Posted on 10/08/2006 5:20:54 PM PDT by GretchenM
We asked Tom and Ray to give us their Top 10 scariest cars. They came through and were even kind enough to tell us for whom exactly the cars are scary.
Scary for: Bystanders and other drivers
Looks like an early Ford Mustang, right? It is, on the outside anyway. The inside, however, is all Ford Falcon, a pedestrian vehicle if ever there was one. So what, you say? Well, drop a Boss V-8 into a Ford Falcon and what do you get? An overpowered car that doesn't have the shocks, brakes or structural rigidity to turn or stop well. In other words ... look out!
Scary for: Bystanders and other drivers
Garish? Sure, but that's not our complaint. This was the height of muscle-cardom. This was when American car manufacturers figured out how to make humongous, powerful engines. Sadly, they hadn't yet figured out how to do handling, so you had an overpowered rear-wheel-drive car with no weight in the rear end. As a result, when there was half a drop of rain on the ground this thing spun around like Dizzy Dan from the Battling Tops. Anything but perfect weather, and it was totally uncontrollable.
Scary for: Firefighters and plastic surgeons
What could possibly be scarier than a car endorsed by both the Shriners' Burn Ward Fundraising Division and the League of Asbestos-Clothing Manufacturers? These cars had an unfortunate tendency to explode when hit from behind, since that's where the gas tank was located. Ford did eventually fix the problem, but the damage was done, so to speak. Being anywhere near a Pinto still gives us visions of Robert Duvall calling in airstrikes in "Apocalypse Now."
Scary for: Drivers
Here's a scary idea: Design a car so the occupants' legs are the very first line of defense in a frontal crash. Then add poor stability. Shaped like a pizza box standing on end, the Microbus blew around on the highway like Calista Flockhart in a wind tunnel. Drivers never had time to worry about these issues, though; they were too busy trying to keep themselves warm in the chilly Bus.
Scary for: Onlookers
Just take a gander at this. No wonder they named it the Thing; it was styled by the same guy who invented the cookie sheet. Thankfully, they rusted quickly enough that few remain to invoke PTSD for former owners.
Scary for: Mechanics
The Monza was designed as an economy car, so it was built to have a four-cylinder engine. Unfortunately, when sales slowed down, some geniuses at Chevy decided that what the Monza needed was a V-8, so they shoehorned one in there. The result? Half the spark plugs are almost impossible to reach; to get at them you need rappelling equipment and an air chisel. Whenever one of these beauties reared its ugly grille in front of the garage, every mechanic with more than six weeks' experience would go running for the men's room and lock the door.
Scary for: Drivers
Rolling over is fine if you've got personal knowledge of Knuckles Goldberg's wrongdoings and you're heading into the witness protection program. Rolling over at 70 miles per hour on asphalt, when you're swerving to avoid an errant chipmunk? Not so good. These cars were cheap, so they were purchased mostly by young drivers — the people most likely to end up hanging from the seat belt with four wheels in the air. Scarier still, the Samurai wasn't that much worse than other SUVs of the era.
Scary for: Drivers
Take a good look at this car. Kind of small, wouldn't you say? Now imagine yourself in a Festiva surrounded by amphetamine-snacking tractor-trailer drivers. Going 75 miles per hour. At night. In the rain. Scared yet? We sure are. We once got in trouble for saying this car came right from the factory with a funeral wreath on the grille.
Scary for: Society, the environment and therapists
When you stop to think about what kind of person would buy a Hummer, you begin to worry about the future of our country. This is a person who feels so inadequate inside that he has to drive around pretending the 82nd Airborne will be backing him up in his next argument over a parking space. On the environmental side, the Hummer burns through resources like there's no tomorrow. And if enough idiots keep driving them, there won't be.
Scary for: Onlookers
Well, now we know where the designers of the Volkswagen Thing went to work after VW canned their sorry butts. Take a good look at this vehicle — it's a tribute to the art of unfortunate compromises. Someone at GM said "take a minivan, whack off a few corners and make something we can call a utility vehicle." The car itself was not bad — rather utilitarian, actually — but it pinned the needle on the visual pollution scale.
Posted on 10/2/06
It goes 200 miles an hour and is faster than anything owned by Steve McQueen!
(for the Cosby fans...)
That car's a beauty. I love Cobras.
Oh, they were able to take out Christine with a compactor. It took dropping a mountain to take out The Car.
Of course, James Brolin-Streisand wasn't the guy pulling the trigger.
Well, what do you expect from "car guys" on NPR of all places?
FWIW The Monza was designed for a V8 and a rotary engine from the beginning. In fact, the first year of the Monza had the largest V8 offered (350) in that car line. It wasn't put there to increase sales. (one could argue that the Monza exists only to revive the investment in the Vega line I guess, but that's not what they said)
Yeah, the plugs are hard to get to, but it's that way in a lot of cars and trucks. Basically you undo a motor mount and tilt the engine up. On my very common V6 S-10 pickup you have to remove the steering shaft to do it "properly."
Remember Cosby trying to put gas in his Ferarri and couldn't find the filler cap? "I just poured gasoline all over the car and hoped it would suck in somewhere."
And Mustang Sally?
Speaking of English cars (and motorcycles):
"Why don't the British make television sets? Bacause they haven't figured out how to make them leak oil."
Back in 1959 I had a friend with an MGA; he used to park against the back fence or wall when we went to bars to keep from buying new grilles which stood out like buck teeth on an Iowa schoolgirl.
Twice in one year in Simi Valley Ca. two different Pinto SW were T-boned in intersections by two idiots on motorcycles; in both cases, everyone died.
What did your step-brother finally do with his mom?
A buddy of mine bought one of those on eBay a few years ago. It was 9 grand IIRC, and it was worth every penny to him...
If I remember correctly, you had to unbolt the right side engine mount and jack up the engine to get the starter out; saw one fall when a lift failed and the jackstand poked a hole in the hood when it slipped off the engine.
Is that a Kubelwagen sold to Finland?
LOL, Mine was "PRIMER" ,'68 Hurst-Olds $$@ convertible....
8^)
That may have been true, but there were three motors offered that year: 1600cc, 2000cc and 2300cc. I had the 2000cc OHC that really was a breeze to work on. Which was karmic, because I sure spent a lot of time under the hood of that car.
Speaking of which, I did have a completely forgettable '74 Mustang II Ghia. I'm reminded of that car because it was based on the Pinto/Maverick platform and becuase my options for getting the starter out were to jack up the engine or remove the frame crossmember that supports the transmission.
Thanks for the link. Did you see the movie?
Sure did. It had a good and original storyline, but the acting was a bit off.
yes...but you could sure pop a "wheelie" in second gear.........
Ford did offer the 390 in the '69 Mustang as well as other models that year. That was the last year for the 390 in cars...it continued in trucks. My dad has a 1969 Mach 1 with the 428 Cobra Jet..that dude will move. No match for new Corvettes and The new Mustang Cobras, Shelby 500's and such.
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