opied this from a post on the court tv. It gives real insight from Steven STaynor. Very interesting.
this was important to post even in full under the circumstances.
This is Stevens Legacy and while all of it does not match with Shawn enough of it does that we need to pay attention..
http://www.stevenstaynermemorial.org/Steven's%20Legacy.htm
The Steven Stayner and Missing Children's Memorial
After returning home, Steven Stayner shared his insights into finding abducted children:
"When it comes to finding abducted children, most people think of posters and milk cartons. Photographs are very important in finding abducted children. But to depend on pictures alone is a big mistake.
"That is because the pictures may not reach the isolated areas where abductors take children, but also because children change and abductors can easily change a child's appearance.
"I believe the single most important thing you can do to help find abducted children is to be aware of the problem and keep an eye out for suspicious 'family' situations around you.
"For starters, many abductors are men appearing as single parents, with one child. They intentionally choose to live in isolated areas and are generally not socially active.
"You should know that the first thing abductors often do is convince the child that their parents don't want them. My abductor faked phone calls to my parents. He actually told me he went to court to get legal custody. I was seven. I had nowhere else to turn. I eventually accepted the lie as reality.
"The next stage was adapting for survival. This meant doing anything to avoid punishment. I actually helped my abductor keep the secret.
"So don't expect abducted children to come up and ask for help. They're totally dependent on their abductors. And if they're being sexually abused, which is usually the case, the last thing they want is to draw attention to it.
"I trusted no one. My greatest fear was that someone would find out the truth and confront my 'father'. I didn't know what he'd do. As bad as things were, I knew it could get worse.
"To survive, abducted children must learn to lie. When people would ask me about my past, I made it up. I now assume people knew I was lying, but no one ever tried to find out why.
"Throughout the seven years, we were constantly moving. We lived in five different towns, in a dozen houses and trailer homes. The minute my abductor felt people were getting too close, we'd pack up. That kind of movement is typical of abductions. So is a child who's not enrolled in school.
"My abductor was careful and made sure I was always enrolled. If people paid attention to my relationship with my 'father' there were clues that something was wrong. It was not a normal father-son relationship. And among other things, at 13, I was taller than, and looked nothing like, my 'father'.
"You should know that most abductors are pedophiles, not psychotic killers. They don't have good relationships with adults. They start out molesting children and graduate to longer abductions. And when they murder children, often it's to get rid of the evidence.
"As is often the case, there were people involved with my abductor who knew the truth. These people could have saved me at any time, but were afraid of legal trouble. You should know that in other cases where people have come forward to save a child, they have not been prosecuted. These people often hold the power of life and death.
"Before I was grabbed, my abductor had been convicted of child molesting. Throughout my abduction, he never stopped molesting other children. Even so, after taking me from my home, abusing me for seven years and abducting another 5-year old, he served only three and one-half years in jail.
"Today, no one knows how many missing children are dead or how many now live as I did. But if you're going to help, you have to be aware of the real nature of stranger abduction and be committed to helping children. While it may be hard for you to tell an abducted child from an abused child, it's not hard to tell a child in trouble. And it's not hard to do something about it. If you know of, or suspect, there's a situation where a child is in trouble, please call the police."
Help find missing children
Many abducted children have been returned because people have recognized a face from a poster. So please, when you see a picture of a missing child on a poster, in a magazine or on a postcard, take the time to see if you recognize that child.
Unfortunately, abductors take steps to change a child's appearance. Children change over time and there are so many faces to remember.
If you are aware of behaviors, and you know what to look for, there are many clues that can actually be even more effective in helping you spot an abducted child. Because many abducted children are told by their abductors that their parents don't want them, abducted children feel dependent on their abductors for survival. They almost live in fear of being "found out".
Possible signs of an abducted child
and what to look for
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Incomplete or unforwarded school records.
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No birth certificate.
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No verification of immunization shots and missing medical and dental records.
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The child seems withdrawn or neglected.
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The child seems fearful of parent(s) or guardian(s).
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The child has behavioral or academic problems. They may lie frequently trying to cover up the truth about their life.
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Attendance at school is often sporadic. They don't take part in any after-school activities.
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There seems to be inconsistencies in names, dates of birth, addresses and past events.
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Attendance at many different schools.
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Reluctance to give school personnel any personal or family information.
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Sometimes they're confused about their real name and don't seem to trust anyone.
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The child seems fearful of law enforcement.
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The child may not remember the other parent.
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The other parent may be listed as deceased or unknown or not listed at all on emergency information documents.
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The "parent" may be overprotective and keeps very close tabs on the child's activities, friends and comments.
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The child may have dyed hair or has other appearance modifications.
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You should be sensitive to any "family" situation that doesn't feel right. The most common non-family abductor relationship is a single child with a single man who is passing as the "father" or "grandfather".
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Abductors and their victims generally move around a lot to keep from being found out. As a result, abducted children live a transient life, often living in out-of-the-way cabins and trailer parks. With little sense of stability, they don't make friends or fit in easily.
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The child may not wear properly fitting clothes.
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The child is reluctant to talk about where they lived in the past.
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The child never invites friends to their home.
Trust your instincts. If you see a situation that seems suspicious, call your local law enforcement.
1,138 posted on 01/14/2007 1:30:32 PM PST by mel
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"Before I was grabbed, my abductor had been convicted of child molesting. Throughout my abduction, he never stopped molesting other children. Even so, after taking me from my home, abusing me for seven years and abducting another 5-year old, he served only three and one-half years in jail.Please, somebody tell me that isn't true!
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