Posted on 09/13/2006 3:39:30 PM PDT by icwhatudo
My daughter just started the 4th grade in a Catholic school in Maryland. I have been informed that she will be learning about "sperm", "eggs" etc but not full sex ed until later. (To me that sounds like someone just being a little bit pregnant).
I program my cable with passwords to avoid adult material being available to my child. I use online filters to protect my child while online. I pay a ton of money to send my child to Catholic school hoping to avoid the problems of government school that forces sex ed on kids at an earlier and earlier age. I'm really upset.
Its not that I want my child to be kept in the dark, I just think its more appropriate late in the 5th grade or early in the 6th. My God, why does a child who puts her tooth under her pillow for the tooth fairy need to know what sperm is?
Am I off base? Am I a religious whacko? Isn't there a time for a child to simply be a child?
If anyone has experience in this issue, or can share their thoughts as a fellow parent please do. I've thought about requesting to "Op-out" but I'm not sure thats an option and I worry about her being teased as everyone else becomes "in the know".
Again, I know they can't stay a child forever, but 3 months after leaving 3rd grade to learn about sperm?????
Your thoughts/suggestions appreciated.
I taught 5th Grade in a Catholic school in Chicago. We taugth "sex ed" as part of the religion class, at the end of the year. It was basic biology and why you don't have sex until you're married. I thought it was really well presented. I also sent home copies of the text and invitations to the parents to attend the class, no one responded. The girls (the other 5th grade teacher took the boys) didn't want to learn about sex at all, they kept saying they were too young! They were concerned about getting their period though..I do agree this early in 4th grade is young and personally I would either be in class the day it's taught or pull my child if you're not comfortable.
Learned it in 4th grade in 1989-1990.
Didn't bother me a bit.
I teach religion to fourth grade in a Catholic School. I don't know if your school uses the same curriculum as we do, but we use Benziger Family Life for this portion of our religion curriculum. It does talk about sperm and eggs but it doesn't mention reproduction or sex at all. It is a very small section in the curriculum (2 or 3 lessons at the most) and it is clearly designed to promote a pro-life point of view, without actually discussing conception.
We allow parents to review the material presented and to opt their children out of this portion if they would prefer their child not be exposed to the material. Keep in mind that many kids in fourth grade already know all about the birds and the bees.
Our focus in presenting the lesson is to introduce the idea that a baby begins in the mother's belly as a microscopic group of cells. Even when we can't see it, or feel it moving around, it is a baby boy or girl, specially designed by God. We show some ultrasound pictures of how babies grow, and what we looked like while we were still in Mom's tummy. The kids are much more interested in babies than the egg and sperm, which are meaningless terms to them at this age. I never thought it was inappropriate at all, and I have never had a student make the jump into sex or conception.
It may not be the same where you are, but thought it might help.
Our son just completed 4th grade at the Catholic school in LAurel, MD. The closest thing they got to sex was basic cell division--not so much as one word about birds and bees. Same thing for 5th grade. They don't go into any detail about that until 6th and 7th gradesAnd by then, they will have learned a great deal of it anyway.
"From what I've seen most Catholic schools nowadays are "in name only.' They are taught by non-Catholic teachers, the curriculum is chosen by non_Catholic administrators and boards."
Do you have any information other than your personal observations to support this statement? I am asking because I have worked in Catholic Schools for years and almost all the teachers and administrators are Catholic, and the schools are all run by the Archdiocese superintendent.
It all depends on what EXACTLY is being taught. However, the way you describe I would have to say that you are overreacting. What your kids are being taught is science, or more specifically biology, by learning how human life begins. Don't be so defensive, and don't look for problems where there aren't any.
In fact, you can try looking at it another way if it will make you feel better about it. When your kids learn at this young age about how sperm and eggs create people, it can very well make it that much harder for some baby killing nutjob to convince them that abortion is nothing more than a 'harmless medical procedure'. Because your kids will have learned early in life, that life begins at conception.
I would say I was probably 4th grade was when I had sex ed in Catholic school. That's probably around 1981 or maybe 5th grade, 1982.
My parents had already discussed it with me before that. Even back then schools knew if they waited too much longer the kid would start puberty and it might be too late.
Home School and tell 'em why!
