Drive By Factoid Bump - # 9823 of some Seriesly Long and Hugh Factoids
Reason # 213 on why it is better to donate than eat a fruitcake
Grandmother Sues USPC Over Fruitcakes
WILMINGTON, Del. - Lucille Greene takes baking and mailing about 30 fruitcakes as Christmas gifts seriously. Seriously enough that the 88-year-old grandmother sued the U.S. Postal Service for emotional distress after accusations of being a terrorist from a postal clerk, according to her federal lawsuit. In December 2002, Greene showed up at the Magnolia post office to mail fruitcakes to relatives and friends when, her lawsuit says, a postal worker asked her, "What kind of explosives do you have in here?" before shaking the box. In the lawsuit, Greene said others in the post office laughed at her, leaving her upset and in tears. She said she tripped over a concrete parking barrier outside and fell, breaking her glasses and chipping a tooth.
FRUITCAKE RECIPE1 cup water,
1 cup sugar,
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit,
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskeySample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
Turn off the mixer.
Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.Mix on the turner.
If the dried fruit gets stuck on the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for consisticity.Next, sift 2 cups of salt.
Or something. Who cares.
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out the window.
Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed.Who likes fruitcake anyway?