Freepun PING!
Freepun PING!
PING! A thread with some great jokes, so get over here and post some puns and ruin it! 8)
Like this one:
The Catholic Church had invited the world's foremost religious leaders to an ecumenical interfaith conference in Rome, but the Pope realized as the Dalai Lama exited his limo that the Swiss Guards had forgotten to line up enough furniture to hold all the hats and coats and capes that ministerial types tend to wear.
However, the Pope couldn't just have a Cardinal run out back and grab an armoire out of the Basilica, he'd be recognized, and the historic furniture of St. Peter's couldn't be moved. Worse, if the lack of preparation got out, it would embarrass the Vatican in front of the attending leaders, not to mention the church in the eyes of the world.
So quietly, Benedict decided to ask some of the lesser-known conference representatives, who had arrived early, to make their way through the throngs of religious Roman laymen gathered for the occasion and see if they could quickly lay hands on the woodwork necessary to hold the myriad accoutrements.
His missive?
"Go forth, among the Papal--Sihk and Druze, shelf-find!"
This joke has a physical element, so when you tell the punch line you need to spread your arms out:
Q: Why did the blonde go to church?
A: Cuz she heard there was guy there hung like this!
Ok, here goes the follow up to 238:
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for a new bell ringer of Notre Dame.
The first man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, and died on the spot.
Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. "What's happened? Who is this man?" asked the first breatheless monk.
"I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop but he's a dead ringer for his brother."