Thanks everyone for your responses-its gives me a lot to think about. I love this place!
Is fourth grade too young to get the basics about sex ed, especially the strict biology of puberty? NO. I was one of those unlucky Catholic lasses who not only didn't learn it in school, but my mom never informed me. When I got my first period, I thought I was dying and freaked right the hell out.
Get a first hand look at the entire sex ed curriculum that your daughter will be exposed to. I'll bet you lunch you'll be relieved at how tame it is. In fourth grade, it's not about intercourse--it's about changes every child's body goes through, learning the names and functions of all the different parts "down yonder," and hygiene.
With all due respect to your efforts to place your child in a good private (religious/Catholic) school, I think you need to do some serious and immediate research on an alternative private religious school. Here are my reasons for this position:
As a former Catholic (yes, I am now a Protestant) my observation is that the Catholic church here in the U.S. has gone way, way too far in the direction of secularism. How many nuns do you have running the school in which you have placed your child? Probably few, if any. Hence, the 'lay' staff is probably made up of teachers who have opted out of the public school system but do not have a particularly religious 'bent'. I would urge you to visit other private religious schools. You could find that they will not be detrimental to your desire to raise your child as a Catholic (assuming that is one goal you have) but may not be involved in such nonsense as teaching 'sperm' to a small child.
"From what I've seen" ...pretty much tells the story to me.
There's not enough in your statement to really make a value judgment regarding the cirriculumn....
If they are teaching the basics of biology then you will doing your child disservice by keeping them out. Especially if the curriculum in non-sexual in nature but simply covering the basic biology points.
All three of my children went through Catholic School from K-12 and if we found the material taught possibly objectionable, we scheduled a time to come in and review with context.
Each time, any concerns or fears were simply set aside when the material was reviewed.
Children in the 4th grade ask many questions.....the answers should be factual but age appropriate. 4th graders are curious where babies come from....they do not however need an in depth discussion of Human Sexuality.
A simple sperm combines with an egg in mommy's tummy that grows into a baby is sufficient. The focus on the biology from that point is pre-natal infant development.
Conclusion, review the material with the school and chances are you will allow your child to participate.
A Catholic School, regardless of Diocese, is not going to teach 4th graders a full course in Human Sexuality. I think your fears are overblown.
Yup, that's exactly what we just covered in science in our 4th grade class.
susie
My husband is a farm-boy. He doesn't remember a time when he didn't know about sex.
I am a city girl. My mom gave me a couple of pamphlets when I was in 6th grade and health class in grade 7 taught me an awful lot.
We chose to answer our kids questions honestly, but age appropriately. When asked by a little one how a baby gets in a mommy's tummy, my husband says a daddy gives something special to a mommy and sometimes God will turn it into a baby. As the kids age, we add more specifics.
The kids are 10, 9, and 7 now. The 10 and 9 year old know how sex works including proper names for body parts and the like. They also know it is a gift of God for married people. The 7 year old is still just not interested and is good with the explanation in the above paragraph.
Is Grade 4 a good time to explain? Yes. If you have set some groundwork before hand, it will not be a shock to your child. The first time a child hears the word sperm shouldn't be in school, it should be at home.
My son will be having "Family Life" this year in GA, in 7th grade.
I think 6th or 7th is appropriate, but I am checking out the curriculum. I will not allow him to attend if it does not align with our moral code.
I learned about sex in a very matter-of-factly manner in a sex ed course in 5th grade in a Catholic school in 1993. Didn't traumatize me - I had looked up bits and pieces in encyclopedias and such before as I had been earlier somewhat curious (and my parents were definitely of the "not wanting to talk about sex" type). The only part I didn't like was when we "had" to ask the church/school youth minister some sort of sexually-related question. I was 10 - my virginity was still going to be sealed for a looooong time - what did I honestly have to ask?
Ironically, he later transferred to my high school and was my 12th grade "christian relations" course instructor, where he felt the need to elucidate his and his wife's entire sexual history and reproductive issues in great detail. Way TMI but I did learn an awful lot about natural family planning. And there was the whole STD slideshow in 8th and 10th grades. Now that's fun.
In sum, fourth grade is probably fine. It's best to give kids the facts as early as possible IMO to fight the eternal mistruth and falsehoods of the playground.
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