[Seadog Bytes]

Daffynitions:

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both
ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born
and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have.
...You have character lines.

[Mrs.Nooseman]

ROFLOL.

[Lady Jag]

I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think.  I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself.  You know these kind of girls: 'I'm hot. I'm on fire.  Me, me, me.' You know.  'Help me, put me out.' Come on, could we talk about me just a little bit?""