't brief, light ones either, but repetitious and nasty."

I don't know, I thought Barry's remarks about Tancredo were repititious and funny. FWIW, as a resident, I tend to agree with Tancredo's remark about it being a third world country here. But what I know about Dave Barry, he isn't a mean and nasty writer, though he does tend to have little respect for politicians of all stripes.

[Sam Cree]

Yeah, I love Miami too. I even love the "third world" character of the place. I've been here for 33 years now. I do think it's getting a little too crowded though.

[Sam Cree]

"Libertarian = liberal that likes guns but doesn't want to pay taxes."

There's a surprising amount of truth in what you posted. But it's not a bad position to take, IMO.

[Paulus Invictus]

Hablan ingles en Miami ahora? (do they speak English in Miami now?) Who knew? Last time I was in downtown Miami, I couln't find a soul who spoke our native tongue. Tancredo was right!

[Polybius]

So from this we see that Barry is not only a liberal, but perhaps the only liberal in America with a sense of humor. Unfortunately like most liberals he has to become mean-spirited and personal. I'm disappointed.

Gee, and all Tancredo did was gratuitously insult an entire major metropolitan area that happens to be my home town and which tipped the Florida popular vote to Bush in 2000 with the overwhelming American of Cuban descent vote in favor of the Republican (as always) that tipped the Electoral College to Bush and which is why we didn't have at least four years of President Al Gore.

Maybe, to firm up his Republican support in the South, Tancredo can now insult Robert E. Lee, Cajuns and anybody who eats grits.

If you insult people, let alone an entire metropolis, guess what? You are going to get insulted right back?

If I were a politician from three quarters of the way across the country that insulted somebody's home town and their ethnic group, I would expect their local satirical columnist to skewer me like a sishkabob.

Let's try it out:

"Besides, what kind of name is "Tancredo"? Is that some sort of Third World name or is it some sort of Eye-talian name like you hear in a Mafia movie? Why can't he change his name to a good-ole American name like Wilson or Smith or Jones? I tell ya, ever since those Eye-talians moved into New York City, that city has looked like a foreign country!"

If I am now insulted by Italians and New Yorkers, I would deserve every bit of it.

[sockhead]

A friend of mine lives in Miami. Works for one of the bakeries as a tail gunner on a bread truck.

[Paulus Invictus]

Sorry, but ID is weird. Who can stand the weather (the real frozen north), the strange politics, the empty malls, the dumb drivers, the dress code for all (everyone wears levis and look like the soup kitchen poor, but they do here in UT as well) etc. Actually, I like ID in the summer and the potatoes are great.

[wku man]

IIRC, Boise has been warmer this winter than has Salt Lake.

Strange politics? We are an oddity, I'll grant ya that. After all, we have a conservative state legislature, a conservative governor, and one each conservative congressman and senator (Sali and Crapo, respectively). OTOH, we have one spineless jellyfish of a former, "fair weather conservative" congressman, Simpson, and an outright RINO senator, Craig.

Actually, my love for Idaho is a microcosom of my love for the entire Intermountain West. If we can just keep the Left Coasters from spreading their virus too far and wide, Idaho and the rest of the West will continue to be a great place to live.

Liberals, ignore everything I just said...Idaho is an awful place, full of white supremacists and toothless gun totin' cowboys! Don't come here for any reason at all!

And incidentally, I wouldn't wear a pair of Levi's if you held a gun to my head...I wear Wranglers, baby! /mock indignation.

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

[Polybius]

Last time I was in downtown Miami, I couln't find a soul who spoke our native tongue. Tancredo was right!

So, nobody in any of these skyscrappers from the Wachovia Financial Center to the Bank of America Tower to the SunTrust International Center to the Mellon Financial Center spoke any English?

Nobody?

Not a soul?

Wow. That is incredible ..... literally.

Or, in Spanish, that is "Bravo Sierra".

[Sam Cree]

"Idaho is an awful place, full of white supremacists and toothless gun totin' cowboys!"

Miami is full of bugs!

[wku man]

Yes it is! So was the Tampa Bay area, where I lived before moving (back) to Idaho. It was also muggy, the pollen and mold were year-round problems for my allergies (knock on wood...I don't seem to be allergic to anything in Idaho...except Left Coasters).

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

[BlazingArizona]

So from this we see that Barry is not only a liberal, but perhaps the only liberal in America with a sense of humor

Actually he's a libertarian. The last leftists to have a sense of humor like this died off in the Sixties.

[Beagle8U]

Being right on two issues doesn't make for a strong party though.

[BlazingArizona]

"Besides, what kind of name is "Tancredo"? Is that some sort of Third World name or is it some sort of Eye-talian name like you hear in a Mafia movie? Why can't he change his name to a good-ole American name like Wilson or Smith or Jones?

PJ O'Rourke's comment about the paleos was "Gee, I never knew that Pat Buchanan was a Cherokee name!"