Posted on 10/08/2006 5:20:54 PM PDT by GretchenM
We asked Tom and Ray to give us their Top 10 scariest cars. They came through and were even kind enough to tell us for whom exactly the cars are scary.
Scary for: Bystanders and other drivers
Looks like an early Ford Mustang, right? It is, on the outside anyway. The inside, however, is all Ford Falcon, a pedestrian vehicle if ever there was one. So what, you say? Well, drop a Boss V-8 into a Ford Falcon and what do you get? An overpowered car that doesn't have the shocks, brakes or structural rigidity to turn or stop well. In other words ... look out!
Scary for: Bystanders and other drivers
Garish? Sure, but that's not our complaint. This was the height of muscle-cardom. This was when American car manufacturers figured out how to make humongous, powerful engines. Sadly, they hadn't yet figured out how to do handling, so you had an overpowered rear-wheel-drive car with no weight in the rear end. As a result, when there was half a drop of rain on the ground this thing spun around like Dizzy Dan from the Battling Tops. Anything but perfect weather, and it was totally uncontrollable.
Scary for: Firefighters and plastic surgeons
What could possibly be scarier than a car endorsed by both the Shriners' Burn Ward Fundraising Division and the League of Asbestos-Clothing Manufacturers? These cars had an unfortunate tendency to explode when hit from behind, since that's where the gas tank was located. Ford did eventually fix the problem, but the damage was done, so to speak. Being anywhere near a Pinto still gives us visions of Robert Duvall calling in airstrikes in "Apocalypse Now."
Scary for: Drivers
Here's a scary idea: Design a car so the occupants' legs are the very first line of defense in a frontal crash. Then add poor stability. Shaped like a pizza box standing on end, the Microbus blew around on the highway like Calista Flockhart in a wind tunnel. Drivers never had time to worry about these issues, though; they were too busy trying to keep themselves warm in the chilly Bus.
Scary for: Onlookers
Just take a gander at this. No wonder they named it the Thing; it was styled by the same guy who invented the cookie sheet. Thankfully, they rusted quickly enough that few remain to invoke PTSD for former owners.
Scary for: Mechanics
The Monza was designed as an economy car, so it was built to have a four-cylinder engine. Unfortunately, when sales slowed down, some geniuses at Chevy decided that what the Monza needed was a V-8, so they shoehorned one in there. The result? Half the spark plugs are almost impossible to reach; to get at them you need rappelling equipment and an air chisel. Whenever one of these beauties reared its ugly grille in front of the garage, every mechanic with more than six weeks' experience would go running for the men's room and lock the door.
Scary for: Drivers
Rolling over is fine if you've got personal knowledge of Knuckles Goldberg's wrongdoings and you're heading into the witness protection program. Rolling over at 70 miles per hour on asphalt, when you're swerving to avoid an errant chipmunk? Not so good. These cars were cheap, so they were purchased mostly by young drivers — the people most likely to end up hanging from the seat belt with four wheels in the air. Scarier still, the Samurai wasn't that much worse than other SUVs of the era.
Scary for: Drivers
Take a good look at this car. Kind of small, wouldn't you say? Now imagine yourself in a Festiva surrounded by amphetamine-snacking tractor-trailer drivers. Going 75 miles per hour. At night. In the rain. Scared yet? We sure are. We once got in trouble for saying this car came right from the factory with a funeral wreath on the grille.
Scary for: Society, the environment and therapists
When you stop to think about what kind of person would buy a Hummer, you begin to worry about the future of our country. This is a person who feels so inadequate inside that he has to drive around pretending the 82nd Airborne will be backing him up in his next argument over a parking space. On the environmental side, the Hummer burns through resources like there's no tomorrow. And if enough idiots keep driving them, there won't be.
Scary for: Onlookers
Well, now we know where the designers of the Volkswagen Thing went to work after VW canned their sorry butts. Take a good look at this vehicle — it's a tribute to the art of unfortunate compromises. Someone at GM said "take a minivan, whack off a few corners and make something we can call a utility vehicle." The car itself was not bad — rather utilitarian, actually — but it pinned the needle on the visual pollution scale.
Posted on 10/2/06
I call them a "fishbowl on wheels"
I once owned a 72 Ford Maverick with a 302 Boss V-8 with 4bbl Holley Carb. Put you back in the seat no problem, but scary for handling and suspension.
I also owned an early 70's model Volkswagon microbus that caught on fire (fuel injections system), and a 72 Pinto wagon (don't ask why I bought these - I don't know why - probably their price).
I actually like the Smart Car, and if I ever moved back to a large city but still needed a car, I'd love to have a Smart Car which I could park sideways. Saw them all over Rome a few weeks ago.
"My hotrod isn't on there - 1967 Dodge Coronet 440. The ultimate sleeper sled."
Mopar didn't discover handling until the 1980's. My dad's '73 New Yorker was 3 tons of car, with a 440 motor, that would corner by scraping off the door handles if you went around a corner at 20 mph. The '73 Duster would get tail-happy even equipped with the Slant 6.
NOW were talkin!!
It's entirely possible. To be perfectly honest I don't remember much of the 70s. That's probably a good thing.
It's also the reason I'll never run for high political office. There's no telling who or what could crawl out of the woodwork.
There'd be no way I could deny it, either.
L
A car that spends most of its life on blocks in a garage leaking oil is not much of a threat to anyone. Unless it falls off the blocks and lands on someone or one of the kids slips on the oil spill.
"All of the parts falling from this automobile are of the finest English woirkmanship"
Smarts car was the Sunbeam, same body but the Tiger had a V8 stuffed in it. This one has the 289ci.It's a Shelby Tiger
The Renault Dauphine
My older sister had one with her husband in the '50s. Total tin can junkmobile. Scary for driver and passengers when hit by a Buick.
Anytime I took it to the Dodge dealership to get parts for my Dodge minivan, a salesman would offer $4000-5000 on any car in the lot. I'd always tell them I'd take the cash, and they'd back down.
Had a couple police officers offer to go light to light with their Crown Vics. I always made a point of saying no, and going no faster than 45 on the way to the next light.
The handling thing is true - but in a straight line - look out. That thing would get up and straight out walk.
"Deathtrap scary"
Actually, 4th Gear crashed one of the Smart Cars.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju6t-yyoU8s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXnW_Me-w5w&mode=related&search=
It actually didn't do that bad!
Now that is truly butt-ugly!
Smarts car was the Sunbeam, same body but the Tiger had a V8 stuffed in it. This one has the 289ci.It's a Shelby Tiger
Two friends and I lived in a Sunbeam one summer.
I think it's the EXT you're thinking of. Actually, I had a '92 Escort. It was a good, reliable little car. The best $9999 I ever spent on a car.
That is some funny stuff...
But the occupants were usually too stooooooooooned to care!
...some geniuses at Chevy decided that what the Monza needed was a V-8, so they shoehorned one in there. The result? Half the spark plugs are almost impossible to reach; to get at them you need rappelling equipment and an air chisel.
No problem! Just pull back the carpet & insulation back from the firewall, pull out yer trusty 'smoke wrench' and cut two access holes. Slap some pieces of used conveyor belt over the holes, put the carpet back in place and yer ready to go!
This car had one redeeming quality.
It often came with the 'cute girl' option!
Something about a gremlin, beyond that I have no clue.
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